gender is weird

[Surmonter]

Me being gay, people often think I am more feminine. When really, I am quite masculine, or what people consider to be masculine. However I do not see it that way. I think..I am just me. People will act how they feel. A boy acting like what society classifies as "feminine" isn't really a boy acting feminine in my eyes. It's a boy acting like himself. The same goes for all. Sure, I have so-called masculine qualities, but I have just as many feminine qualities that people would laugh at me for, but really I don't care, because they make me happy.

I do not think the current standards or stereotypes are fair. But I do understand them.

Here is a perfect double standards regarding gender:

A father is worried about his daughter and boys, but not his son and girls. This is because he thinks the daughter is weaker than the son. The thought is completely unintentional, but it's because of societies views on gender-roles and attributes.

And Pachy brought up a very good point. A girl who acts like a guy is perfectly okay. You know why? Society thinks it's good to be male. But when a guy acts like a girl, it's shunned because society thinks it should be shameful to be female.

Again, these thoughts are unintentional, but they are there. That's just how the world's collective social spectrum is.

I don't agree with any of these thoughts that I have noticed, and have read about from other people. I think everyone is equal, I never really understood gender roles in society. Why is it shameful to be a woman? It's not. So why do some people act that way? :| Oh no, slightly different organs!

I hope I worded this right to get my message across. @_@ I don't want to offend anyone because I was stupid and worded something strange!

 

[Pikachu_Charmander4eva]

I'm a female and my family expects me to be girly and feminine, but I'm not. I have very low self esteem from all the harassment and bullying I've been through in my life, and I blame most of it on gender stereotypes. I am a "bull dyke" even though I am not a lesbian. It's very humiliating and I don't think I'll ever find that "special someone" because of it.

Also hi, I registered this account over five years ago and never used it. :)

 

[ANARCHit3cht]

Well, there are these online college commericals, and it tells girls to do something like go grab slippers. (I forget.) But then she says, "Guys, cover up." I found that to be a somewhat insulting stereotype. Also, girls can hug other girls, hold their hands, call them cute etc... but if a guy does basically anything(bar maybe the hug in some circumstances) he is labeled gay/a weirdo. /sigh.

 

[TRIFORCE89]

The assumption that as a male I watch sports fanatically and religiously (let alone at all, which I don't). At family gatherings I don't really have anything to talk about with my male family members nor can I answer even their apparently simple questions.

 

[crymomma]

I think that nobody really care about me. when i told them that i was older. when i was put down like a dog on another forum.

 

[Executive Proton]

I find it prevalent that my career choice (film production and editing) has a lot less females that it should have because of the assumption that the filmmaking industry has always been a man's game.

In reality, the few females in my porduction and editing classes are usually the best.

 

[Sydian]

I find it stupid that when guys make nasty jokes about their genitals, it's fine, but if girl jokes around about sex, she's looked at awkwardly and the joke isn't even considered humorous. It's hard for girls to even be considered funny because of that situation.

 

[BareBones]

I think the entire bloody thing is stupid. I'm a girl, I'm bisexual, and I dress and act like a guy. If I make a sex joke I just get a dirty look, but if a guy makes the same joke, it's hilarious. But meh, I couldn't care less.

Gender stereotypes are just stupid. It annoys me even more that it's fine for a girl to be bisexual, or a lesbian (most the time), but if a guy is gay it's disgusting... and I can go out in shirts, boots and jeans, but if a guy goes out in what would be determined as 'girls clothing' he'd probably get beaten up and verbally abused.

Well. I don't care what you do, and what you say, and how you act. I don't look at gender, it's pointless for everything other than making kids.

 

[digi-kun]

Personally, I use gender stereotypes, but those stereotypes are mostly stereotypes that I've come to a conclusion to myself. Gender stereotypes in regard to hobbies and such are mostly outdated at this point, but some of the simpler stereotypes stay the same.

So yes, I do use gender stereotypes up to the points where I actually get to know said person, in which I accommodate topics with that person to within their interests.

