Long Distance Relationships

[Torchick08]

im in that state of mind where "im just not ready for a relationship" so my story goes...

Boyfriend(BF) - meet in real life. he was my first everything you can be. off and on for 5 years. he lived 40 mins away. distance wasn't a problem he would pick me up or i would drive there. we just never "clicked" but since he was "the first" i really tried.

moving on. 5 years coming to an end. i meet this girl on line shes from Tennessee. call her girlfriend#1 (GF 1) instant click. i stop talking to BF because i meet her and its bam the whole reason i was never successful with previous relationships. (there were more before BF just none significant) me and GF 1 talk from april till september getting to know each other more and more. sept-october is the whole "more then friends stage" it was constant texts and skype video calls. then its over?
honestly my fault. i get bored... so fling with random guy friend.
months go by and its march.. skype call with ex GF 1 for her birthday. i still get the butterflies and we still "click" thats never changed. its why shes still in my life...
after her birthday day..
i then meet GF 2 online. it started out as a random chat one night on whisper (i do not recommend this app at all...) her post (married lesbian looking for clean chat) me being hung up on GF 1 and just wanting to chat with other lesbians respond to her whisper. shes been drinking messages get flirty and well yeah... i feel horrible because bam i know shes married and WTH was i thinking? end up still chatting with her.. we agree just clean friendship... lol that didnt work at all... its july.. she asks me to be her mistress.. i agree. i really like this chick her marriage sucks. her wife is ashamed to even say shes married to a woman.. ugh... anyways she asks me to come to Ottawa to spend the weekend with her in october (im from Alberta) money is not an issue. i left her at the end of august. i just couldnt physically commit to being a mistress in real life.

online you make it work for you. i didn't care about her wife cause i didn't know her plus she was not giving her the attention GF2 obviously needed hence where i came in... even GF 1 we still talk we've been talking now for the past year and half.. she still confuses me and my emotions i think i still hope for that to work out even though it never will... GF 1 did serious damage to my heart. GF 2 fixed it and i broke hers she was so worried i was the one that was going to get hurt cause you know her being married and all... then at the end of august i just woke up one morning and said goodbye it wasnt working out. (of course what i wanted to say was for her to leave her wife and be with me but obviously i couldn't say that because well thats asking her to leave her life that she made for herself all before even meeting me and leave her city for what me? in debt, no particular want to do anything in life but work for now closet lesbian living in a small town... yeah shes better off without me in her life.)

in real life i just don't connect with people. im from a small town but i travel around alot so i do meet lots of people i make friends easily but deeper? there is no one i click with.

online i find it more convenient (yes i sound like a douche) timezones aren't a problem for me, travel isn't a problem its more of a question of why bother? im pretty unmotivated to go meet someone online because thats just a lot of effort.

Would i do another long distance relationship? YES
i come with warning signs, and 0 motivation to hop a plane and meet up.. but i do give it 100% they dont even have to be canadian...

 

[Imperator161]

If I had never met the individual in person, I wouldn't date them, regardless of whether they were from this country or a different one. It's fine to start chatting with someone online, but I think it's important to meet them in person before committing to a relationship. People can pretend to be a lot of things they're not on the internet.

As for long-distance relationships in general, I'm not sure. I think the relationship would need to be pretty solid prior to the "distancing" event, so that both parties could judge their relative commitment and that sort of thing. I've always been a little skeptical of long-distance relationships, but I know some people who have made them work really well, so it really depends on the circumstances.

 

[Raigeki]

My girlfriend is from Japan, and I am living in Europe. We have known each other for about 10 months now, and I plan on going back to Japan again next summer. Possibly even staying for an entire year.

It's difficult. We want to kiss, hug and hold hands, but we can't. It makes us a little sad, but I am happy because I know the day will come.
She gives me confidence. She makes me believe in myself. She made me learn so many new things. I can save up money because of her. I know how to deal with girls now. She made me realise so many things, so even if it doesn't work out between us, I gained a lot from the experience.

We always have a great time on Skype, and that's the closest we can get to being together until next summer. Travelling is expensive, but I can be patient for her.

 

[Megan]

I can't really tell, since I never was in a relationship. I think, both would be nice, of course not at the same time, because that would kinda defeat the purpose of a relationship in general, at least in my opinion.

You can't tell until you try it yourself, I suppose. ^^

 

[Amaruuk]

Maybe some people could pull it off, I just don't see myself ever agreeing to something like that. I've spent my adult life starved for hugs enough (like seriously I might get hugged by actual humans like 5 times in a year unless I have a boyfriend or particularly huggy IRL friend who is able to hang out), especially after college since almost everyone is gone and I myself am moving states again this coming spring. It would just be mind-blowingly depressing to have a boyfriend but still have no one to hold and be close with. Plus, you just can't know through the internet all you can learn face-to-face about a person. It's just words and probably Skype, and what you know will always be a shell of who they truly are, unless it's someone you know IRL first and then you had to be separated because of a job or military duty or something like that, in which case it's up to the parties involved to make a decision. I had a relationship 8 years ago that started as an online long-distance thing but within a couple months I was moving to where he lived anyway for college so it didn't stay like that for long. The relationship fell through for other reasons.

 

[rescuecp]

I was just coming on PokeCommunity to post a thread about looking for someone who likes Pokemon. xD In my opinion long distance relationships will work if you two really do love each other - in the end you can meet and be together forever! <3 Long distance relationships are a good way to see if two people work out or not without as much irl heartbreak if they don't work out.