<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
I'll post my SU in a little bit.On my mobile currently.I have a question.Could I make a SU for both sides?
The Shattered Era [T] (OOC/SU)
- Thread starter Greiger
- Start date
TornZero
Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
- 1,137
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Age 30
- In your pantry, eatin' your delicious cake.
- Seen Sep 10, 2013
I'm going to suggest taking a look at the other SUs. You can find the whole list of them at the bottom of the first post.
<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
I see the job of Knight-Commander says its open. Is this true?
<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
Alright. Inspiration for a freaking amazing SU go! (Cry Thunder by Dragonforce starts to play in the background)
TornZero
Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
- 1,137
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Age 30
- In your pantry, eatin' your delicious cake.
- Seen Sep 10, 2013
Let's hope you can match the Knight-Commanders made so far. I'd like seeing The Demon come back should Game Over ever return.
<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
Where would I find this so called 'Demon's' SU?
TornZero
Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
- 1,137
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Age 30
- In your pantry, eatin' your delicious cake.
- Seen Sep 10, 2013
I'm pretty sure I posted this not two hours ago.
Anyways, you'll probably want to look at each of the Knight-Commanders; The Demon's is just the funniest.
<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
I'm looking for it, but I can't locate it. That twig won't stand a chance against MY commander. > : D
<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
Thanks. That would be great! :D
Greiger
A mad mind... hehe
- 2,016
- Posts
- 12
- Years
- Age 33
- Seen Oct 1, 2023
http://www.pokecommunity.com/showpost.php?p=7076317&postcount=139 Here's his SU. That is the quality I am looking for.
<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
@Greiger Would there be any stereotypical leaders you would like me to avoid using?
<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
The map isn't loading for me. Could you post a link?
<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
Nvm about the stereotypical thing. Could I get a link to that map? It's not loading for me.
Name (Self-explanatory.): Finnigan 'Spike Driver' Stark
Age (For Knights the age range can be from 15 to 35. For Mechanists the age range can be from 18 to 55): 45
Gender (Self-explanatory.): Male
Pokemon Species (What are you?): Tyranitar
Job Title: Knight-Commander of the Knights of Oran
Appearance (One paragraph required. Make sure to include your weapons/armor for this section.): Finnigan, being the Knight-Commander, wears nothing but heavy golden armor that is really guilded steel, seeing as gold is one of the softest metal. His breastplate is as heavy as a Snorlax, but he wears it as though it were a Caterpie. It has a silver Oran Berry emblazoned on the front, seeing as it's the symbol of the Knights of Oran.
He only wears a helmet in battle. It is in the shape of his head but with spikes sticking out at almost every angle. It has a visor that when pulled down, it comes down and displays the face of a Gyarados with mouth and eye holes. He has gauntlets that reach up to his elbow with spikes jutting out from the joint as well. He has boots and connected leg guards that go up half way up his thigh with no protection on his knee so he can run. His pauldrons jut out about a foot.
Other than the average Tyranitar, he has no distinct features except for the insane amount of spikes on his tail, the reason for his nickname. His skeptical nature makes his eyebrows raised naturally, as he questions everyone's ideas until they're proven to be successful. He also has strange scars across his chest that he's never told anyone about. No one.
Personality (Two paragraphs.): Finnigan is as honorable as the next guy, but he is very skeptical and won't hesitate to question anyone's ideas except for the Council's. He has a very strategic mind, which makes him skeptical. He has to see the proof that the plan will work, or it's not going to happen. He'll make changes as he pleases, as long if it's not the Council's demand, that the strongest go last, he won't hesitate to make them go first if the situation calls for it. He sometimes questions the Council's order and will ask for a better idea against his better judgment...and the Council's.
He is a caring leader and tries to lose as few men as he can. He is understanding of his soldiers and cares to know each one individually. Though most civilians and lowly foot soldiers view him as a brute due to his ruthlesness in battle. He enjoys the thrill of combat, but he doesn't like killing. As his father once said, "Only a monser kills without feeling anything." He, however, will not hesitate to destroy anything that stands in his way. It makes him sad that such petty conflicts must be solved in violence, but he goes with it. He respects his fellow generals, but will occasionally condesend his lesser soldiers.
History (From childhood to where you are now.): Finnigan's father was a Feraligator who was a Knight, and his mother a Tyranitar, who was a Destroyer during her years. As a Larvitar, his father took him on multiple adventures into the wilderness to fight and train. He would usually have unusual plans, and that led to his skepticism.
At age 10, he evolved into a Pupitar. Although he wasn't as mobile as before, he refused to stop training. He demanded his mother train him in the mind. She taught him the weaknesses of the machines she had been trained to destroy. He eagerly listened to every word she said. She eventually taught him about tactics and morale and other such things. Morale was always important.
