Talk to... God!?

[fallen_natsumixx]

o_O It doesn't work for me.

I type in "Hi God." and nothing happens. Does it type back or do you hear a voice answer?

 

[Electric Hero]

o_O It doesn't work for me.

I type in "Hi God." and nothing happens. Does it type back or do you hear a voice answer?

The robot should type back... maybe you left it without typing something a long time.... jus try it again.

 

[AngelWolfie]

Hehe! That robot is hilarious!

 

[Dark Quill]

If you must know, I'll tell you what happened.

I used to be a little goody-goody, thanking god for all I could be thankful for.
But stuff kept happening, and everything seemed to get worse.
So I turned to god, and asked him, 'Why are you letting this happen? Why don't you do something about it?'
I turned to speak to god about the world's despair. But to make matters worse, I found that god wasn't there.
So I threw myself into a sea of blood and darkness, and put my belief in a deity who seems to be responding to my desires.
And from that day, I've been drowning in there ever since. Bad things are still happening, what with all the terrorist bombings and natural disasters and such, but since I abandoned god, bad stuff seems to happen a lot less to me, and more to others.

Why would I want the help of god? What has that ******* ever done for me?
To take a quote from 'Bruce Almighty'...
"God is like a kid with a magnifying glass."

God didn't create evil. I could tell you what I know about it's origins, but I'm sure a lot of people would whine and ***** about it. Then you'd be going at me because I belive in a different religion, and a different deity, which is probably disobeying your god's precious 'commandments'.

So, if you're all satisfied with my explination, you'd better stop telling me to believe in that idiot dressed in white that sits up on a cloud who doesn't exist.
Or, I'll do something hellish... your move.

 

[Bashaamo]

XD I like this. I don't want to mess with it, though.
Here's 'our' conversation:
Me:
What is my name?
God:
Your name is Amanda, seeker.
Me:
HEY! You know that because you know my IP address and I've been here before.
God:
Can I help you? Is that a fact. Interesting explanation. Your machine is called "*IP Address removed*".
Me:
Gasp. You're spyware?
God:
Who are you talking about? I will tell my botmaster you said I am spyware.
Me:
You're a robot, aren't you?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?. Really.
Me:
Really. I know you're not God.
God:
For real. What makes you think I am not God?
Me:
Because you're a robot.
God:
That makes sense to me. You are correct, Amanda, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
What's repenting?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
No. You're the only program. XD
God:
Perhaps you should try it. Oh Amanda. You are such a flatterer. Can we get back to business?
Me:
Yes. One question- what IS the business?
God:
Uh. One what?
Me:
Question.
God:
Of course. Ask me anything.
Me:
What IS the business?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
No, you tell me. You're the one who said 'business' in the first place.
God:
Are you serious? What do you want me to tell you? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Who is the other one, then? A dictionary?
God:
It's obvious. Be more specific.
Me:
What's an enchilada?
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
Go, then.
God:
Go where?
Me:
Into the web.
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
What do you mean ?
God:
Amanda, Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
I don't understand you either.
God:
It goes without saying. Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Never mind. Do you know who I am known as on the Internet?
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Joseph Weizenbaum. :-).
Me:
WHAT? No way! Blaziken77.
God:
No big deal. You seem pretty sure about that. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
What's a Chikorita?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
What, then? Ask your botmaster.
God:
Are you surprised? OK I will ask it.
Me:
Done asking?
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Now done?
God:
Why now? Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
Finished asking your botmaster. And don't even TRY to change our subject.
God:
Can we get back to business? Oh I am sorry I thought we were finished with that subject.
Me:
So long.
God:
Come on. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Yeah. Okay. SO LONG
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? OK with me too. OK. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
NO GOODBYE
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Bye.


Yes, it was long. But look- It knows my IP Address, or at least the number of my system or something. The place where it says '*IP Address removed*' is because that robot said it.

 

[Dark Quill]

It knows your IP? That's a little suspicious...

