Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Legend and Song (T) (OOC/SU)

[funnyfunfunmoo]

snowflake

name: morgan

age:17

species: dewott

gender: male

level:40

history: when morgan was little he lived with his mother and his little sister but one day a team of evil nidokings attacked there villige they destroyed everthing they killed all his freinds and his mother but morgan protected his sister but the injuries he took on that day ment that he couldnt evolve and he lost one of his scalp chops

him and his sister lucy didn't know what to do. morgan made a house out off wood to stay in but they had no food and no water so morgan had to steal and fight for food and water morgan and lucy have traveled to 18 different town getting chased out from all of them becuse of all the stealing untill they came across a town called bell town and thats were they live right know.

Personality: morgan is kind hearted and nice but he would do anything to protect his sister.

status: sought of a criminal

moveset: water pulse, aqua jet, razor shell, hydro pump

notes: is looking for a rescue team so he can do good and earn money to buy things for his sister

 

[PokeGirlJade]

snowflake

name: morgan

age:17

species: dewott

gender: male

level:40

history: when morgan was little he lived with his mother and his little sister but one day a team of evil nidokings attacked there villige they destroyed everthing they killed all his freinds and his mother but morgan protected his sister but the injuries he took on that day ment that he couldnt evolve and he lost one of his scalp chops

him and his sister lucy didn't know what to do. morgan made a house out off wood to stay in but they had no food and no water so morgan had to steal and fight for food and water morgan and lucy have traveled to 18 different town getting chased out from all of them becuse of all the stealing untill they came across a town called bell town and thats were they live right know.

Personality: morgan is kind hearted and nice but he would do anything to protect his sister.

status: sought of a criminal

moveset: water pulse, aqua jet, razor shell, hydro pump

notes: is looking for a rescue team so he can do good and earn money to buy things for his sister

I'm sorry, but I can't accept you just yet.

1. You need to use proper grammar. Capitalize words, fix run-on sentences, etc.
2. You're missing a word after "snowflake". Check every rule again, please.
3. The level is a bit high for his age. Usually a level that high means someone who has had training for a long time. Morgan sounds like he's had to scrap a few times for food, but not exactly train.
4. The personality is pretty short. I'm not asking for an entire essay about his personality, but a paragraph would be nice.
5. Please refrain from posting in the IC thread until your character has been approved. If you have a question, ask in this thread or private/visitor message the Game Master (the person who runs the roleplay). For this roleplay, that would be me. Also, sometimes you have to be a little patient when it comes to waiting for your OOC/SU to be approved. Sometimes it take a few hours, or even a few days.

If you have anymore questions, you can ask them here, or you can VM/PM me. Thank you.

 

[Umbre]

Snowflake Storm

Name: Umbra
Age: Teen, 17
Species: Umbreon
Gender: Female
Level: 30
Personality: She's cold and shallow, and she likes to appear weaker than she is. After all, what kind of criminal actually advertises all of their weaknesses. She has certain soft spots; namely, she loves fire and crystals, and becomes so entranced by these that she loses the will to attack. She's not rash, and gas a healthy amount of common sense for her age. She hates everything about water, and if it weren't for the fact that she needs it to survive she'd avoid it like the plague. 
History: Umbra was born and raised in a traveling band of Eeveelution gypsies. She was originally called Rymi. Even as an Eevee she had an unusual taste for fire and gems; everyone assumed she would choose a Fire Stone for her evolution ceremony. Even so, when the time came she didn't accept an evolution stone, with the excuse that she wasn't ready yet. This was unusual, and since the gypsies liked unusual things, they accepted it openly. Umbra evolved into an Umbreon one night without warning, and became the single member of her species in the caravan. She changed her name to Umbra. 
One night, Umbra got tired of traveling like this, and snatched a pretty bracelet from the leader. After that, she left of her own accord, the beautiful chimes of Bell Town leading her on. A town that made such beautiful noise, she reasoned, was a rich town. She had no money, so she pawned off the bracelet she still had, getting herself a hefty sum of money. With that, she bought a diamond necklace and enough food for a week.
Then, her career of crime really began. She lurked just outside town, ambushing travelers and stealing money or food from them. All of this happened at night, of course, so when she went into Bell Town to buy things she was never called out. Then came the turning point: Umbra was too bold, and attacked in broad daylight. This Pokemon was much to strong for her, and she was not only defeated, but reported, and driven off. The object that gives her away is the gaudy diamond necklace she wears, and the plain bag of whatever she owns at the moment, so when she doesn't have those, she realized she's in a kind of disguise. She's less likely to attack anyone now, but is still considered a criminal.  
Status: Criminal
Moveset: Pursuit, Quick Attack, Confuse Ray, Hyper Beam
Notes: Depends on what you want to know. I can probably explain some stuff in-RP.