His father took him on his last guided outing when he was 19. "Now son, no matter what happens out here, I love you. Join the Knights of Oran, and become powerful." Though he didn't know what he meant at the time, but he soon found out. The Feraligator took his young Pupitar son to raid a Mechanist camp that had happened to be packing up. "We'll catch them by surprise." His father had said. There was a large amount of Mechanists however, and most of them were wielding Shock Guns. Finnigan and his father tore through them, though his dad was taking a massive beating from the cowering soldiers. Eventually, they had killed all of them but a Zangoose, who used the killing strike on his father with a mighty slash. Finnagan took revenge and killed the remaining Mechanist with a powerful Rock Slide. His father was dying quickly, but he had one last thing to tell the young Pupitar. "Son, I brought you here." He coughed up a little blood. "I brought you here by the Council's orders. This was your initiation to the Knights of Oran." He coughed up even more blood, and drifted into eternal rest. Finnigan evolved after mourning for his father's death, and carried his body all the way back to Markus. He cried for a long time, but decided against letting it ruin his life. However, after that day, he had a pang of hatred for the Mechanists, though he never truly hated them. When people asked why he didn't enjoy killing the "traitorous beasts", he would merely reply, "They may have killed my father, but they have made me stronger. I respect them. That's all I have to say."
He joined the knights and rose through the ranks using his wit and ferocity, and at age 36, he gained favor with the council by carrying out a mission that was damn near impossible: destroying an entire Mechanist platoon known as the Mechageddon, which was very secretive and stationed in the forests near the Cerulean Enclave at the time, single handedly.
Moveset (Only four moves. Mechanists can use TM and HM moves.): Outrage, Aqua Tail, Dragon Tail, Fire Punch
Well, here it is. Tell me what you think. (Fingers crossed)
Name (Self-explanatory.): Finnigan 'Spike Driver' Stark
Age (For Knights the age range can be from 15 to 35. For Mechanists the age range can be from 18 to 55): 45
Gender (Self-explanatory.): Male
Pokemon Species (What are you?): Tyranitar
Job Title: Knight-Commander of the Knights of Oran
Appearance (One paragraph required. Make sure to include your weapons/armor for this section.): Finnigan, being the Knight-Commander, wears nothing but heavy golden armor that is really guilded steel, seeing as gold is one of the softest metal. His breastplate is as heavy as a Snorlax, but he wears it as though it were a Caterpie. It has a silver Oran Berry emblazoned on the front, seeing as it's the symbol of the Knights of Oran.
He only wears a helmet in battle. It is in the shape of his head but with spikes sticking out at almost every angle. It has a visor that when pulled down, it comes down and displays the face of a Gyarados with mouth and eye holes. He has gauntlets that reach up to his elbow with spikes jutting out from the joint as well. He has boots and connected leg guards that go up half way up his thigh with no protection on his knee so he can run. His pauldrons jut out about a foot.
Other than the average Tyranitar, he has no distinct features except for the insane amount of spikes on his tail, the reason for his nickname. His skeptical nature makes his eyebrows raised naturally, as he questions everyone's ideas until they're proven to be successful. He also has strange scars across his chest that he's never told anyone about. No one.
Personality (Two paragraphs.): Finnigan is as honorable as the next guy, but he is very skeptical and won't hesitate to question anyone's ideas except for the Council's. He has a very strategic mind, which makes him skeptical. He has to see the proof that the plan will work, or it's not going to happen. He'll make changes as he pleases, as long if it's not the Council's demand, that the strongest go last, he won't hesitate to make them go first if the situation calls for it. He sometimes questions the Council's order and will ask for a better idea against his better judgment...and the Council's.
He is a caring leader and tries to lose as few men as he can. He is understanding of his soldiers and cares to know each one individually. Though most civilians and lowly foot soldiers view him as a brute due to his ruthlesness in battle. He enjoys the thrill of combat, but he doesn't like killing. As his father once said, "Only a monser kills without feeling anything." He, however, will not hesitate to destroy anything that stands in his way. It makes him sad that such petty conflicts must be solved in violence, but he goes with it. He respects his fellow generals, but will occasionally condesend his lesser soldiers.
History (From childhood to where you are now.): Finnigan's father was a Feraligator who was a Knight, and his mother a Tyranitar, who was a Destroyer during her years. As a Larvitar, his father took him on multiple adventures into the wilderness to fight and train. He would usually have unusual plans, and that led to his skepticism.
At age 10, he evolved into a Pupitar. Although he wasn't as mobile as before, he refused to stop training. He demanded his mother train him in the mind. She taught him the weaknesses of the machines she had been trained to destroy. He eagerly listened to every word she said. She eventually taught him about tactics and morale and other such things. Morale was always important.
