Happiness and the Internet...

[Skip Class]

If you balance your life equally you'll be happy. I juggle Sports, my studies, my hobbies and music while at the same time my friends and the internet. I'm guessing it's whatever you do that makes you happy

 

[magikarptrainer]

Ahem.
CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION

In other words, it's quite possible that your internet usage has nothing to do with your social activeness. It could be (and quite likely is) that people that are unsocial are simply more likely to turn to the internet for their social life. Also, I'm willing to bet this "study" fails to consider internet friends as friends.

It's a snowball effect. The evidence is all over this thread.


People with unsuccessful social lives are drawn to the internet. If they are more successful there they can neglect their real social lives and not really develop their social abilities. So they don't improve their social skills so they are drawn to the internet stronger to substitute a social life and the cycle repeats.


The internet can be a really addictive and bad habit. Sometimes it's pretty good to just log off.

 

[Dukey]

That's completely stupid.
Anybody who wants to can balance out their internet & social life, and what if kids/people were already depressed before they joined the internet? Maybe the internet is all they have and a single place of happiness for them?

It's all about balancing it out, and not getting too caught up in something.

 

[Guillermo]

This makes sense if you're a social outcast and struggle making friends. If not, then being on the internet shouldn't affect your IRL at all. That's why they're two separate things. You don't let them interfere.

 

[twocows]

It's a snowball effect. The evidence is all over this thread.


People with unsuccessful social lives are drawn to the internet. If they are more successful there they can neglect their real social lives and not really develop their social abilities. So they don't improve their social skills so they are drawn to the internet stronger to substitute a social life and the cycle repeats.


The internet can be a really addictive and bad habit. Sometimes it's pretty good to just log off.

Now you're implying that a "real" (I use this word out of convenience, but it's misleading) social life is more valuable than an internet one, of which I have seen no evidence. And this doesn't change my initial assertion; people that are already depressed tend to be attracted to the internet, so you've got a biased sample to begin with. The internet doesn't cause that at all; if anything, I'd say it lessens it based on what I've seen in this thread (and from my own experiences).

 

[magikarptrainer]

Now you're implying that a "real" (I use this word out of convenience, but it's misleading) social life is more valuable than an internet one, of which I have seen no evidence.

You don't go to school on the internet

You don't go to work on the internet

You don't have relationships, get married and start a family on the internet.





Being social isn't always about immediate gratification.

 

[twocows]

You don't go to school on the internet

You don't go to work on the internet

And that has what to do with relationships?

You don't have relationships, get married and start a family on the internet.

Wrong. And no, this isn't the only example, it happens a lot more often than you'd think. I met my first girlfriend on the internet a few years ago, and while things didn't work out in the end, I'll be damned if I let anyone call it meaningless.

Being social isn't always about immediate gratification.

Again, what does this have to do with anything?

 

[CharonEX]

...WOAH! I seriously just went through something like that .-.
Depression and all, and (even though I do have some friends) I was feeling like I didn't have any.

But really for me it's the internet that makes me happy since it's where I can keep in contact with friends who haven't given me their numbers, and lots of my online friends I've known longer than my real life friends, so I just seem to get along with my online friends better than my real life friends, so I'm actually a little more happier online.

 

[Bay]

You don't go to school on the internet

Um, college/university online courses would like to say hi. Also, how about the homeschooled kids that needed the internet for research? I think US K-12 schools and the equivalent of that in other countries has online classes too, but not exactly sure.

You don't go to work on the internet

There's a thing called work at home. Many times you'll have to use email and chat to speak with the employees, bosses, and clients/customers. Also, a lot of people like to work at home because it is more convenient for them in that they wouldn't have to travel far and can still take care the house and family at the same time. In fact, when I took an information systems class at uni my professor said how people who stayed at home are actually more productive than the people at work and able to get more done.

Even if you're not working at home, you'll still need the internet to check your emails and other things. Most workplace will restrict or make sure you don't go on websites you're not supposed to go to.

You don't have relationships, get married and start a family on the internet.

Like twocows said, many people find relationships on the internet. Whether it worked out for them or not is a whole other story. Also, how about the many dating and social networking websites that helps many people who are shy about going out? Those sites sometimes give the people a push to have them to find someone and eventually to go out.

As for me, like a few others mentioned, I'm able to balance out between real life, hobbies and the internet. I'm able to surf the web and chat with my online friends, get my studies done, spend time with my family and real life friends, do my fanfiction and making banners, and I have a part time job. There might be times I might suddenly surf the web too long or spend too much time with family and friends when I'm supposed to be doing something else, but at this moment I'm happy. Online I get to chat with my friends and a lot of times funny conversations happen. That also goes the same when I'm with my real life friends and family.

