Jamie Hubley, Gay 15-Year-Old Ottawa, Canada Teen Commits Suicide, Cites Depression,

[Sydian]

Now... to move onto my disgust with the media: Him being gay doesn't have anything to do with his suicide. The article portrayed as if he took his life because he couldn't find love, and didn't agree with society. It didn't really mention that he had any form of great torment, which would make that fact irrelevant. It seems the media feels they have to report on him just because he is gay.

I wondered this myself. Nothing in there was really about him being gay. The closest it got to that was that he wanted a boyfriend, but I mean, straight or gay, there are a lot of people that want a bf/gf. So yeah. The part about him being gay really isn't the kicker here. The depression seemed to get him, not anything pertaining to his sexuality.

 

[Mr. X]

So what. Another person off's themselves.

Happens numerous times, every day.

Only reason this was reported was because he was supposedly gay. Know why? Because that gets the views which for news groups means profit.

imo, not news worthy.

Know what is though? The fact that their are numerous gay teens who haven't killed themselves. That there are numerous teens who, unlike this waste of carbon, continue on through life no matter how hard things get. Those are the ones who deserve respect. This one, sad his circumstances were, is not deserving of anything.

There is only a couple of times where suicide is a solution, and this isn't one of them.

 

[(=Nemesis=)]

<snip>
There are numerous teens who, unlike this waste of carbon, continue on through life no matter how hard things get. Those are the ones who deserve respect. This one, sad his circumstances were, is not deserving of anything.

There is only a couple of times where suicide is a solution, and this isn't one of them.

Hey, I thought I was being a little harsh but... just because you hear about someone acting stupidly doesn't give you carte blanche to judge their total worth.

Also... hold on, doesn't being a "waste of carbon" constitute a perfect reason for suicide? You aren't even making internal logic.

 

[Mr. X]

It doesn't matter what he is worth. When he commits suicide, his previous worth has no matter. After all, if he doesn't care about his worth then why should I?

I call him a waste because of the effort his parents put into raising him, only for him to off himself. I'd list a few other things, but I don't feel like making myself seem like a complete *******.

Their are some topics that I can't talk about without getting harsh. Suicide is one of them.

(Ment to put this in previous post but decided on something else. Guess i'll post it now)
Anyway, you know what good this story is? You'll have depressed and/or gay teens who read this. Some of them will feel that no one cares of them. Some of the comments, like rip *insert name here* hope you find the peace you were looking for, will lead them to believe that more people will notice them if they kill themselves. Then that drives them to kill themselves.

 

[Shining Raichu]

Oh dear Mr. X, whatever will we do with you?

If any gay suicidal teens read this I would certainly hope that wishes of them finding peace after the fact of their death will not be taken as an advocation to follow in their footsteps. Indeed, I believe comments such as "so what? another teen kid has offed himself" are the ones that will be damaging to their self-worth. The fact that he is gay may well be why this is being publicised. So what? Does it make it less worth reporting? No. I've heard tons of teen bullying suicide stories that have not been LGBT related. This one happens to be.

Clearly from your comments you have no understanding of depression or how it affects the mind. Having never experienced depression, I do not either, which is why I would never attempt to judge Jamie or any other teen for having killed themselves after the fact. Until you have even a baseline level of understanding as to what he was going through, you have no right to make these insensitive and heartless comments. Shame on you.

 

[Mr. X]

If you are going to use my words against me, don't modify them. I said person, not teen or kid.

Anyway, I have a right to my opinion just as you do. They might not be the same, but thats ok because we are diffrent and have been raised with diffrent ideals.

As for understanding, I used to understand. That understanding is what lead to me having such heartless views on this particular subject.

Anyway, as for the finding peace part and how my views are coming across. My comments express hatred to suicide, not the reasons. That said, I think it better that a person finds peace in life rather then death.

 

[Esper]

Mr. X, I just hope you realize that when someone is seriously contemplating/attempting suicide (and isn't suffering from some long, painful and incurable disease or something along those lines) that they are suffering from a mental illness. Their thinking is impaired. Depression does that to you. I would hope that you (or anyone) would have some sympathy for them.

As for the idea that publicizing teen suicides might encourage others to all do it for attention, I don't think it will. I can't discount the possibility because when when you're at that point where you think suicide is an option you aren't thinking clearly, but every time I read about another person committing suicide it mentions the pain it causes people and how much people wish it hadn't happened and how awful it is.

Making these things known will help because people who have friends and family members who might be suicidal might learn something or take that extra step toward helping. The knowledge of these unfortunate deaths will far outweigh any potential harm.

