This thread is totally my kind of thread. It pretty much deals with my name, lol.
So sorry if the wall of text is annoying...
How open are you about your feelings?
I'm very closed off in terms of feelings. Part of it may be because I'm normally asocial.
It's not like I like to remain this way, but neither do I want to open up to people I don't like, or to people who do not open themselves to me or doesn't reciprocate my feelings.
Do you hold many secrets?
According to the definition of secret, it is something kept away from the public. In that case my life is full of secrets, because I don't just tell anybody a lot about myself.
But the more conventional meaning of secret is something that is deliberately kept hidden from public. In that case, I have my fair share of secrets, but I don't feel comfortable holding onto some of them.
In fact, I don't want most of my secrets to remain to me, but I really haven't found someone I can trust enough to tell everything about me.
Does it take you a long time to open up to people, or do you act the same around new friends as you do with friends you've had for a while?
It takes me a lot of time to open up to people.
But actually, time is not the main factor here. The main factor would be their personality, how much are they trustworthy, how close they are to me, and how much do I like them. If someone has a good and likable personality in my definition, and is very close to me and trustworthy, I would completely open up and be myself to them.
One more important thing that I forgot to mention is that accepting my true self for who I am is very necessary. I test people from time to time to see how they react to smaller doses of me opening up certain parts of myself. If they can't accept those smaller things, then I don't tell them anything else.
A big part of me getting close to someone deals with sharing my feelings, and the opposite is also true, so it's both easy or tough to achieve for someone right or wrong in my opinion.
If you aren't open, why?
Are you afraid people will judge you, or do you not want to burden other people with your problems?
Sometimes, afraid is what I am. Most of the times, it's more like I feel seriously uncomfortable about being open.
This is mostly due to the idea that people might or will surely judge me, and accepting me for who I am is a big part in me being open in the first place.
I'm actually okay being judged, but up to a very small level. And even with that small level of judgement, I expect someone to only say it once or twice, and then totally accept that side of mine and be okay with it.
What's your opinion on people who are outspoken about all their problems? Does it depend on how severe those problems are?
I feel kind of annoyed at people who are annoyed by other people opening up to them with the means of telling them about their problems. I understand a small fraction of such people talking about their problems could just be doing so because they seek attention, but since when is that a bad thing in small amounts? And people should always be open about sharing their problems, unless it burdens the person they are telling the problem to. If someone can't listen to your small problems, then I can't see them getting close to each other.
As for me, I love listening to other people's problems, because it makes me feel like they feel close enough to me to be comfortable in sharing their problems. Be it little or big, it can always become a reason to laugh off about, or give comfort or solution to someone in need.
What's your opinion on people who are completely closed off and don't talk to anyone at all?
As a person who is pretty closed off myself, I can't help but get interested about such people even on first look, unless other judgemental factors come into mind. But if it stays closed off, my initial interest fades away. I normally look forward to them opening up to me when I try to get close to them, because otherwise, I don't like it anymore.
So yeah, I like such people mainly because I can seriously relate to them, and find reasons for themselves to be closed off in my own mind. But I like such air of mystery only initially, and if they don't open up after my efforts of getting close, I'm no longer interested in that person.
Ultimately, do you think it's better to be more closed off, or more open?
I think if it was a near perfect world, where everyone was good like in the fairy tales, and everyone reciprocated and liked others, then being maximally open would be the best choice.
However, in the real world, I don't like being closed off, but I do that anyways because I know that most people are not even worth being told about myself, or due to the unwanted problems arising from it. Therefore, I believe that most closed off people are also that way due to similar or same reasons.
For such situations, and for this world, being closed off is a choice, one which we choose because we don't have anything better to choose. But for most cases, I think it's better to be more open.
Once again, I would like to say that again - being closed off is a choice for a reason, and that is good too, if they can eventually open up to the right types of people.