 

[Honest]

Well, my mouth says that without the internet, I'd be a hell of a lot more sadder, but without it, my grades would sure to improve, along with my mood about school (I guess).

So I guess there is some truth in that article. : P

 

[Opaque]

Ahem.
CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION

In other words, it's quite possible that your internet usage has nothing to do with your social activeness. It could be (and quite likely is) that people that are unsocial are simply more likely to turn to the internet for their social life. Also, I'm willing to bet this "study" fails to consider internet friends as friends.

lol, yes, I know that correlation does not equal causation - however, if there is a strong positive relationship between the two variables - it should definitely be analyzed and studied. Another point is that the study was more like an experiment - so they had controlled variables and stuff....

I actually disagree with the claim that online friendships are considered to be not 'real' or valid - another study in the same article also said that it's actually psychologically beneficial to have online friends.

In order for the internet to be a negative influence on a person, I think it depends on how you use the internet and the intensity that you use it. I think that there is a blurred/unclear line between healthy use and addiction - I remember seeing a MTV 'Real Life' episode, and the intensity of their internet addiction was a bit too much. I've also heard stories about people who are addicted to MMORPGs - personally, I think that's a bit extreme, but that's just my opinion.

 

[magikarptrainer]

Um, college/university online courses would like to say hi. Also, how about the homeschooled kids that needed the internet for research? I think US K-12 schools and the equivalent of that in other countries has online classes too, but not exactly sure.


There's a thing called work at home. Many times you'll have to use email and chat to speak with the employees, bosses, and clients/customers. Also, a lot of people like to work at home because it is more convenient for them in that they wouldn't have to travel far and can still take care the house and family at the same time. In fact, when I took an information systems class at uni my professor said how people who stayed at home are actually more productive than the people at work and able to get more done.

Even if you're not working at home, you'll still need the internet to check your emails and other things. Most workplace will restrict or make sure you don't go on websites you're not supposed to go to.


Like twocows said, many people find relationships on the internet. Whether it worked out for them or not is a whole other story. Also, how about the many dating and social networking websites that helps many people who are shy about going out? Those sites sometimes give the people a push to have them to find someone and eventually to go out.

As for me, like a few others mentioned, I'm able to balance out between real life, hobbies and the internet. I'm able to surf the web and chat with my online friends, get my studies done, spend time with my family and real life friends, do my fanfiction and making banners, and I have a part time job. There might be times I might suddenly surf the web too long or spend too much time with family and friends when I'm supposed to be doing something else, but at this moment I'm happy. Online I get to chat with my friends and a lot of times funny conversations happen. That also goes the same when I'm with my real life friends and family.

Yeah, the exceptions totally prove the rule.


For every 1 person who completes their degree online, there are tonnes that do it in reality.

For every person who is able to work from home, there are many many more who have no choice and must socialize as part of their job.


And you might meet people online. But you cannot have a complete, adult relationship online.


For 99% of us, we won't get a choice. We can't hide from the real world (and nor should we want to)

 

[twocows]

And you might meet people online. But you cannot have a complete, adult relationship online.

Bull. I had one, and I know other people that have had them. And there are people who have gotten married as a result of "complete, adult relationships" online; I already linked to one of these stories. The only thing you don't get in an online relationship is sex, and that's the one thing that isn't actually necessary in a "complete, adult relationship."

 

[magikarptrainer]

Bull. I had one, and I know other people that have had them. And there are people who have gotten married as a result of "complete, adult relationships" online; I already linked to one of these stories. The only thing you don't get in an online relationship is sex, and that's the one thing that isn't actually necessary in a "complete, adult relationship."

Well firstly, yes sex is necessary

secondly, once they got married, did they continue to only have their relationship online? Or was it a conventional relationship then?

 

[twocows]

Well firstly, yes sex is necessary

secondly, once they got married, did they continue to only have their relationship online? Or was it a conventional relationship then?

It's often more convenient (and romantic) to live together once you're married. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex. And no, sex is not necessary in a relationship. It's certainly nice, though.

 

[Bay]

Yeah, the exceptions totally prove the rule.


For every 1 person who completes their degree online, there are tonnes that do it in reality.

Sometimes online courses are more convenient for a lot of people. I know many of my teachers, co-workers, and friends that take online classes due to them working and have other proprieties and they're doing fine. Sure you might not be able to interact with your professors and classmates face to face (unless there are certain courses where you would have to meet them up at least once), but the study materials shouldn't be that much different.

For every person who is able to work from home, there are many many more who have no choice and must socialize as part of their job.