 

[2Cool4Mewtwo]

I agree with Mr. X. to an extent in this situation, but then I'm not going to call him worthless and "waste of oxygen" nor will I ever think so (though I will contend that it's not worthy of a national news). It's a sad story, but sad only because these things happen too often, not just because the guy committed suicide. (there are deeper concerns, but I'm not getting into it)

It may have a positive effect on someone in a similar situation, but I've never been depressed in my life so only God knows.

[EDIT] Looking from a bullying perspective, it is another whole issue that I will not be getting into.

 

[-ty-]

I agree with Mr. X. to an extent in this situation, but then I'm not going to call him worthless and "waste of oxygen" nor will I ever think so (though I will contend that it's not worthy of a national news). It's a sad story, but sad only because these things happen too often, not just because the guy committed suicide. (there are deeper concerns, but I'm not getting into it)

It may have a positive effect on someone in a similar situation, but I've never been depressed in my life so only God knows.

[EDIT] Looking from a bullying perspective, it is another whole issue that I will not be getting into.

I think that there is a problem here because this type of thing happens so often. I am glad that the media has chosen not to ignore the frequent gay teen suicides that were instigated by bullying. It makes us more aware of the severity of the situation; it's not something that happens once in a blue moon, but rather, it something that is happening quite frequently.

Also, people do not choose to kill themselves on a whim, they have a chemical imbalance.
"According to a 2004 report distributed by the National Institute of Mental Health, research shows that risk factors for suicide include depression and other mental disorders, and substance-abuse disorders (often in combination with other mental disorders). More than 90 percent of people who die by suicide have these risk factors. Examples of stressors are, family violence, sexual orientation confusion, physical and sexual abuse and being the victim of bullying." (American Psychological Association)

You cannot choose to have a mental disorder or depression, nor can you choose to be bullied or not.

As mandatory reporters, when there is family violence, the school/government required by LAW to step in and protect the child. When there is physical/sexual abuse the school/government is required by LAW to step in and protect the child. When there is gay bullying, the school/government does NOT have to deal with the issue; therefore, no one is there to help at least combat the stressors of bullying.

 

[Blue Nocturne]

Alley Cat hit the nail square on the head for me. I have sympathy for most cases of teen suicide, but I have little to none for this guy.

To my knowledge, I'm the only non-heterosexual guy in my school, I'm certainly the only one who's open about it, because I would almost certainly have been shipped by now (having said that, I haven't even met a lot of the other new Sixth Formers). For at least two years I've dealt with homophobia, crushes that could never be anything else and a little harassment here and there (2x the time he's suffered, but who's counting?!). Unlike this guy, I've never gone to anti-depressants, therapists or whatever. It's sad he's managed to fall into such a steep depression cycle, but with the attitude he seemed to have, he brought it on himself.

 

[-ty-]

Alley Cat hit the nail square on the head for me. I have sympathy for most cases of teen suicide, but I have little to none for this guy.

To my knowledge, I'm the only non-heterosexual guy in my school, I'm certainly the only one who's open about it, because I would almost certainly have been shipped by now (having said that, I haven't even met a lot of the other new Sixth Formers). For at least two years I've dealt with homophobia, crushes that could never be anything else and a little harassment here and there (2x the time he's suffered, but who's counting?!). Unlike this guy, I've never gone to anti-depressants, therapists or whatever. It's sad he's managed to fall into such a steep depression cycle, but with the attitude he seemed to have, he brought it on himself.

So because you didn't commit suicide, anyone else that does should not have sympathy. Obviously this happens often, you and myself do not know the full circumstances of the kid's situation. Someone like you may not have suffered from depression or mental illness because of different situations, upbringing, or genetics, but that doesn't mean that someone else has not suffered those ailments along with the stressors of bullying in which you may have undergone. His "bad attitude" is blatantly a symptom of the depression he suffered, and again, no one chooses to be depressed.

 

[Livewire]

Once again, I am shocked by the lack of empathy we have for other human beings, let alone other children. So charming.

 

[Sydian]

To my knowledge, I'm the only non-heterosexual guy in my school, I'm certainly the only one who's open about it, because I would almost certainly have been shipped by now (having said that, I haven't even met a lot of the other new Sixth Formers). For at least two years I've dealt with homophobia, crushes that could never be anything else and a little harassment here and there (2x the time he's suffered, but who's counting?!). Unlike this guy, I've never gone to anti-depressants, therapists or whatever. It's sad he's managed to fall into such a steep depression cycle, but with the attitude he seemed to have, he brought it on himself.

