Homosexuality

[Hybrid Trainer]

Well i'm gay and to be honest i don't really know if i was born this was, i know for sure its not a choice but i didn't exactly have the most perfect childhood so you could say the problems back then had something to do with it. but then again i don't really remember most of it so i could've been gay before all of it. i don't know.
To me though i like to think i was born this was as it makes more sense to say its hormones and whatnot that cause me to be attracted to the same sex.

It most certainly is not a disorder.

100% agree there

 

[Belinda]

In my opinion it's a mental disorder at birth, but I can't be sure about that since I never really do research on it. Either way, being homosexual is not right, there's definitely something wrong there.

Even though it's your so called 'opinion' I certainly don't agree with it. Just keep in mind it's 2011 so wake up and smell the beans we've been around for how long? People like you make this world ridiculous just saying.
Also, making this public:

 

[Sydian]

Why would anyone choose to be gay? To go through any suffering, mentally and/or physically? Who would choose this path, especially after seeing and hearing the horror stories? I believe you're either born that way or the other way(s). It's most certainly not a disorder, and it's no one's fault. It's just how things are gonna be. Nothing you can do or say.

 

[Nick]

You were born that way. The only thing you have a choice over is if you accept it or not, which is why I think that some people get the misconception that being gay is a choice. I think people who believe being gay is a choice are fools. That's like saying that you can choose who you're attracted to, which is silly. You don't just go into a room, and say "I want to be attracted to that person over there!" and then suddenly you're attracted to them.

 

[Massacre.]

Definitely born. I agree with ^. You can't choose just to be gay, straight, or bisexual. I know, for a fact that I am bisexual.

 

[~*!*~Tatsujin Gosuto~*!*~]

I think it's a choice due to your surroundings


:t354:TG

 

[Blue Nocturne]

Patchy beat me to it... and put it far more eloquently than I ever could. Who you're attracted to isn't a choice in the slightest, what is a choice is whether you choose to deny such feelings or accept them. You don't choose to be homosexual or bisexual (my personal favourite ;P) in the same way you don't choose to be straight or tall.

Having said that, I wish to avoid the term "Born This Way" at any cost.

In my opinion it's a mental disorder at birth, but I can't be sure about that since I never really do research on it. Either way, being homosexual is not right, there's definitely something wrong there.

I should be offended by this but I'm actually quite entertained at how bigoted it is.

 

[Alex]

It's interesting to me the number of people who think sexual orientation is genetic. I honestly think that it varies from case to case. There is no one answer, just like most things in life.

I believe that for certain people, such events have happened in their lives that cause sexual orientation to be a choice. And I prefer to think of it as a choice, myself. Everyone makes such a big deal out of sexual orientation, probably because everyone makes a huge deal out of romance itself. But who says you have to be attracted to one specific gender all your life? If there weren't such taboos and prejudices linked to homosexuality, if it was as much an accepted part of our lives as doing the groceries once a week, I am convinced that many more people would be open to the idea of relations with those of the same sex, and would routinely switch between the two genders, just for kicks. Essentially, if it were not tabooed, a large sum of the population would be bisexual. And then you'd always have a small percentage that obviously don't follow the trends and stick to a specific gender for whatever reason.

I prefer to think of it like this: All your life, have you liked one single colour only? Has one colour been your favourite colour since you can remember? Some of you, sure, maybe, and cool for you. But not me, and I'm willing to bet not most of you either. Why did that change? Red used to be your favourite colour, but now it's second-best to green. You can't explain it, you just prefer the shade, you like what it reminds you of, how it makes you feel. Liking a colour, liking anything, is an attraction. Now you see where I'm going with this. Sexual orientation is an attraction and it can change. Not overnight, definitely not, but it can change. And the only reason why it can change is because everyone assumes their child is straight from birth.

However, there are always and always will be cases that disprove my view. You can all promote the notion that sexual orientation is genetic, and I won't disagree (completely) because I used to think that way too. But I've thought about it and this is the conclusion I've come to.




tl;dr it's a choice.