I already mentioned most of those people work from home because it is more convenient for them so that they can take care of their family at the same time. Also I forgot one other reason is they have a disability of some sort (mental, physical, etc.) and they have no choice but to work at home. It's true maybe they won't be able to come face to face with their bosses and co-workers, but if they want to socialize there's always family, friends, neighbors, etc. they can go to.

And you might meet people online. But you cannot have a complete, adult relationship online.

*points you again to what twocows said and also in agreement sex isn't necessary in a relationship* >.>

For 99% of us, we won't get a choice. We can't hide from the real world (and nor should we want to)

I agree we can't hide from the real world and not have the internet take over our lives. However, just because we take online classes, work from home, and have an online relationship doesn't mean our socialization skills will deteriorate or we're doom to be alone and miserable forever. Many people who do those things are still able to socialize with other people face to face.

 

[Astinus]

Well firstly, yes sex is necessary

No, it's really not. Romantic asexuals are those who seek out relationships, but don't want/need sex. And that's one example I have the knowledge to talk about.

secondly, once they got married, did they continue to only have their relationship online? Or was it a conventional relationship then?

When two people live together, they don't need to continue their relationship online. But when one member of the relationship is no longer living in the house (job reason or the military comes to mind), then the Internet is still there to allow for easy real-time conversations.

For every 1 person who completes their degree online, there are tonnes that do it in reality.

And? For that one person, it might not be easy to go to school in "reality" (whatever that means). Online courses, or at least the ones I took, weren't done at a set time. It was exactly like a forum, so I didn't have to continue to take time off from work to go to school. I could participate in the classroom at a convenient time for me, and the other twenty-ish students could participate when it was convenient for them. And things worked fine.

Yes, it is more common and more known for people to go to college at an actual campus, in an actual school building. But it's becoming more acceptable for people to go to school online because, surprise surprise!, technology is moving forward. It's even suggested to people who are busy with their jobs/families (that they might have started by meeting their partner online!) that they look into online courses because of how easy it is.

Are these people social shut-ins who spend all their time in front of the computer with a bag of chips as their only companion? Not at all. They're not going to school online because they don't want to talk to people.

For 99% of us, we won't get a choice. We can't hide from the real world (and nor should we want to)

Aw yeah. I get to break out some personal "cool story, bro!"

No, people don't get to honestly hide away from people. Some might like to for whatever reason (people are just honestly dreadful; social anxiety; depression; whatever the reason), but most of us do still enter society. I'm like that. I didn't always like spending time with people. But after spending time on the Internet, I learned communication skills and built up some confidence that now I can handle people better. (Like, you know, walking away when someone is being obtuse. My patience for people has risen greatly, though whether that's because of people online or customers at my store...idk.)

I know. I know. "But you're the exception! You don't prove the rule!"

At any rate, no the Internet isn't a horrible evil addiction for the majority of people on it. There will always be people who do have addictions to the Internet, or their computer games, or anything in the world. That's how it is. But you can't claim that just because some people prefer being on the Internet over going out with friends and being publicly social they are being detrimental to themselves.

Some people are addicted to the Internet =/= All people are addicted to the Internet

Some people have unhealthy relationships online =/= All people have unhealthy relationships online

I don't know. I just get the feeling that you don't quite see that it is possible to have friendships online/spend a part of your day online and still have the necessary skills to go out and deal with society at large.

 

[magikarptrainer]

Don't really feel any necessity to reply to most of what was posted because it was blind flailing and/or nitpicking parts and taking them out of context.

But I do want to comment on

I don't know. I just get the feeling that you don't quite see that it is possible to have friendships online/spend a part of your day online and still have the necessary skills to go out and deal with society at large.

Obviously I know that. After all, I am online right now aren't I ?

 

[Taemin]

I agree with that statement. It's been proved to me many times that people who stay online almost constantly aren't as happy. They might not realize it, but staying all isolated on the computer does have a negative effect on them.. that's why so many people on myspace are all emo all the time. Because they spent all their time there, and cut themselves off from other things that used to bring them joy.

People's lives need balance, and sometimes my own life gets out of balance, especially lately with the situation I'm in. Sometimes I'm left with nothing to do but sit online (because I have to stay home a lot to take of people), although after a certain point I tell myself "I need to do other things, even if it's just finding time to go out with friends for a few hours." ...so I make a time slot for that, and it does raise my mood.

The internet itself is found to be something fun, but so are videogames, and such.. it goes with the saying "Too much of a good thing", and when it's overkilled, take a break and go do something else. Refresh your mind set, and then you won't be as down.~

I believe that you can find happiness online, but just like everything else in life that bring you happiness, you need a break from it at times. if that doesn't happen, it's effect will backfire. xD;

 

[Ninja Caterpie]

I agree with Drew. The internet is a good thing and it can raise your overall mood, but there is such thing as "too much of a good thing".