Depression isn't just something you can slink out of. Depression, in a sense, is the bad attitude. It's hard to tell yourself "things are going to be okay" everyday, when deep down, you feel like you're just lying to yourself. So saying he brought it on himself is incorrect. That's like saying he decided one day that he wanted to have depression and it magically came to him. Such is not the case.

 

[-Jared-]

If we are gonna get into depression here, maybe, just maybe, this'll help some people understand it.

Spoiler:

 

[Blue Nocturne]

Depression isn't just something you can slink out of. Depression, in a sense, is the bad attitude. It's hard to tell yourself "things are going to be okay" everyday, when deep down, you feel like you're just lying to yourself. So saying he brought it on himself is incorrect. That's like saying he decided one day that he wanted to have depression and it magically came to him. Such is not the case.

You can't just slink out of it, but similarly it's unlikely to just slink into it. From what I can tell, his depression seems to have been caused by bullying and harassment over a long period of time. He doesn't seem to have tried to resolve the problems when they started. To say he brought it on himself was, admittedly, quite cruel and a bad choice of words, but there's plenty of options and support for young gay teens. It's a shame he didn't find them.

 

[-ty-]

You can't just slink out of it, but similarly it's unlikely to just slink into it. From what I can tell, his depression seems to have been caused by bullying and harassment over a long period of time. He doesn't seem to have tried to resolve the problems when they started. To say he brought it on himself was, admittedly, quite cruel and a bad choice of words, but there's plenty of options and support for young gay teens. It's a shame he didn't find them.

Depending on your family genetics, many people are prone to "slinking" into depression. That is even without the presence of stressors like bullying.

How do you know he hasn't tried to resolve the issue; how would he do so?

The school doesn't have to do anything about the bullying (stressors).
The antidepressants/therapy could not stop the chronic depression instigated by the stressors/genetics/family issues or the combination of these things.

What was he supposed to do? How do you force someone to stop verbally bullying you?

 

[(=Nemesis=)]

You don't. You, in a sense, adjust your reality such that you can largely ignore being bullied. When I was at school it helped to compartmentalise being bullied as an unavoidable, unpleasant part of living with other humans. Without doing that, the fear and anticipation was becoming a problem.

And this guy thought that finding a boyfriend was going to solve all this? OK, so, dropping the gender-bending for a Common Sense Analogy, if I were a morbidly depressed 15 year old, finding a girlfriend would hardly solve anything. Being morbid and suicidal and relating it freely in an attempt to find sympathy would always backfire, for a start. Also it's inherently selfish. I want to find a girlfriend so that I can feel better. So that I can have someone to comfort me. I. Me. Me me me I mine. That's not how love works, sorry.

 

[Alley Cat]

^ You have his intentions a bit wrong. He didn't want someone to comfort him. He was lonely, he never really got on a deep level with anyone. He was missing that connection, and that could be part of what drove him to sadness.

I just.. don't see why he would let people bother him. You have your life, live it however you want. He listed of more friends than I could, and I'm pretty sure that he said parents, with an s. I can see where his sadness is coming from, and I can feel his pain. It isn't that I'm condemning him for killing himself, I'm just tired of how people(in general) aren't strong enough to stand on their own.

Maybe it's just me... but my depression isn't extremely hard to get over. When I get sad and mopey, I get up and do stuff, get my mind off it. It get's hard, and then get's harder, and then when you're just about to give up, it gets easy again. You have the hang of it. This was a tragic loss, he could have lived for so much more. That is what makes this a sad topic. The fact that so many people these days are all just quitting when it gets too tough is just pissing me off! Urgh.

 

[(=Nemesis=)]

The fact that so many people these days are all just quitting when it gets too tough is just pissing me off! Urgh.

You said it, Chewie.

I do think, though, that if people thought less about themselves and their own problems, and instead tried to help other people through theirs, maybe there would be less to be miserable about... or at least, less time to be miserable in. Not necessarily a one-size-fits-all solution that can be scientifically proven. But for the vast majority of people who feel lonely or depressed...

... maybe it's because I get a kick out of cheering up the glum, that I say it? I'm sure I'm not the only one.

 

[Mr. X]

To say he brought it on himself was, admittedly, quite cruel and a bad choice of words, but there's plenty of options and support for young gay teens. It's a shame he didn't find them.

He didn't find them because he didn't attempt to find them.

Well, then again, he was more concerned about solutions near him. Had he truly wanted help, he would have looked out farther for it.