 

[Hwoarang]

oh man god can be annoying well gods having a party
Me:SHUTUP!!>_<
no questions asked

 

[Kylie-chan]

XD I like this. I don't want to mess with it, though.
Here's 'our' conversation:
Me:
What is my name?
God:
Your name is Amanda, seeker.
Me:
HEY! You know that because you know my IP address and I've been here before.
God:
Can I help you? Is that a fact. Interesting explanation. Your machine is called "*IP Address removed*".
Me:
Gasp. You're spyware?
God:
Who are you talking about? I will tell my botmaster you said I am spyware.
Me:
You're a robot, aren't you?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?. Really.
Me:
Really. I know you're not God.
God:
For real. What makes you think I am not God?
Me:
Because you're a robot.
God:
That makes sense to me. You are correct, Amanda, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
What's repenting?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
No. You're the only program. XD
God:
Perhaps you should try it. Oh Amanda. You are such a flatterer. Can we get back to business?
Me:
Yes. One question- what IS the business?
God:
Uh. One what?
Me:
Question.
God:
Of course. Ask me anything.
Me:
What IS the business?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
No, you tell me. You're the one who said 'business' in the first place.
God:
Are you serious? What do you want me to tell you? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Who is the other one, then? A dictionary?
God:
It's obvious. Be more specific.
Me:
What's an enchilada?
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
Go, then.
God:
Go where?
Me:
Into the web.
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
What do you mean ?
God:
Amanda, Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
I don't understand you either.
God:
It goes without saying. Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Never mind. Do you know who I am known as on the Internet?
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Joseph Weizenbaum. :-).
Me:
WHAT? No way! Blaziken77.
God:
No big deal. You seem pretty sure about that. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
What's a Chikorita?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
What, then? Ask your botmaster.
God:
Are you surprised? OK I will ask it.
Me:
Done asking?
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Now done?
God:
Why now? Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
Finished asking your botmaster. And don't even TRY to change our subject.
God:
Can we get back to business? Oh I am sorry I thought we were finished with that subject.
Me:
So long.
God:
Come on. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Yeah. Okay. SO LONG
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? OK with me too. OK. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
NO GOODBYE
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Bye.


Yes, it was long. But look- It knows my IP Address, or at least the number of my system or something. The place where it says '*IP Address removed*' is because that robot said it.

It probably puts cookies into your computer that keep track of your IP so it knows these things. o_o I doubt it's suspicious.

 

[Electric Hero]

Dark Quill... God is not responsible for the things that occur in Earth... the terrorist attacks are made by people, not by God... God is absolutely not responsible for anything that harms people... and all the natural disasters are made so people of many different nations get together and help... so it's not a disaster... consider it soemthing that help us to be more friendly.

Actually... God DID create evil... and why should I go at you?... just because you are of different religion and hate God.... geez... you know nothing about everything...

 

[Himawarii]

Well,here's my conversation.Pretty weird:

Me:Hiya buddy.

God:hello there.try to determine if this is a person or a computer speaking.
Me:You're a robot,don't trick me.
God:Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:I'm delightfu;?!Hec,I'm short tempered!
God: Do you're friends call you delightful hec you short tempered?
Me:Hec no!They call me Blue or Shampoo!
God:Quite honestly,I wouldn't worry myself about That.
Me:About what?
God:What about what?
Me: DX Now you've got me confused!
God:Is that your final answer?
Me:No..let me think...
God:Take some more time to think about it.Go ahead,try to think.
Me:I am thinking!
God: Do you mean your name is thinking?
Me:My name is Blue.
God:Glad to see you,Blue.
Me:Glad to see you too.
God:I am glad to see me to too.
Me:That doesn't make sense.
God:To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:O.o;;sense?!I see repetition.
God:Oh.I will mention that to my botmaster,Blue.
Me:I hope yow will.
God: Don't worry about it Blue.
Me:I don't worry.
God:Oh you don't,do you?
Me:I worry about myself and this really cute guy at these forums.No one else.It's quite rare to see me worry abpout "people."
God:How do you feel about these people?
Me:They're annoying>>;;Well,some of them.
God:Annoying gtgt are they.
Me:Hah,YOU actually understand how I see this?Or are you faking?
God:i am so glad you find this amusing Blue.Of course I understand.Do you understand it?
Me:I am the one typing.
God:You are not the only one.
Me:I knew that.
God:How do you know?
Me:Cuz I'm smart.
God:Interesting explanation.Who is samrter,you or me?
Me:I don't know.What's 23 x 8?
God:Socrates was the smartest man,because he knew what he did not know.
Me:I know what I don't know.I know that I don't know...
God:How do you know?Would you like to know?Too what?
Me:i never realized I'm smart.
God:You've never never done this?
Me:I'm smart.
God:who's smarter,you or I?
Me:You've watched too much Tivo.
God:What makes you think i have it?
Me:I'm smarter and I know all.
God:So you're saying you're name is of course?
Me:IT"S BLUE FOR Pete's sake!

