CHAPTER ONE
"And Professor Rowan has recently returned to Sandgem town..."
'What the hell am I doing watching TV and only wearing a coat-thingy in a world populated by potential weapons of mass destruction? I'm out of here to find some clothes and world domination.'
Shame turned off the TV and walked down the stairs. She looked like your average pre-teen brain-dead zombie prep girl, with black hair, a pink coat-thingy, and a face that reeked of not-very-amused-ness.
'At least I have a badass scarf...' She consoled herself, to no avail.
'Hi sweetie! How are you feeling?' her Mum called out, from the kitchen of course.
'Oi, narrator, stop making over-used sexist jokes, you're a woman you know too! I'm feeling very-not-amused, mother.'
'Aww, that's so lovely! Your friend, Fair (word in the song I was playing) was looking for you. Something about being extremely reckless and running into tall grass to catch Pokémon.'
'Yay I suppose...'
Shame walked off to route 201, and saw her friend Fair waiting there. He was blond, and matched the stereotype of being incredibly stupid. He a nice scarf though, so it didn't really matter.
'Hi there! You saw that Rowan guy on the TV rite-'
'Did you just speak text speak?'
'-we're going to run from tall grass really quickly, so we don't get mauled to death!'
'Well, whatever floats your boat I suppose...'
'Okay! One...' Fair pulled back, and went into sprint position, 'two...'
'HOLD IT!' A loud voice shouted out, and temporarily broke time itself.
Once time had recovered, Shame saw an old guy stand behind them.
'Hey Shame, isn't that Professor Rowan?' Fair asked her.
'Indeed it is mere mortal.'
He looked at both of them, and READ THEIR PUNY MINDS *Duuun duuun duuuuuuun! *
'Well it's obvious you want Pokémon, isn't that right?
They both nodded. World domination here I come! Shame thought in evil delight.
'Tell me, do you both love Pokémon?'
'That could be interpreted soooooo wrongly', Shame pointed out.
Rowan blushed a little, 'Oh my, I never thought of it like that at all. At least one of you has brains... Not sure about maturity, but brains at least... Man servant!'
He looked over his shoulder at a scrawny nobody who had appeared out of nowhere.
'Yes..?' the scrawny nobody asked.
'Give these mortals Pokémon.'
'Okay...'
He handed both Shame and Fair a pokeball. Shame could make out a monkey like creature in it.
'Well, now that I have entrusted to random strangers with incredibly rare beasts, I must depart!'
Rowan and his man servant walked off into the distance, heading in the direction of Sandgem town.
'That. Was. AWESOME!!' Fair fan-boyed, 'There's only one thing to do now, right? Shame, I challenge you to a battle!'
Shame sent out her Pokémon. It was a chimchar, a fire typed monkey that was known as a fast and strong Pokémon. Fair sent out a piplup, which was known as a Pokémon which was good against chimchars. Damn man servant.
'Chimchar, scratch its eyes out!'
'That's not an attack!'
'I don't care!'
Chimchar ran towards piplup, scratched at its face with its visible lack of claws making piplup squeal and stand back, before quickly b*tch-slapping the chimchar like the loser it was. The two Pokémon then engaged in mortal combat, pounding and scratching each other like no tomorrow. Eventually the piplup fell down, and Fair returned it to its pokeball.
'Wow, good match Shame! We better go to Sandgem town to thank the professor!'
The duo walked off to Sandgem town, luckily not running into any Pokémon. The lab was fairly noticeable, they entered it and saw Rowan standing at its back. Fair quickly rushed int, gabbled some rabid words and instantly left.
'Ummm... What?' Shame stated flatly.
'Now there, Shame, wasn't it? Do you want to name your chimchar?
'Yes please, it's stupid calling it chimchar! That's like going around the place calling everyone Human, or People or Person or something like that.'
'Yeeeeeesss... The name please, the name!'
'Alright... I shall call you Wonder! So Rowan, how can I repay you for giving me a personal hit man?'
'Oh, think nothing of it. You just have to do me some HUGE favours of course. First, I would like you to go on a dangerous journey and complete this.'
Rowan handed her something that looked like a red mobile phone.
'That is a pokedex. It records data on any Pokémon you battle. I also want you to enter the Pokémon league. Another mortal I asked to use a pokedex entered it, and I also got famous as a result! If two of my disciples- students! I mean students! Enter, imagine how much more famous I could get!'
'But your voice can break time, wouldn't you get more famous from that?'
'Anyway, fill up the pokedex and challenge the league. I must warn you though; a few things have changed in recent years. Instead of just fainting the opponents Pokémon, you must slay them, or risk your Pokémon being slain. The box system has broken, so you can only keep the first six Pokémon you catch. Healing items have also been banned because of their side effects, and new laws state that you can only catch the first Pokémon you see in any area, and no more.'
'Umm... Yay...'
'Don't worry though!' Rowan sounded chirpier, 'I'll give you this, it's a translator. As long as you have this, you will be able to understand any Pokémon in your possession. Good luck, and welcome to the crapsack world of Pokémon battling!'