My Mind Has Tricked Me :|
Greetings, PokéCommunity.
I'm going to discuss emotions that I've been feeling today, and how my mind tricked me.
I will start by talking about part of my day.
As an Australian, I am privileged enough to be able to collect the Snarl Zorark distribution this month from EBGames stores. Today, I decided to head off to the nearest EBGames store, which is a very popular outlet, and pick up this event Pokémon. Now, I didn't want to go by myself, so I decided that my girlfriend should tag along. It's her birthday quite soon, and I figured that she would drop some hints if we went shopping. So I called her up, and she was in a relatively grumpy mood. She insisted that she as grumpy because she was tired, but I could sense something else was wrong. I would ask her later. I would also try to cheer her up, by buying her some early birthday presents.
Lacking a driver's license, my girlfriend and I caught the bus. The drive itself is quite uneventful, but the social interactions between my girlfriend and me were not: her mood had not changed. She was getting mad quite unreasonably, very unprovoked anger. I was certain that something was wrong, but she still wouldn't tell me.
Before I went to pick up my Zoroark, I went to a rival gaming store, in hopes of there being FireRed for cheap. There wasn't, but there was a very cute Axew plush doll that I bought. It's really, really cute and fluffy and very realistic in comparison to its sprites.
Anyway, I arrived at the EBGames store to collect my Zoroark. Confidently, Awkwardly, I walked up to the counter and inquired about this distribution, and to my horror, they were not distributing it. I was absolutely Outraged. My girlfriend laughed – the first joyful thing that she had done I had witnessed all day.
Subsequently, my girlfriend and I travelled to the nearest clothing store, where she discovered some bathers that she really wanted. They were $30 per pair. In an attempt to cheer her up, I paid for them. I knew she would do exactly the same thing for me. She had a big smile on her face. No later than one metre out of the store, she returned back to her grumpy mood. I asked if she would like to go home, or do a little bit more shopping, and her reply is too rude to put down.
As I stared at her in disbelief, I realised something. I am not in love with her, I am in love with the idea of her – the bright, creative girl that is generous, gentle, nerdy and would kiss me when I'm upset. But when I talk to her, or am I actually around her, very rarely does she impress me intellectually or otherwise, not to that she never does, but it is rare. She seems tolerant and accepting of me, but then when she actually talks, she never lives up to this expectation.
[FONT="]Basically, I've created a persona, which amplifies her good qualities and diminishes her bad ones and I have attributed this persona to her. I am in love, but I'm not in love with her.
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[FONT="]Today has been quite emotional for me, and I'm very confused about what I should do. I still cannot fathom why she was in such a bad mood, maybe it was my fault. Apologies for digressing during this post, I'm finding it hard to think straight lol. [/FONT]