 

[PokeGirlJade]

Name: Umbra
Age: Teen, 17
Species: Umbreon
Gender: Female
Level: 30
Personality: She's cold and shallow, and she likes to appear weaker than she is. After all, what kind of criminal actually advertises all of their weaknesses. She has certain soft spots; namely, she loves fire and crystals, and becomes so entranced by these that she loses the will to attack. She's not rash, and gas a healthy amount of common sense for her age. She hates everything about water, and if it weren't for the fact that she needs it to survive she'd avoid it like the plague. 
History: Umbra was born and raised in a traveling band of Eeveelution gypsies. She was originally called Rymi. Even as an Eevee she had an unusual taste for fire and gems; everyone assumed she would choose a Fire Stone for her evolution ceremony. Even so, when the time came she didn't accept an evolution stone, with the excuse that she wasn't ready yet. This was unusual, and since the gypsies liked unusual things, they accepted it openly. Umbra evolved into an Umbreon one night without warning, and became the single member of her species in the caravan. She changed her name to Umbra. 
One night, Umbra got tired of traveling like this, and snatched a pretty bracelet from the leader. After that, she left of her own accord, the beautiful chimes of Bell Town leading her on. A town that made such beautiful noise, she reasoned, was a rich town. She had no money, so she pawned off the bracelet she still had, getting herself a hefty sum of money. With that, she bought a diamond necklace and enough food for a week.
Then, her career of crime really began. She lurked just outside town, ambushing travelers and stealing money or food from them. All of this happened at night, of course, so when she went into Bell Town to buy things she was never called out. Then came the turning point: Umbra was too bold, and attacked in broad daylight. This Pokemon was much to strong for her, and she was not only defeated, but reported, and driven off. The object that gives her away is the gaudy diamond necklace she wears, and the plain bag of whatever she owns at the moment, so when she doesn't have those, she realized she's in a kind of disguise. She's less likely to attack anyone now, but is still considered a criminal.  
Status: Criminal
Moveset: Pursuit, Quick Attack, Confuse Ray, Hyper Beam
Notes: Depends on what you want to know. I can probably explain some stuff in-RP.

Very nice SU. You are accepted!

 

[zapdos926]

Just tossing it out there again, I'm willing to take requests for your character or team to be drawn.

example

BTW, Pokegirl, you're a good artist

 

[luigimario84]

Uh and whats happening to Cameron? Hes just lying there.

 

[PokeGirlJade]

Just tossing it out there again, I'm willing to take requests for your character or team to be drawn.

example

BTW, Pokegirl, you're a good artist

Aw, thanks ^^. I appreciate that. You're pretty good too.

Uh and whats happening to Cameron? Hes just lying there.

Hmm...well, that's for you to decide. He could get up and walk away...try to attack again...or something else...whatever you want him to do.

 

[luigimario84]

Could I have somebody lock team aura away? This is part of an idea I just came up with. Also this SU has something to do with it.




Name: Luke
Age: 20
Species: Zoroark
Gender: Male
Level: 50
Personality: Luke is a very stealthy type. As he is a Zoroark he can change his shape which helps him sneak around. He is very calm and helps out friends in need. But he is still a criminal. Unluckily whenever he changes there is always the same scar on his forehead making it easy for people to notice something wrong if they know about him.
History: He has been a criminal for a very long time and moved to Bell Town hoping that nobody would know him as one. He got caught stealing by officer Magnezone and was thrown into jail. All that is known about before this is he was a former member of team aura.
Status: Criminal
Moveset: Dark Pulse, Shadow Claw, Night Slash, Shadow Punch
Notes: He has a scar on his head that always stays there even if he transforms.

 

[PokeGirlJade]

Could I have somebody lock team aura away? This is part of an idea I just came up with. Also this SU has something to do with it.




