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Most Private Thing You'll Admit

Uh...my big secret is that for some reason I see myself as ugly. I just feel that everyone (especially children) stares at me because of that. I know they don't, and probably aren't even looking at me to begin with, but I still can't shake that perception.
 
I'm really unhappy with my life in the United States and the thought of living here for the rest of my life upsets me. I feel like people here are too judgmental and afraid of being different than what society tells them they should be. A lot of people I know act like mindless drones, conforming to the new standards and shunning those who don't. I've only lived in one town for my entire life, so that could just be how people act here, but I highly doubt that.

I don't know exactly where I'd go if I did decide to move away from the US after college, but at this point, I feel like a lot of alternatives would be better or at least give me a different outlook on life.
 
I may have self harmed but I've never tried to kill myself because I know If have a high chance of success considering I own my own firearm. The thing about suicide is it doesn't take the pain away it just transfers it to a multitude of people around you and who knew you in real life. I think I've threatened to kill myself, but actually loading up some jacketed hollow points into my firearm and shooting myself, it'll never happen. I use my gun for shooting beer cans and that's all it will ever be used for. I don't even consider carrying it for hypothetical self defense scenarios since the consequences can be rather, uh, permanent.

I use to be involved in the drug trade as a small time drug dealer. I got humiliated on national TV on a low rated TV court show. I have depression, I have PTSD. As someone who is very sexually repressed despite having a very strong sex drive, I never discuss my fetishes, even in threads like these, for now prostitutes seem to hold my interest for having women in my life despite never actually getting one (that could all change with my trip to Amsterdam next month)
 
Sometimes I only have 4 of my 5 a day. that was in bad taste, it's good there's a thread here to let people get stuff off their chest.

As for me, the only private thing I have to share is that I suffer from crippling anxiety attacks from time to time. They really are the worst thing ever. :( but I've gone on to learn that eventually they do pass and everything goes back to normal, so it's all good.

I also suffered from acute depression when my parents divorced along with several other things. I know these things aren't realllllly private etc but where I'm from if people knew about it all I'd get ♥♥♥♥♥ed about and ripped to shreds about it all, which is quite sad really.
 
The biggest one would probably be my autism because there's so many people who are such ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥s about it. I could give examples but yeah, I don't want to make myself upset.

I notice it online a lot, people using "Autistic" as an insult and such, it just gets to me.
 
I have an irrational fear of elevators. I got stuck in one once, because of too much people. It was hot and crowded, and luckily we were able to get out after a short while. The incident was short, but short enough to make me feel the trauma. Up to this day, I'd rather take the stairs than ride an elevator.
.
 
I'm scared of asbestos. Well, actually, it's a mix of fear and fascination. I've done Google image searches of asbestos and products made out of asbestos. Some of the images feature asbestos insulation in varying stages of deterioration. Also, Christmas snow used to be made from asbestos.

When I was in elementary school (I don't remember what grade I was in), my class walked past one set of double doors. On one door, there was a sign that said: "Caution: Asbestos". The doors were open and there pipes everywhere along the ceiling; I guess they were wrapped in asbestos insulation.

There's a shopping center not too far from my house, and part of it needed to be renovated. It was fenced off, with "Danger: Asbestos" signs along the fences.

I even had a dream one time of seeing containers labeled "Asbestos" as far as the eye could see. Asbestos really gives me the creeps.
 
Oh yeah, i need to get some more stuff off my chest:

1.I'm allergic to pidgeons, yes the nice cute lil pidgeons. If one feather touches me for a while that part would turn red. I live in semi-constant paranoia because of it.

2.I have some sort of sleeping paralysis. You know when you dream you fall to the ground and wake up right before going splat? Well, i feel myself hit the ground and have some sort of seizure for about 0.5-1 second. It's really unpleasent and i hate it.

3.I started a chat with this girl a few years back and got a crush on her, until she came out to me as a lesbian and started a relationship with her best friend. I find it totally okay but still felt weird that somebody came out of the closet to me.
 
I have to eat each food on my plate one at a time so if there chicken and rice I start with one eat all of it then move to the other. I also don't like my food touching... But I don't mind when foods are meant to be together like pizza and shepherds pie.

