Well, a friend of mine killed herself. She wasn't a particularly close friend for me, but I had known her for several years and spent a lot of time with her. She was a really funny and generally a happy person, so I had absolutely no idea she was going to kill herself. Yet, she did. Moreover, it wasn't one of those attention-seeking "attempted suicide gone wrong" things, because she didn't do it by taking an overdose of painkillers or sleeping pills or anything. She hanged herself. And she was only sixteen at the time. I've never been so shocked.
It's been over four years now and I still can't understand it. I can't help but to think whether I could have done something for her, something to prevent her from doing it. I still can't understand why'd she do something like that. It was not a thing I can imagine her doing. Yet, I can't help but to imagine what her parents saw when they found her body and how they must've felt. I don't think I can ever fully stop thinking about it. I wonder how her parents feel nowadays. I never cried, somehow I couldn't bring myself to cry over her death. I still don't feel like crying. I just feel like a huge, sad, shocked question mark.
It fades over time, though. Over time, you just forget those who have gone. I don't really know whether it's a good thing or not. In a way, it's kind of cruel to forget, but then again, you can't cry forever.
May your friend rest in peace. I hope mine does, too.