Yes. It comes from understanding how pointless and meaningless my life is. I deal with it by having an indiscriminating hatred towards all things.
I hate everything. I hate everyone and wish nothing but the worst for everyone and their terrible lives. There is no life more terrible than my own, but at the same time, I believe that all of our lives' are similar, and yours is terrible, too. Nothing has been taken away from me because I had nothing all along. I am alone. You are alone. The moments where we believe that we 'understand' one another and have something special are lies. The excitement and stimulation that we share is the unhealthy euphoria of the human experience that our entire civilization is built upon. Every connection I've ever had with anyone has been a mutually-agreed-upon lie, until we broke the mutual agreement, and entered into a nuclear war where we took out our own anger at ourselves or one another. We never had any hope. I do not believe that there is any beauty in the world, and any one who creates anything that tries to inspire people to feel otherwise is an ugly, filthy liar. Said artist is probably living in a dreamworld, spreading dreamworld propoganda to the masses. I am not depressed. I am coming to terms with reality. I hate everything. Culture. Music. Technology The Internet. Film. TV. My friends. My family. All of the things I own. The things I am wearing. The things that I once believed made 'me.' The dreams that I once had that I thought would fulfill me. I am just trapped 'doing crap all', and 'talking about that bullcrap' and it doesn't even matter. For many years, I have only cared about myself. Every time I have empathized with any one else, or shared a special moment, I was actually having an inwardly vulnerable moment where I was just fighting against loneliness and isolation. I hate everything. I truly believe that there is nothing left for me to accomplish in this world. I believe that even if I accomplished anything, it wouldn't matter. There is no amount of money, critical acclaim, or abstract buzz that could make me feel like I had done something meaningful. Any one who has ever felt 'proud' of something that they have done is a simpleton, searching for praise from people with distorted values. I hate everything, and I have given up on the pyramid scheme known as 'the human spirit.' There is nothing left for me in this world. I hate everything and everyone and the world will never be a better place and there is nothing that I could/should/would of done to make it a better place or even obsess over making other people happy just to make myself happy.
**** you all.
Unfortunately I tend to agree with much of what you've written. However I dont feel as aggressive as you do, or perhaps I once did, on the subject as Im now too tired. I have come to feel this way due to many issues, mainly health related. Life is a Motherf*#%er and doesn't give an inch so dont expect anything and you wont be dissapointed (Much).
Stress is a subjective thing and self inflicted, however it is our intelligence as a species that is to blame here. To stress is counterproductive, but to not stress is a sign of complacency which is equally as counterproductive. The same way that fear is a sign of intelligence, as to be afraid is to be aware, the resulting states are cowardly or courageous depending on how you personally process the facts.
I must admit that I have had a good laugh at this thread so far. I crack up when I see kids that say that school work and study is hard and stressful. As an adult in the workforce for many years and having completed many years of tertiary study I can confidently say that in years to come, when real life stress' such as family, business, financial, health etc hit, you will pray for homework and study and regret all the time you wasted worry about such things.
I have much stress, all of which is self inflicted but not without cause, I have been chronically sick for over 2 years now, I have no sign of improvement, not for lack of trying, I have exhausted myself, mentally, physically and financially only to find no answers. The cruellest thing about my condition is that you cant die from it directly, you have to continue on trying to uphold the promises you made as a healthy man, such as continuing to work, run a business, raise a family, build a house etc, which all feel like cheques I wrote a life time ago but can no longer cash.
When all you have to look forward to is chronic pain, discomfort, loss of what you have worked for and certain deterioration of your condition, then you have something to stress about.
Pokemon does help, funnily enough, as I feel in control, which is rare for me these days. A little world all of my own, I am the champion, ruler and supreme authority, which is comforting even if superficial. It also reminds me of a time when I was healthy and hopeful, which is bitter sweet but nostalgic all the same. It also requires minimal physical effort which makes it more enjoyable for me.
Zeus