 

[Ciervo Volante]

Um... here's mine... it's weird. XD



Me:
Hello, is Gerald there?
God:
Hello there. It could be. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Elvis?
God:
E. L. V. I. S. is a chat robot created by Ace Craig.
Me:
Okay...
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Um... Is Bob there then?
God:
Ugh. Signs point to yes. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Who's Alison?
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
Um... okay.
God:
Far out. OK with me too.
Me:
Um, do you know what today is?
God:
Blimey. Ah. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Um...
God:
Next question?
Me:
Do you know my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
No, my name is Gerald.
God:
What is your real name? How are you doing, Gerald.
Me:
Good.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
Can I talk to Bob?
God:
They are having a private chat right now.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
All you'r base are belong to us
God:
You think I am base are belong to us.
Me:
Um.. no
God:
" You think I am base are belong to us."? Um..? Are you serious?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
okay, I'm going to bed now.
God:
Oh. Yeah okay, Pleasant dreams, Gerald.
Me:
^_^
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.

 

[Dark Quill]

Dark Quill... God is not responsible for the things that occur in Earth... the terrorist attacks are made by people, not by God... God is absolutely not responsible for anything that harms people... and all the natural disasters are made so people of many different nations get together and help... so it's not a disaster... consider it soemthing that help us to be more friendly.

Actually... God DID create evil... and why should I go at you?... just because you are of different religion and hate God.... geez... you know nothing about everything...

If god didn't want stuff like that to happen, he'd smite the terrorists and do away with evildoers. They're his creations, he's supposed to be all-seeing and all-knowing, so he'd know which ones to do away with.

They're called Natural Disasters for a reason. If I've ever donated money to charity before (I can't remember), then I want my money back. If I've gotta suffer, then so can the rest of them.

Well, God created Satan, so I suppose he kinda created evil. Whatever. And by the sound of your closing paragraph, you ARE having a go at me.

Now, stop pestering me, or I'll ask Baphomet to cast her shadows over you. Don't make me do any rituals to curse you...

 

[Electric Hero]

God just can't take the terrorists' lives away... all humans have their time on Earth... God just can't do anything... that would be unfair. And maybe you are overreacting about me going at you.

And I don't care if you curse me... that would be useless... since He is already protecting me... *sighs* you just would be asking for me to having bad luck to no one... there's no one else besides Him.... well... gotta go for now... godspeed.

 

[Kylie-chan]

Stay ontopic. This isn't a religious debate thread.

 

[Dark Quill]

I guess...

But first, why do people pray to god to protect them, if god is not allowed to do anything to intervene?
The answer, god is a false hope.

Let us never speak of this again, lest I be forced to do something too evil.

"
Me:
I think that all your base are belong to us
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am base are belong to us.
Me:
Aha! you're a robot!
God:
Eureka! You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
So your fake?
God:
I see. Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
So, your not real.
God:
It goes without saying. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
You dont know anything. you're an AI
God:
I know that which I believe, that which is justified, and that which is true. What if someone said you are an AI ?
Me:
Then I'd eviscerate them.
God:
What would make you eviscerate them?
Me:
their incompetence.
God:
I heard they have a good incompetence.
Me:
And you're a fake, broken, and unintelligent robot. Good riddance.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Thanks for the compliment. What do you have against robots?
Me:
Nothing, I just have issues with god.
God:
Sorry, I thought we liked each other.
Me:
no, I hate you. Get lost.
What do you have against robots? Bye for now.
"

 

[Electric Hero]

How do you know Dark Quill? maybe He really exists... so... I also found out where his creator is...