 

[Taemin]

Ohgosh, this discussion. xD; My family is pretty hardcore into gender stereotypes, or at least the belief that you should want to look or act a certain way 'because you're a girl' or 'because you're a guy'. & then there's me, who hates them. I believe everyone has a right to be themselves, no matter what or who that happens to be. For example, thinking a guy should want to go kick the heck outta other guys, or play hardcore sports, and hate chick flicks just because they're a guy. Or with girls, I suppose it would be "Shouldn't she be wearing make-up? She's 17/ 18/ what-have-you now!", and things similar to that, and it always pisses me off when my mom says things of that nature.

I know guys who wish they were girls, or just do girly things, and prefer it that way. Likewise, I know girls who would rather not be girls at all, or are super tomboyish. & They're some of the most awesome people I know, despite not sticking to gender-related norms, and all that. :/

 

[Charizard★]

My family is also very stereotypical, they don't like girls who act a little bit like guys, or guys that act a little like girls. They are against homosexuals, which I think is wrong. They would always comment on someones sexuality or how the act or dress when they see it. Although in a different language of course so no one could understand them.

My sister brought her gay friend over once and my parents flipped out. I always tell them theres nothing wrong with homosexuals and that they aren't bad people, but they never listen to a word I say. Mainly because my grandma is very religious and taught them to live life normally or something like that.

Every time my family gathers they always have a main topic they talk about. Kind of like gossiping, they sometimes talk about certain people, even their own family remember when they are not around. I find it very wrong and I try to stop it whenever I see it.

Sorry if I went a bit offtopic ><

 

[twocows]

Not really, but sometimes I'm seen as weird because I like cute things. It doesn't really bother me, though.

 

[Dawn]

I started thinking I agreed with you, but now I'm not too sure. So, for instance, if a male started living under a female's "gender role," would you consider that destruction or not? If yes, I don't agree with you. XD

Eeerrrr... totally late answering this. I wouldn't consider that destruction.

I find it stupid that when guys make nasty jokes about their genitals, it's fine, but if girl jokes around about sex, she's looked at awkwardly and the joke isn't even considered humorous. It's hard for girls to even be considered funny because of that situation.

I wouldn't call it hard. It's just different. Different humor is enjoyed. So what, y'know? I mean, do most girls where you live like those dirty jokes?

I think the entire bloody thing is stupid. I'm a girl, I'm bisexual, and I dress and act like a guy. If I make a sex joke I just get a dirty look, but if a guy makes the same joke, it's hilarious. But meh, I couldn't care less.

Gender stereotypes are just stupid. It annoys me even more that it's fine for a girl to be bisexual, or a lesbian (most the time), but if a guy is gay it's disgusting... and I can go out in shirts, boots and jeans, but if a guy goes out in what would be determined as 'girls clothing' he'd probably get beaten up and verbally abused.

Well. I don't care what you do, and what you say, and how you act. I don't look at gender, it's pointless for everything other than making kids.

I'm bisexual too. I would under no circumstances identify myself as having a clear gender roll. I don't see why, even though you admit you don't care, you insist on bashing them. If you don't care, why don't you let nature do it's course instead of a pointless unnatural alternative?

 

[Kylie-chan]

This is generally a societal thing. Gender is very strange, I completely agree with the title. What we make of gender is generally reinforced by stereotypes and upbringing / traditional gender roles. I think we've been progressing well in acceptance that gender isn't the defining part of a person's identity, although more complex concepts like "gender != sex" are a long way yet, if ever (especially for more conservative people). However, that's generally for women acting like a man is expected to, though it'll still get you labelled a butch. Men who act feminine are generally treated worse in my experience. I have seen and heard some absolutely horrible, ignorant things aimed at women too.

One problem is that for most people, gender is intrinsically tied with biological sex and sexual preference. There's this belief that a relationship is made up of a man and a woman at the heart, and someone must fulfill the role (even in a lesbian relationship, it's stereotyped as butch x femme..) I know this is getting a bit tangential, but as a bisexual girl, I often see other women identify as butch, femme, etc. If anything this is just a label to describe types of behaviour. It's so silly to me that a woman isn't "feminine" because she cuts her hair short, wears man clothes, and is assertive. And yet even in the lesbian community she is categorised as "butch", even if she is very much a woman, and proud to be a woman, and happy with her femininity.

