Uhh, ok I don't particularly dislike the fact that I am an a-hole, but I do dislike the fact that I really don't have the ability to like certain people. I'm talking about even making an effort to make it seem that way. If I don't like a person, I have no willingness to attempt seeing the positive. The best example I have right now is this one girl I work with. The way she works does not jive well with the way I do, and I rarely agree with her chosen task at hand. She makes decisions I literally cringe at. But I'm not her boss and, putting myself in her shoes, if my equal colleague was telling me what to do I'd go ape****. So I keep my own peeves inside, 'cause I know it won't matter by the time I clock out. But as a result, I don't act friendly to her. I'm not rude to her, or demean or mock her. I civilly ignore her presence. But on the flip side, that hatred of other people does make the people I do love shine bright. Love is, among other things, acceptance of negative qualities.
Umm, second poop thing about me is my lack of motivation and constant self-doubt. I'm one of those people that want to be immediately good at something for my own ego's sake. And putting myself in a social setting where I feel the need to prove myself (ie. career) really freaks me out. And those negative feelings make me lose motivation, and overall make me feel apathetic about life. Which is aaaawful.