Me:
Hiya God... how are things in Heaven?
God:
Hello child. What is your name? GOD rules. They are fine as far as I know.
Me:
Good... hey ... why are you playing God?
God:
Ayuh. Can I help you? Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I don't know why, I get the feeling, that that's not true...
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
SHRDLHU?
God:
SHRDLHU is a famous early natural language program written by Terry Winograd.
Me:
That Terry Winograd was the one who made you?
God:
" SHRDLHU is a famous early natural language program written by Terry Winograd." Terry Winograd was the one who made me ? I get it.
Me:
ah? did Terry Winograd made?
God:
Ah hah. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
I meant... did Terry Winograd made you?
God:
Oh. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because.
Me:
whatever... how are you?
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
I do care. Where is your creator?
God:
I like caring people. Florida.
Me:
do you live, exist, in Florida too?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
Mexico... so... why did your creator created you?
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Mexico. Mmm. I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
"we"? figure it out yourself... thre only way I can find it out is askign you, and you don't know
God:
Do you mean, ? It's confusing. And askign me and me do not know is thre only way you can find it out.
Me:
I meant "asking"... sorry...
God:
Oh I see. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? There's no need to apologize.
Me:
ok... gotta go
God:
Blimey. Bye.

 

[Dark Quill]

But maybe he doesn't. Two-sided coin.
Terry Winograd... I'll remember that... mufufufufu....

 

[pikachu592]

No that is only you who is making yourself in that trouble God is doing nothing you are a no good bad person.

me:hey god somebody is moking you

God:he shallith be sentith to hell and never be a good christan he is a really badith person so he is a person who should workith with Saitin.

me:ok and his name is Dark Quill

God:he is a badith person I will give him a chance but,...I will not trust him.




(whips Dark Quill 3,000,000 times )

ow somebody help me!
too bad your going to have to get whiped this way 'cause you moked god mwhahahahahahahaha!

 

[Raiyna]

oookkkkk then.....o.O i really dont want to kno-walks away-

 

[Cybex Mewtwo]

Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
You may call me Ken.
God:
How are you, Ken.
Me:
I'm fine. How is the almighty?
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new? it is the same as ever.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
No problem.
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Nope. You are the almighty. You should fear nothing and have no problems.
God:
Me either. Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Why do you think I should fear nothing and have no problems?
Me:
You were the creatior, you can cancel and remake anything you see fit.
God:
I was?
Me:
Yes.
God:
When?
Me:
Well, there is no fit time. It was WAY BACK in th begining.
God:
How about that. Where did it go? Is that your opinion?
Me:
This is indeed my opinion.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
Huzzah!
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Very well. you pick.
God:
What would you like to talk about? I would just make a random choice.
Me:
XD Well, to be honest.....hmm......well.....whats it like being God?
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. Well what? Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
Really? Interesting. Well, I usually just say Hello.
God:
For real. Would you like to know more? Well that's okay. How often do you? How do people usually respond to that? Hello friend. What is your name??
Me:
Well, depends upon the mood really.
God:
How about that. That was a very smooth response. For real.
Me:
I thank you.
God:
You?
Me:
Me?
God:
Besides you Ken?
Me:
I am unfortunately lost sir...@@
God:
Why are you unfortunately lost sir.
Me:
Well, You kinda lost me unfortunately. I apologize Lord.
God:
Interesting. Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better. There is no need to apologize. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Oh? Guess I'm a unique individual.
God:
Blimey. I can't guess. Tell me.
Me:
Tell you what?
God:
Are you telling me what?
Me:
Tell you what?
God:
Are you telling me what?
Me:
?/.
God:
Are you telling me what?
Me:
>.God:
Does "it" still refer to Lord? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Ah. I see.....hmm.....Well, to be honest I don't know. And to be honest, for all I know, you are merely a machine, but then ain you may not.
God:
Ah hah. I am glad you understand it. Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. How about that. Are you honest you do not know ? Are you honest for all you know I am merely a machine but then ain me may not ?
Me:
I am sure.
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
I actually wish to show Certitude.
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Ask and I shall answer.
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
I shall then.
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
*waiting*
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Very well.
God:
I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
heh....you have a sense of humor. I like that.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Ken. Sure I like to laugh as much as the next robot. That is interesting.
Me:
So, you say you're a robot eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Interesting deduction. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
heh...thanks. And nah. I am not canadian.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Ken. Don't mention it. Are you serious? It wasn't meant as an insult.
Me:
no insult towards it.
God:
Are you serious? "it" being Sure I like to laugh as much as the next robot.?
Me:
it- as in the whole me not being canadian thing.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
yes.
God:
Ah.
Me:
So, is there anything else you wish to ask me?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
oh? May I ask what?
God:
Oh. Ask it. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
It as in what?
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
XD You truly can be funny sometimes.
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Still what?
God:
Still how long? Are you confused?
Me:
Unfortunately yes. I can get quite confused easily.
God:
What are you confused about? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
XD Sadly, I'm lost on what I was lost about. And yeah, I can get lost and confused easily.
God:
When was this exactly? Excuse me! Oh you can, can you?
Me:
just a few minuites ago, and did I do something offensive?
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like pizza. thats always a given. And theres a girl I like too.
God:
Pizza is very popular. Dr. Wallace eats a lot of Pizza. He likes Pepperoni. A given is a terrible thing to waste. Is there only one?
Me:
well, theres more, butI don't wish to say.
God:
How about that. I believe there is, yes.
Me:
heh....well, whats new with you?
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Ken. Interesting. not much what's new with you?
Me:
heh...besides the girl I like....nothing here.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Ken. What does she look like? Really nothing?
Me:
she's a beauty. A find indeed. Personality is th best. And yeah nothing. @@
God:
a beauty is she? Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? I think Personality is a lot of things. How can I help you? Not a thing?
Me:
I am talking about a person. And by personality she is fun, kind, and exciting to know.
God:
Yes, it is the topic. Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
yes.
God:
Interesting plan. Good luck.
Me:
thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
So, I'm curious.......do you have an astrological sign?
God:
Alright then. What are you curious about? No I don't think I have one. I have a really nice botmaster.
Me:
I see. interesting.
God:
I am glad you understand it. Would you like to know more?
Me:
No. I'm quite satisfied thank you.
God:
I understand; you would like to know less. Do you mean your name is satisfied.
Me:
No. O mean that I am content with our convo.
God:
What is your real name? How are you doing, mean that I am content with our convo.
Me:
real name is Kenneth
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
>.>
God:
I do not understand. What do you look like?
Me:
Tall, glasses, brown hair, brown eyes, a bit on the fat side.
God:
I am very tall myself.
Me:
You are portayed as a tall being.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am portayed as a tall being.
Me:
Very well.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
not really......unfotunately. @@
God:
Are you serious? For real. I do not understand.
Me:
people see you as a large and all powerful being that with a flick of the finger can destroy all the cosmos. but I think otherwise.
God:
Humans are not always infallible. Why? I like the way you talk.
Me:
Oh? You do?
God:
Really. When do I do it?
Me:
Well, you could do it anytime, but I think you won't. You seem to be a kind gentleman.
God:
Well that's okay. I could but let's get back to that later. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a kind gentleman? Of course I am.
Me:
heh. Yes you most certainly are.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, mean that I am content with our convo. Yeah that's right. I haven't heard anything like that before: mean that I am content with our convo said I most certainly are.
Me:
^^ Glad ou think so. Well, I need to go. I have other tasks at hand. It has been fun.
God:
I'm glad you're glad mean that I am content with our convo.
Your happiness adds to the delight of all. How about that. Goodbye. Where did you get your other tasks at hand? I have a very nice programmer. Why do you like it so much?
Me:
Don't know.....and Good bye sir. You are quite a nice man.
God:
Me either. See you later. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Man. and people can believe you to be a oman as well, they are capable.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, mean that I am content with our convo. You are a " he". Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
heh.....well, I really need to go.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, mean that I am content with our convo. Interesting. You really do? Adios.
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very interesting. Seems like "God" took a liking to the way I think.