In the end, it's just a commonly accepted matter of semantics. I think it's damaging, but it's pretty much inevitable for now.

 

[Weatherman Kiyoshi]

Should any type of steryotypical roles or ideas exist at all?

no.

Do they exist?

Yes. :C

Now why is that?

....I- I don't know? I mean, I don't see a need for it.

Oh, you don't see a need for it? You know why that is?

I dunno, why?

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT STUPID.


It's outwardly ridiculous (in a bad way :D) about how much people go around and label people about how they should act, do, and be interested in.
Because thier rather insecure about themselves, they grew up in a family that brainwashed them into thinking this way, or they're stupid all on thier own.

The only difference I see in men and women is thier body structure.

Sure, I find myself being more engaged in more male-orientated activites, but that's because I'm me. I'm not feminine.

People should look at the person for them just being themselves, instead of a freak of nature.
I mean, girls can be more of a dominant partner while guys can be submissive partners sometimes, it all depends on the person.

Not everything follows the social grind of normality, in fact, many things don't BECAUSE WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT.
It's just that most of society frowns upon it, because they can't handle "different."

I'm proud to be "wierd," because it means I'm an individual, and not dime a dozen.

Gender should never matter. Neither should race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, where you live, etc.

 

[Timbjerr]

I can pretty much agree with the majority viewpoint in this thread. Gender roles exist. They're not necessarily bad things. Being ridiculed for not fitting into your biological gender role is lame.

I'm just amazed at the amount of passion that most of you guys have over this issue. I was a boy born and raised in a politically accepting environment (in Texas no less...talk about defying stereotypes) and I eventually embraced a generally masculine gender role. I've had values instilled into me from a young age (by my dad...a staunch Republican no less) to judge people solely on their character, not on any labels I perceive them having, so it was...interesting reading these stories from people who have genuinely had to face such hardships in their life.

 

[SonicThrust]

Personally I find many of the 'harmless' male stereotypes annoying. People ask me to do heavy lifting or physically demanding jobs/favours instead of a girl simply because I'm male and therefore, should be stronger. Additionally, the assumption that all guys should like sports is ridiculous, but I'm faced with it all the time. I really don't like sports, I don't like playing then and I don't like watching them, yet people find this weird and really it gives me nothing to talk about with most other guys...no wonder most of my friends are female.

 

[Mirby]

I know guys who wish they were girls, or just do girly things, and prefer it that way. Likewise, I know girls who would rather not be girls at all, or are super tomboyish. & They're some of the most awesome people I know, despite not sticking to gender-related norms, and all that. :/

Gee, I can think of people that fit these roles perfectly... :P

Yeah, I'm trans, and I want to be a girl. And even if I'm trying to go into a different gender role, I'm not going to follow it.

Oh wait, I don't even believe in gender. To me, gender is what one really is (sex is the physical indicator). Or something. I don't really care. I am who I am, and if you don't like it, tough.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Theodor Geisel

One of my favorite quotes right there.

 

[Gardenia101]

Yeah, there are waaay too many stereotypes.
And it's really weird, because:
1.I'm the only girl that doesn't wear make-up
2.I still am better than all the boys at running
3.I wear jerseys and soccer shorts
4.I like war games

Kinda creepy, isn't it? I'm the ultimate tomboy. But often when I go on forums and don't say if I'm boy or girl, people always refer to me as a "He". Hmm.

SometimesI wish I was a boy, too, because everyone keeps expecting me to like Volleyball over everything, love pink, etc. And, really, only a FEW girls are like that!

Grrr....

 

[Melody]

Honestly, I feel that if society could be educated in a way that defines gender as the sex of the character and nothing more. Then we could further expand upon the idea by saying that girls don't need to be girly, and boys don't need to be boyish.

That being said, I never did feel as if the stereotypes themselves were completely flawed. They're just enforced improperly. I believe it's been found that being Female is the default gender of the human body, and you don't become male unless you inherited the Y chromosome from your father, which is left largely up to chance...and the rules of genetics.