So I feel a tad awkward about this but I really need some help.
So recently I found out I have clinical depression and a bad case of social anxiety. I get really upset about everything and I never want to leave the house. I get scared to go to school because I feel like people will judge me on who I am. I find it hard to function and even talk to others so I spend most of my time on Youtube or on forums. I hate this stuff and it makes me very sad.
I guess... I'm just scared...
I know how you feel dude, except I've gotten nothing diagnosed. I guess I'm afraid of someone telling me that my sadness and feeling of worthlessness and constant anxiety is nothing short of a disease. You know? I don't like looking at it that way. I know depression
can be that way, but I'm scared to be told that it's that way for me. I don't want it to run my life and I want to believe I can conquer it.
Gimmepie is right about having people to talk to. Close friends and therapists are both really good ideas when you're feeling like this. Friends will often offer support while therapists often offer solutions; both work wonders.
I'm going to suggest a few other things too. Keep in mind I don't know you, but I know these things have worked for me and countless others (through observation and study).
-Do things that make you smile. I know people with Depression often have a hard time with this, and they can lose interest in things that they once enjoyed, but if there's anything at all in your life that makes you happy and makes you feel meaningful, hold onto it. Don't ever believe it's a waste of time. Ever.
-Make sure you focus on your achievements as well. Getting things done and being successful, even if it's in very small things, can make you feel a lot better about yourself. Having a job is one example; working hard and getting that paycheck feels sooo nice. Either way, for work and school, do your best and be proud of what you've done, but don't stress yourself out. Finding that balance works wonders on your mental health. I know it's super hard to get going at first (trust me, I know, it's the bane of my existence currently) but you can definitely do it, and after you force yourself through the first hurdle, you'll look at your accomplishments and feel pretty awesome. The rest comes naturally. Not to say it'll be easy, but it's just much smoother sailing, if you know what I mean. It's like how when you first push a big heavy rock, it won't budge at first... but once you get it rolling, it'll continue to roll and roll without much effort. When you're just sitting at home (like I have for the past 2 years), getting your life going feelings like getting the first push in that rock. But you just gotta keep pushing until finally, you're rolling.... [:
-Take care of your body. Exercise works WONDERS! One of the many many MANY things that exercise helps is your outlook. When you're exercising regularly, you're releasing endorphins, which can help you be much happier about life in general, and keep your stress levels down. Similarly, eating less junk can keep your body feeling lighter and less gross. I know when I eat a lot of junk and don't exercise, I just feel like there's a huge lumps in my body (mostly in my stomach, chest, head, and legs), weighing me down... and boy do I feel hopeless. My boyfriend and I are going to start running for about 15 minutes every day when it stops raining; even simple things like that help waaay more than most people realize. Never ever underestimate exercise!! *-* It is also a good idea to get into other various good habits, like getting 8 hours of sleep each night (again, highly underestimated), drinking lots of water (in fact, replacing anything you drink with water is typically a good idea), and limiting computer usage, too. If you're not into any of these habits, I know it might sound silly or difficult, but I promise you won't regret it if you just try.
-Realize we're all human!! I know this might seem weird and silly or whatever but, realizing this is something that's seriously helped with my anxiety! We're all humans with emotions; even the "popular" kids at school, and the people who answer your business calls, and your teachers, and the guy passively scanning your items at the grocery store... we all have favorite colors and foods and have good and bad memories, and we are
all fighting our own battles. We all have fears and get scared sometimes, and that's perfectly fine. What's not fine is fearing the fear: thinking it's justified, and that we're below others and consequently hiding, unable to progress further into our lives. You just gotta smile and realize no one out there is better than you, or smarter than you. Everything around you was created and achieved by humans with resources you could gain yourself, they just had the initiative to be aggressive about it. And if you want to achieve things too, you have to get up and do it yourself. You want something? Go get it! Chances are, nothing's actually stopping you but yourself.
Whew, lots of typing. I hope this helps! I know feeling down about life is just the absolute worst and it's hard to see any light. But things can only get better right? <3 I look forward to my life getting better, and you should too. Just know there are people there for you and life isn't as big and scary and complicated as it may seem. Sure things can suck, but things always get better if you let them. Remember that rainbows only ever come after a storm..... as cheesy as that sounds. Good luck, and remember to keep smiling, always.
Oh yes, and know you are going to get knocked down sometimes. Everyone does. (EVERYONE!) the trick is to get back up. :D If you get knocked down 50,235,628 times, get up 50,235,629 times. Cry on someone's shoulder if you have to, take breaks watching your favorite show or listening to your favorite songs or even just taking a long walk or staring at the ceiling if it helps, just never give up. ^__^ Relentlessly pursuing what you believe in and what you want is all worth it in the end. And you can definitely do it!