 

[Taemin]

Born that way.

Never understood why some people think it's a choice, because why would some people choose something that causes pain, and drives some people to suicide? >_> I mean, really.

 

[Alice]

Neither.

Any person is simply the culmination of all of the events they've experienced in their life. Even their sexuality is shaped by people/things around them as they grow up.

 

[FreakyLocz14]

It's not a choice. Who would choose to be hated and discriminated against?

 

[professor plum]

tl;dr it's a choice.

So, when did you choose to be straight?????
I have never liked a girl in a romantic way.
Your color analogy does not work. At all. Color and who you love aren't the same thing.

 

[Renii]

.....
tl;dr it's a choice.

Way to go! Comparing sexual attraction to colour? Do you even compare your girlfriends to clothes? Buy them as you please and throw them away when they're out of fashion?
I'm disgusted :<
But... To each his own :D


I know for sure, no queer person can say that it's a choice. When does one choose to be straight? Or is the world even ready to accept it as a choice? There are still people like "Atomico" who just find it hard to accept homosexuality.
You're born gay, definitely.
I know for sure; my childhood was spent fighting bullies who called me a "weirdo", "gay", "sissy" or a girl. If I wasn't always gay (bisexual actually) then...

 

[Vrai]

I don't think you can just pick and choose things like that. And if you find yourself flip-flopping back and forth anyway I'd think you were bisexual or some other terminology that I probably am not familiar with. :x So yeah, I'm pretty sure you figure out your preferences rather than making a direct decision. You could say that's "being born with it" but at the same time I don't really believe that anything is predetermined - you just come into it on your own, I think.

 

[Alex]

So, when did you choose to be straight?????
I have never liked a girl in a romantic way.
Your color analogy does not work. At all. Color and who you love aren't the same thing.

I chose to be straight when I realized the two aspects of sexual attraction: Physical attraction, and emotional attraction. I can recognize good-looking boys, so that's half the problem solved there. Emotional attraction is no less harder to find, either. But I do not want to be emotionally attracted to any man, and therefore choose to be straight.

Good for you, maybe you're part of the exception. You're really not giving me enough to work with here to actually make a valid argument.

My colour analogy works just fine. Colour and who you love are the exact same thing when you break it down to what it is, and for that, I redirect you back to my original post.

Way to go! Comparing sexual attraction to colour? Do you even compare your girlfriends to clothes? Buy them as you please and throw them away when they're out of fashion?
I'm disgusted :<
But... To each his own :D


I know for sure, no queer person can say that it's a choice. When does one choose to be straight? Or is the world even ready to accept it as a choice? There are still people like "Atomico" who just find it hard to accept homosexuality.
You're born gay, definitely.
I know for sure; my childhood was spent fighting bullies who called me a "weirdo", "gay", "sissy" or a girl. If I wasn't always gay (bisexual actually) then...

Hmm.. well, yes, you could compare a girlfriend to clothes. I wouldn't, but one could. Especially in our teenage years, girlfriends come and go so easily, so I could see an analogy made there.
Be disgusted. I really could not give less of a crap. You're taking my argument way too seriously, as if I'm a homophobe of some sort. Just because I think it's a choice does not mean I'm against homosexuals and believe that certain homosexuals can just up and change their sexual preferences. Not at all what I said.

What I find hilarious is that I give an actual, detailed response of why I think it's a choice, and all you can come back with is "You're born gay, definitely." oh, damn I'm convinced. You're right I'm wrong.
Yeah and my childhood was spent playing Pokemon. Now I'm on a Pokemon forum. I really don't see your point. Just because someone treats you as something doesn't mean you are that thing. Grow a pair, seriously.