Name: Luke
Age: 20
Species: Zoroark
Gender: Male
Level: 50
Personality: Luke is a very stealthy type. As he is a Zoroark he can change his shape which helps him sneak around. He is very calm and helps out friends in need. But he is still a criminal. Unluckily whenever he changes there is always the same scar on his forehead making it easy for people to notice something wrong if they know about him.
History: All that is known is he was an old member of team aura.
Status: Criminal
Moveset: Dark Pulse, Shadow Claw, Night Slash, Shadow Punch
Notes: He has a scar on his head that always stays there even if he transforms.

Sure. However, I can't accept the character yet. Everything is good except for the history's length. I understand if you don't want anybody to know Luke's past, but it's still pretty short. If you don't want to describe his past just yet, why not tell about something he did recently? Did he happen to move into a town? He's a criminal, did he steal something? Hurt somebody?

 

[luigimario84]

Edited it so he has a little bit more history.

 

[PokeGirlJade]

Hmm, well, the history is still short, but I'll go ahead and accept you. Perhaps we shall learn in the RP his past. He seems like an interesting character.

 

[luigimario84]

Luke was the one speaking. Cameron jumped off his back into a bush to hide and Luke dived on Ateos and rolled around to confuse Jam to try make him not know who was who.

 

[miltankRancher]

I have done posting! Sorry for the delay, I waited if someone would post again, but reading it, it seemed that Zoro and the others have posted already. Sorry!

 

[Popsicle]

Snowflake Storm
Name: Team Hurricane
Leader: Age 17, Jessie the Cherrim.
Goal: To stop evil. Will do any missions.
Members: Age 22, Brock the Marowak, Age 29, Alex the Chandelure, Age 19, Rosie the Altaria
Notes: Jessie is Level 47. The rest of the team is Level 45. Jessie is very hyper and cheerful. She spent her whole life training with her father. Brock is very emotionless and sometimes mean. He likes to train in a private cave. Alex is usually happy but sometimes he will get very mad. Alex likes to listen to music. Rosie loves to fly and has a crush on Brock. She usually gets very nervous but she loves adventuring.

 

[Kikpanther]

OO. Sorry I forgot to come over here.

A virus got onto my computer and I had to turn it into Best Buy so I won't be able to finish anything on my bio very soon. I should get it back by Christmas, but I don't know. :(

 

[PokeGirlJade]

OO. Sorry I forgot to come over here.

A virus got onto my computer and I had to turn it into Best Buy so I won't be able to finish anything on my bio very soon. I should get it back by Christmas, but I don't know. :(

That's okay, I understand. I hope your computer gets fixed soon!

Snowflake Storm
Name: Team Hurricane
Leader: Age 17, Jessie the Cherrim.
Goal: To stop evil. Will do any missions.
Members: Age 22, Brock the Marowak, Age 29, Alex the Chandelure, Age 19, Rosie the Altaria
Notes: Jessie is Level 47. The rest of the team is Level 45. Jessie is very hyper and cheerful. She spent her whole life training with her father. Brock is very emotionless and sometimes mean. He likes to train in a private cave. Alex is usually happy but sometimes he will get very mad. Alex likes to listen to music. Rosie loves to fly and has a crush on Brock. She usually gets very nervous but she loves adventuring.

Nice SU, but I'd like you to make a character SU for Jessie. You don't have to for the other characters. I just want to know in more detail what Jessie is like.

 

[Popsicle]

Name: Jessie
Age: 17
Species: Cherrim
Gender: Female
Level: 47
Personality: Jessie is always hyper and cheerful.
History: When Jessie was a small Cherubi her father taught her how to train. She trained so much she got very strong. When she thought she was good enough to be an explorer, she joined Raichu's Guild. She trained their until she was 16 and then she got upgraded to be on a team. One team needed a leader.

Jessie joined that team and she met Brock the Marowak, Alex the Chandelure, and her new best friend, Rosie the Altaria. They named their team, Team Hurricane. Team Hurricane went on many explorations and found lots of treasure. They were glad they could get back less fortunate people's treasures. One day while they were on an exploration she found an item called a Leaf Scarf, Jessie wore it ever since.
Status: Team Leader
Moveset: Energy Ball, Solar Beam, Sunny Day, and Nature Power.
Notes: Nothing really.

 

[PokeGirlJade]

Name: Jessie
Age: 17
Species: Cherrim
Gender: Female
Level: 47
Personality: Jessie is always hyper and cheerful.
History: When Jessie was a small Cherubi her father taught her how to train. She trained so much she got very strong. When she thought she was good enough to be an explorer, she joined Raichu's Guild. She trained their until she was 16 and then she got upgraded to be on a team. One team needed a leader.