I like to smoke weed but only you guys and certain friends know that... My family (well most of them) would kill me.
 
Being bored in pain at 2:30AM, and actually needing sleep because I have an exam in 5.5 hours has reminded me of this: I had an emergency surgery nearly 10 years ago during the Christmas time that inevitably resulted in one of my ovaries being removed so now I only have the left one. Makes me scared out of my life whenever I get abdominal pains, thinking that it has something to do with the one I have left.
 
Well I don't openly admit my secrets but whatever.....

I never ever see a horror movie or read a horror book. Even tiny things like those creep me out. The first time I played my Minecraft, I got terrified by the Zombies and dreamt they were getting me in the night.
 
MewtwoGaara said:
I'm scared of asbestos. Well, actually, it's a mix of fear and fascination. I've done Google image searches of asbestos and products made out of asbestos. Some of the images feature asbestos insulation in varying stages of deterioration. Also, Christmas snow used to be made from asbestos.

When I was in elementary school (I don't remember what grade I was in), my class walked past one set of double doors. On one door, there was a sign that said: "Caution: Asbestos". The doors were open and there pipes everywhere along the ceiling; I guess they were wrapped in asbestos insulation.

There's a shopping center not too far from my house, and part of it needed to be renovated. It was fenced off, with "Danger: Asbestos" signs along the fences.

I even had a dream one time of seeing containers labeled "Asbestos" as far as the eye could see. Asbestos really gives me the creeps.
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You know what? I've had the same fear for years.
 
Any time I go poop I have to have either my laptop or my DS/Ipod and I sit there for usually at least half an hour, one time I sat on a toilet for 2 hours. When I was 4 I fell asleep on the toilet and my graandma has a picture of me asleep with a way too big shirt on falling into the toilet because I was too small for the toilet.

I think pregnant girls are very attractive, but not when they're close to giving birth, somewhere in the middle is nice.
 
O'aka XXIII said:
Any time I go poop I have to have either my laptop or my DS/Ipod and I sit there for usually at least half an hour, one time I sat on a toilet for 2 hours. When I was 4 I fell asleep on the toilet and my graandma has a picture of me asleep with a way too big shirt on falling into the toilet because I was too small for the toilet.

I think pregnant girls are very attractive, but not when they're close to giving birth, somewhere in the middle is nice.
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I laughed really hard at this for whatever reason, but also you should know I always take my 3DS to the bathroom so you're not alone.

I also still pick my nose sometimes and I'm turning 22 in 10 days.
 
Kouzan said:
I laughed really hard at this for whatever reason, but also you should know I always take my 3DS to the bathroom so you're not alone.

I also still pick my nose sometimes and I'm turning 22 in 10 days.
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I still pick my nose also. Sometimes there's just those ones that just won't come out by blowing and you're just like "ugh how did you get up in there" as the booger is forcibly stretching your nostril out because it's so massive and then you just stick your finger in there and you're just digging and trying but getting nothing. And then you finally get it and you feel so accomplished until you see like 20 people staring at you like "what the actual hell". And then you wipe it on your desk and flick it at one of them.
 
I've had two dream in a row about being tied up somewhere and having my kidnappers obsess over my body and face and call me cute and stuff to tease me and threaten me.

...I kinda like it.
 
I am having sexual relations with the president.
Sometimes I like to be fat and go get fast food and then feel ashamed and hide the wrappers in my car even though no one cares.

Eevee said:
I've had two dream in a row about being tied up somewhere and having my kidnappers obsess over my body and face and call me cute and stuff to tease me and threaten me.

...I kinda like it.
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Most Private Thing You'll Admit
 
I'll admit that I take sleeping pills in order to fall asleep at night. Sometimes it sucks to be a nightowl. :/
 
Orpheus said:
Well, Damn, after KhiliaGro admited that I might as well admit something...
I'm actually obsessed with plushies, yes plushies, you know? Those stuffed pieces of fabric? I even talked to sheep about them...
That must sound weird comeing from a 14 year-old male.
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I like plushies too, and hell, I'm 18

Majestic Electric said:
I'll admit that I take sleeping pills in order to fall asleep at night. Sometimes it sucks to be a nightowl. :/
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same man, I need to take some melatonin or something
 
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