 

[poopnoodle]

i don't think it's a genetic condition, and i agree with some of (edit: all of, since i've seen his most recent post) what penatrait has to say. i see sexuality as more of a personal fetish than an encoded orientation, and i think the ideas that people are attracted to either one or the other and gender will define your love life are products of social upbringing. i don't think it's the type of attraction that can be easily altered but it differs from person to person, depending on their perspective and their romantic feelings for another. i've seen generally straight people develop attraction to people of their own gender (usually men in the locker room), sometimes because of romantic feelings. in this topic, people tend to exchange love and attraction as if they mean the same thing, but emotional attachment has more bearing on a meaningful, romantic relationship than physical attraction. like, i wouldn't pass a good romantic fling with a woman because i'm generally attracted to masculinity. i feel like i didn't really organize my thoughts well here but ah, i'm done typing

 

[Stash]

I'd like to think it is arguably genetic, hence 'born this way', but that would contradict a particular experience my brother had with homosexuality, so my final verdict would be that I seriously have no idea and cannot really fathom it.

The two posters above me make a valid point, though.

 

[Esper]

My colour analogy works just fine. Colour and who you love are the exact same thing when you break it down to what it is, and for that, I redirect you back to my original post.

Sexual attraction doesn't work the same way that 'attraction' to color works. First, there are more colors than there are sexes or genders. Or, more specifically, there are more views of colors (since you might call something blue what I would call turquoise, and so on) and 'shades of grey' as it were. Colors are also strictly visual whereas attraction to a person can involve multiple senses and more abstract ideas like personality. I'd also argue that people don't really have "favorite" colors as much as they have patterns of choosing certain colors because of habit or associations with other things (like how fast food is almost always colored in red and yellow) and that they would be more attracted to good color schemes and a general good artistic use of color, whatever color it may be, than to their preferred colors.

But in general I agree with you. Sort of. I think that orientation comes out (haha) in several ways and that no single one factor is solely responsible for everyone's orientation. I do think genetics play a big role though. I'm still open to the idea that people can 'choose' how they are attracted to people though I wouldn't want to use the word 'choose' since it implies it's a conscious decision. I don't think it is. If anything I'd say there is an element of association (in which case the color analogy is somewhat applicable) where something that is pleasing to a person get associated with a particular sex, or sexes. I suppose you could equate that to a fetish, but again I don't want to use that word because it carries a lot of baggage, though I personally don't have a problem with non-violent, consensual fetishes.

In general I'd think that all sexuality is some mishmash of genetics and environment. The only problem I'm having is why so many people end up becoming straight. I know we're a heteronormative society so there's the constant reinforcement of a female/male dichotomy, but that's so abstract that I have trouble seeing how it would affect someone's, er, mojo libido. I can only feel like there's a strong genetic factor which causes the majority of people to have a default "straight" orientation.

 

[Sydian]

I agree with lil Penatrait to some extent, after talking on MSN about this. Speaking of that, use some of those examples you used when talking to me. But anyway, I'm a bit in the middle. I think, in certain situations, it is a choice, but more often than not, then no, I don't think it's of that person's choosing. But you know, I don't think there's one definite answer to this tbh. But that makes it all the more fun to discuss, I reckon.

Edit: I don't wanna post again, but I just wanna say I agree fully with Klippy down below me here.

 

[Klippy]

I personally feel it's just part of who you are. It's not who you are, but it's part of what makes you, you. And whether it be how you're born or a choice that you date men or women, if you're happy with who you are, then that's all that matters in the world.

A family member of mine is gay and has been since a very young age. He didn't know he was, and was nearly engaged to a woman at one point. So do I think he chose to be gay? No, though I don't know whether it was because he realized he was or whether he was dating women to cover it up. Still. It makes me love him no less because of it, and that goes in regards to any relationship, whether friends or family. They're the same person they always were and always will be, but one trait has changed in the many that they have.

If someone else thinks it's a choice, then accept that and move on. It doesn't really affect your life by what they think, so why get up in arms about someone voicing their opinion in an opinion-orientated forum? If you don't like seeing other people post what they think, then go find somewhere else to frequent, because this obviously is a poor choice for you to be browsing in.