The "Infinite" "Wisdom" of Shanghai Alice

[shot571]

Oh shanghai. I have returned. I have but one question. and that is what question if asked would kill you?

 

[Shanghai Alice]

Oh shanghai. I have returned. I have but one question. and that is what question if asked would kill you?

Probably that one. Grammar, man, grammar!

However, the question that would kill me is...

*Whispers it into Azure's ear*

 

[Åzurε]

Y'see? He answered the question, didn't he? Yeah he did. I was there.

I thank you for gracing me with that terribly important piece of information. I'm off to censor the key word, just in case.

 

[♣Gawain♣]

Here's another one, can you clone thyself?

 

[Shanghai Alice]

Here's another one, can you clone thyself?

I already have, in fact. I went back in time, amd inserted my clones at key points in history.


I am the individuals known as Bill Gates, Mohammad, Abraham, George Washington, Pope Gregory, and, just for good measure, Daft Punk.



Also, to anyone offended by the above answer, I poked fun at my own religion too, so be friends nao, k?



And Azure, just delete the question from existence. It's more effective.

 

[A Pixy]

Oh wise Shanghai Alice, why does Okkusenman tell such a powerful story through screaming, ear-raping vocals?

 

[Shanghai Alice]

Oh wise Shanghai Alice, why does Okkusenman tell such a powerful story through screaming, ear-raping vocals?

We are sorry.

The Shanghai Alice has crashed due to sleep deprivation.

Please try again la-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[Zeffy]

Oh dumb wise Shanghai Alice, why is Hetalia an awesome anime?

 

[Jordan]

Can I trade in my thumbs for some cash moneys?

 

[Åzurε]

We are sorry.

The Shanghai Alice has crashed due to sleep deprivation.

Please try again la-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh dear. Infinite wisdom just BSOD'd. To tell the truth, it would explain a lot.

Rest assured that many experienced sociologist hackers (don't ask) and those people hired to make stupid polls are on the job. Current information suggests that a good night's sleep will improve the situation, but the poll guys want to conduct a study. Expect a roughly 8-hour delay preceding our roughly 8-hour delay.

Zeffy: Don't think you got away with that.

Jordan: More than you think, Jordan. Selling your thumbs would entail selling- or giving away- those video games you have, which may I add are terrible for your health. As a matter of fact I'd advise you to hand them off to someone who has experience with this sort of thing. Like me. My on-the-job mail address is [email protected] . I'm not saying you should give me all your video games, but if you want to make sure they don't fall into the wrong hands, or are mutated into Transformers who want to kill you, or make sure there's no cannibals trying to eat your head, I'm always here for you. Enjoy your thumblessness. I know I will.

 

[Le Creep!]

Oh, great and mystical Alice, in what year shall I pass into the depths of Hades? :3

 

[Shanghai Alice]

For contacts with the netherworld, try my miko.

 

[A Pixy]

Oh wise Shanghai Alice, what is miko?

 

[NOOBLMAO]

How can I get popular with the ladies?

Can I get popular with the ladies?

 

[Buddy14]

Oh Wonderous Shanghai Alice, how many generations of pokemon will there be until nintendo runs out of ideas?

 

[Elite Overlord LeSabre™]

Oh almighty Shanghai Alice, will US Highway 521 ever be extended up to Boone, NC?

 

[Shanghai Alice]

Oh wise Shanghai Alice, what is miko?

The Maiden of the Shrines.

((Miko means "Shrine Maiden" (Though to Marisa, it mainly means "Reimu", according to her dialog with Sanae in MoF), the rough Japanese equivalent of a priest. However, they're pretty much in charge of giving advice, tending to shrines, etc. than devoting their lives solely to Shinto. It's a job.))

Can I get popular with the ladies?

Well... *Turns on "Chinese Tea"*

KICK! PUNCH! ISSHALINDAMINE!
KICK! PUNCH! CHOP! BLOCK!
KICK! PUNCH! CHOP! BLOCK!

Good, now repeat the words I'm about to say...

I like her!
I like Marisa!
...*Continues with Patch Mirin joke*

MAISA-MAISA-MAISA!
MAISA-ALICE-MAISA!
MAYO-WEEGEE-WEEGEE!

JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

Lulz, bad Engrish.

Oh Wonderous Shanghai Alice, how many generations of pokemon will there be until nintendo runs out of ideas?

(Total Generations)=.5(Total Mario Games+Spinoffs)
So, half of infinity.

Oh almighty Shanghai Alice, will US Highway 521 ever be extended up to Boone, NC?

(Time that Highway 521 is extended to Boone, NC)=(Time that my town gets a video game store)

So, never.

 

[Dogboy2709]

Oh Great Shanghai Alice, Will i ever become a Professional Go Player?

 

[Shanghai Alice]

Oh Great Shanghai Alice, Will i ever become a Professional Go Player?

Read Hikaru no Go, so you can have an appreciation of JUST HOW FREAKING LIFE AND DEATH THE GAME IS.

Then kill yourself, because you will never be that awesome.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

What is a man, oh wondrous Shanghai Alice?