Jessie joined that team and she met Brock the Marowak, Alex the Chandelure, and her new best friend, Rosie the Altaria. They named their team, Team Hurricane. Team Hurricane went on many explorations and found lots of treasure. They were glad they could get back less fortunate people's treasures. One day while they were on an exploration she found an item called a Leaf Scarf, Jessie wore it ever since.
Status: Team Leader
Moveset: Energy Ball, Solar Beam, Sunny Day, and Nature Power.
Notes: Nothing really.

Ah! Sorry for not replying sooner.
The SU is good, but the personality is pretty short. Make it a few sentences longer and then you can be accepted C:

 

[Facelift]

Snowflake Storm​

Name: Xanza
Age: 16 (Teen)
Species: Scyther
Gender: Male
Level: 13
Personality: Xanza is the type of pokemon you'd see doing anything alone. He remains aloof from communities, and even potential friends. In fact, he IS a lot like Sasuke from Naruto. Headstrong, aloof, enigmatic and is seeking vengeance. He'll go to any limits to achieve his revenge.

HISTORY
What exactly is Xanza looking for revenge for? Well, at age 3, level 1 he saw a powerful fire pokemon murder his parents, both powerful Scizors. He tried to fight back, but his father activated the move protect and forced Xanza to teleport somewhere else.
Xanza fell into a coma from shock, and woke up at age 7, level 1. He was weak, very weak. Therefore, he had to train. At level 5, he found out that he was being housed in a monastery of psychics. Staying and developing his mind, he left at age 9, level 6. He returned to his house at age 12, and had grew to level 9. His fury and hate was fueled by his finding of a Rainbow Wing. The town asked his to stay, but he brutally beat all the young fire pokemon and escaped.
Now, at age 16, level 13, he has found out what pokemon his target is:
The legendary Ho-oh

Status: Antihero/Villain
Moveset: U-turn, X- Scissor, Fury Cutter, Brick Break, Tackle
Notes: Has a strong hate for fire pokemon

Name: Dousing Fire Organization
Leader: Xanza
Goal: Dedicated to the capture and enslavement of all legendary fire pokemon, and the awakening of the legendary Genesect
Members: Xanza the Leader, Bane (Heracross lvl 10 male) the Muscle, Vlenza (Venipede lvl 12 male) the Poisoner, Shell (Dwebble lvl 8 female) the Resister, Nin (Nincada lvl 9 female) the Ground, and Kit (Surskit lvl 9 female) the Douser
Notes: Xanza found Bane during his travel to his parent's burned house; Vlenza joined when he saw the two easily defeat a Charmeleon and throw it underwater; the three found Shell in a desert; Nin also joined the two in the desert; and Kit joined to extract revenge against a certain Charizard.

Sorry, forgot to repost here. Anyways, I'd like to say that for the moment, Dousing Fire is a group that:
Allows every type but fire.
Is led by Xanza
Is very, very evil

 

[imevil]

Snowflake Storm
Name: Peeko
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Species: Golem
Level: 42
Personality: Peeko is very head strong and stubborn. He doesn't like listening to others, he does things his way. He belives Rock and Ground Pokemon are the best and hates Water Types.
History: Peeko would always bully other Pokemon. He was the strongest one in his area until a Blastoise showed up and defeated him. After that he no longer ruled the area, and resented all water types. After that, he left his cave and went on a mission to prove Rock and Ground pokemon are the best in the world. He Trained for months, than created a team of Rock and Ground types. He now lives in a cave outside of Bell Town in whijch many groun and rock Pokemon live. His team protects the cave. His team has recently visited Raichu's guild and received memebership as an official team.

Name: Rock the House
Leader: Peeko
Goal: Wanting to become the strongest Pokemon in the world and proving that know water type will ever defeat them. They idolize Regirock and Groudon.
Team:
Rhyper (Rhyperior) Level 40
Diggit (Diglett) Level 41
Nio (Onix) Level 40
Tyree (Tyrannitar) Level 43
Maggy (Macargo) Level 42
Gary (Garchomp) Level 43
Lizzy (Gliscor) Level 41

The team is made up of all pokemon that are Ground, Rock or Both. Will take any pokemon who is either ground or rock and isn't water typed.