His father took him on his last guided outing when he was 19. "Now son, no matter what happens out here, I love you. Join the Knights of Oran, and become powerful." Though he didn't know what he meant at the time, but he soon found out. The Feraligator took his young Pupitar son to raid a Mechanist camp that had happened to be packing up. "We'll catch them by surprise." His father had said. There was a large amount of Mechanists however, and most of them were wielding Shock Guns. Finnigan and his father tore through them, though his dad was taking a massive beating from the cowering soldiers. Eventually, they had killed all of them but a Zangoose, who used the killing strike on his father with a mighty slash. Finnagan took revenge and killed the remaining Mechanist with a powerful Rock Slide. His father was dying quickly, but he had one last thing to tell the young Pupitar. "Son, I brought you here." He coughed up a little blood. "I brought you here by the Council's orders. This was your initiation to the Knights of Oran." He coughed up even more blood, and drifted into eternal rest. Finnigan evolved after mourning for his father's death, and carried his body all the way back to Markus. He cried for a long time, but decided against letting it ruin his life. However, after that day, he had a pang of hatred for the Mechanists, though he never truly hated them. When people asked why he didn't enjoy killing the "traitorous beasts", he would merely reply, "They may have killed my father, but they have made me stronger. I respect them. That's all I have to say."
He joined the knights and rose through the ranks using his wit and ferocity, and at age 36, he gained favor with the council by carrying out a mission that was damn near impossible: destroying an entire Mechanist platoon known as the Mechageddon, which was very secretive and stationed in the forests near the Cerulean Enclave at the time, single handedly.
Moveset (Only four moves. Mechanists can use TM and HM moves.): Outrage, Aqua Tail, Dragon Tail, Fire Punch
Well, here it is. Tell me what you think. (Fingers crossed)
Last edited:
Greiger
A mad mind... hehe
- 2,016
- Posts
- 12
- Years
- Age 33
- Seen Oct 1, 2023
Well the map is long gone. Guess my profile didn't save it anywhere which SUCKS big time.
Let's see.... your profile is rather... single minded I am seeing. Can you expand it a bit? Talk about how the Mechanists have affected his life. Why did his father take him to the camp without backup? If they did know there was a Mechanist camp why not alert the Council? Furthermore there is standard procedure when dealing with Mechanists so perhaps you can work it in that the Mechanists were about to depart from the area. If the Mechanists were about to leave the camp that would make much more sense.
It is rather believable that his father would go and attack since he is a Knight and could take on a few Mechnaists, and it also makes sense he would bring his son along for the ride to get him used to bloodshed, no problems there.
The only other problem I see is with the personality. Knights just don't speak out against the Council. Equate the council to a dictatorship, which is what they essentially are. If you speak out against a dictator and make it a regular thing to speak out and disagree with everything a dictator says, you're getting killed immediately. Every pokemon in the Council's lands obeys them, period. If you do question them, well, expect not to wake up the next day. There is showing hesitation every now and then and perhaps every so often offering a different plan from a different viewpoint and there is what you are suggesting he does every time the Council speaks. The last problem I do have is with him not killing. Knights are trained to kill their opponents in battle with very few exceptions. It's why they go for training and what their instructors teach them, how to kill quickly and efficiently. It's why the Mechanists are frightened of them. Every now and then they take prisoners, but for the most part everybody that crosses them lies in a puddle of their own blood.
Those are the problems I have. Please correct them and we'll see how it looks once you fix it up.
Let's see.... your profile is rather... single minded I am seeing. Can you expand it a bit? Talk about how the Mechanists have affected his life. Why did his father take him to the camp without backup? If they did know there was a Mechanist camp why not alert the Council? Furthermore there is standard procedure when dealing with Mechanists so perhaps you can work it in that the Mechanists were about to depart from the area. If the Mechanists were about to leave the camp that would make much more sense.
It is rather believable that his father would go and attack since he is a Knight and could take on a few Mechnaists, and it also makes sense he would bring his son along for the ride to get him used to bloodshed, no problems there.
The only other problem I see is with the personality. Knights just don't speak out against the Council. Equate the council to a dictatorship, which is what they essentially are. If you speak out against a dictator and make it a regular thing to speak out and disagree with everything a dictator says, you're getting killed immediately. Every pokemon in the Council's lands obeys them, period. If you do question them, well, expect not to wake up the next day. There is showing hesitation every now and then and perhaps every so often offering a different plan from a different viewpoint and there is what you are suggesting he does every time the Council speaks. The last problem I do have is with him not killing. Knights are trained to kill their opponents in battle with very few exceptions. It's why they go for training and what their instructors teach them, how to kill quickly and efficiently. It's why the Mechanists are frightened of them. Every now and then they take prisoners, but for the most part everybody that crosses them lies in a puddle of their own blood.
Those are the problems I have. Please correct them and we'll see how it looks once you fix it up.
<Challenger>
Goodbye PC...for now.
- 2,479
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Age 26
- East Coast, USA (Represent!)
- Seen Feb 5, 2016
I've worked on it a little. What do you think?
Greiger
A mad mind... hehe
- 2,016
- Posts
- 12
- Years
- Age 33
- Seen Oct 1, 2023
Much better, just one last thing I didn't see last time. Take out him attacking an enclave and replace that with something such like attacking a large group of Mechanists in the forest or something similar. The Enclaves had not been found yet at that time, they have just been recently discovered by the Council. Other than that, it does seem good, just make sure to breath life into your character and make him unique and you'll be all good.