Thinking before you speak - a question.

[Nick]

This is just a quick question that I'd like your thoughts on.

I was in the shower and I really don't know why it came to my mind, but suddenly I started thinking about thinking before you speak. I asked myself what the world would be like if people said the first thing that came to mind, without thinking it through. Do we censor our true, immediate thoughts by doing this? Having a change of heart on something aside (like, after you think it through, you realize it's wrong and you change your opinion on it) do you believe that we censor our immediate thoughts by attempting to refrain from speaking until we've thought about what we want to say? Are our thoughts -- before thinking before we speak them -- our raw personality and opinions, uncensored?

I tossed that question in my mind, comparing sides and playing devil's advocate with myself for both sides, and still haven't come to formulate an opinion. What's your opinion on this? I think this could make for an interesting discussion and debate, so I'm hoping some of you take an interest in this question and really think about it.

 

[Captain Fabio]

I was in the shower...

I was worried where this was going for a second...

It is certainly an interesting thought. Most people defiantly censor their speech; I certainly do. If I am not angry, then I think before I say anything. I like to think of a calculated response before I say anything, if someone has asked me. But, the problem with this is, if someone is annoying me, then my calculated thought process starts to go out of the window a bit.
It gets harder and harder for me to reply in a civil way, if they are being a plain idiot/douche/what ever. Admittedly, it does take a lot for someone to annoy me to the extend of me saying what I am truly thinking, but it has happened before.

Considering a world where everyone says their immediate thoughts, I think we would have a less censored world, but a slightly more hostile one. However, it would be a lot more honest world. A part of me would like this, since I prefer people to tell me what they think of me bluntly. I hate people sidestepping the question, or trying to powder the answer to make me feel better or to try not to hurt my feelings. I honestly don't care what most people think, it is just what my friends think of me, then I would reflect upon myself.​

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[Guy]

I find thinking while in the shower absolutely the best time to think about things!

On a normal day, if someone were to ask me a question I would think it through before responding. Even here, before giving my own opinions on something I have a tendency to think about what I want to say and then after reading it through again, I make some changes after giving it a second thought. I think being able to think about what you want to say is a way to sort out your thoughts. For instance, sometimes we come to a conclusion too fast and it may not always be the right response. So, to me thinking about what you're going to say before you actually say it is a way of weighing your options and processing what you think about the given question before giving your answer.

In some ways, saying the immediate thing that comes to mind can be found as being too blunt or direct while in some ways people view it as the absolute truth and it can be taken into more light. Considering a world where everyone gave their immediate thoughts could lead to a lot of, well, there might be quite a bit of difficulties at hand. The reason why I say this is because sometimes our immediate thought isn't always the most wisest. We don't consider all the possible effects of what might be done or said after saying such thoughts. While it could lead the world to a more open and uncensored world, it would also have its downfalls - or at least that's how I see it anyway.

 

[Oryx]

I don't consider the first thing that comes to mind our "raw personality". Humans are animals, just like all the other animals on the planet, and if we don't use what makes us so different (our minds), then our selfish, blunt, animalistic side would be prevalent. As much as many people try to deny it, if you're asked a question and the result affects you, your first thought would be to answer it in the way that affects you best. Only after more thought would you come up with the answer that is best in general, not just for yourself. It's not an insult to anybody, this is just how I believe people's first thoughts work. They're instinct, and instinct looks out for itself and no one else.

Kind of reminds me of the House episode where a disorder caused a man to be completely honest with everyone around him. He told the female doctors what he fantasized about them, he told his wife that he thought her job wasn't real, and he told his child that there have to be kids below average, and she was one of them. It's called "The Social Contract", if anyone's interested.

 

[twocows]

Animals do the first thing that comes to mind. One of the many things that separate us from them is that we have the ability to contemplate the consequences and rethink our actions before performing them.

It's usually a good thing we don't say the first thing that comes to mind. A lot of people are weirdos and I'd rather have to suffer the knowledge of every person's weirdness when it's really something that should be kept private. Diplomacy is also an area where saying the first thing that comes to mind would be a really unwise decision.

Do I? I almost always think before I type up a response, but when I talk with people it's much more spontaneous. I still think before I make decisions and there's a part of me that knows when to shut up if I'm about to say something dumb.

As for the question of whether our first instincts reveal our personalities, my answer is no. I think our decisions are what define us, not our impulses.

 

[Miss Doronjo]

I know when someone asks me a question, I would think it through first, because then I'd be able to provide an answer from my own thoughts and feelings, as well as some truthful fact. If I answer something without thinking it through first, that would of come from my own intuition, since I've had a gathering of the truth probably in my own experience, or just in my thoughts and feelings, no insight from the actual "truth", so I would think a world where everyone said things without thinking it thorough isn't such a good idea.

I can kind of understand why people would say things with out thinking -- things are a bit more of a mystery, and I deal with it accordingly by lumping things together in fairly broad categories which are treated somewhat totemically. Whatever I don't understand I tend to put on a pedestal per-se, treat as a god or a devil. It can be quite frustrating when I'm GETTING the message, but NOT GETTING any logical reasoning along with it. Well, I don't have a problem with people being blunt, I just don't like the idea of ignoring and sidestepping concepts, and they'd rush to a conclusion waaaaay too quickly, and might often gets the wrong idea.

 

[Mr Cat Dog]

Just to warn everyone, this is going to get Freudian, with a touch of Hobbes!

Something about using the word 'censoring' to describe true personalities/thoughts rubs me the wrong way slightly: all the connotations about morality that come with censorship of art and entertainment don't really apply as much when one thinks before one speaks. 'Tempering' is a word I feel more comfortable using to describe what most people do before they open their mouths. (Some people probably do legitimately censor their true thoughts and feelings due to their desire to avoid conflict; other people have no system of blocking and do say whatever comes in their head without thought about the consequences.)

As to whether I think before I speak: yes. On the whole, I'm probably on the border between outright introversion and extroversion: on the scale of word vomit to word constipation, I probably end up more on the constipated side of the spectrum. (That sounded less disgusting in my head... but, this is part of my personality, dammit!) On the internet, I'm more open due to the ability to have more time to think about responses to questions and statements and events, especially in things like comment sections of websites and forums such as PC.

However, as has been pointed out by certain members above, it's in our actions - or our lack of action - that determine our personality. Our base instincts are base for a reason. Genetics ultimately play a key role, as well as developmental and environmental factors and, for the most part, we have no bearing on them.

Take relationships, for example: we don't decide sexual orientation or, even within this, which kind of people we're attracted to (blondes, brunettes, tall people, body hair... stuff like that). Likewise, when we find someone we do have an attraction to, we don't instantly admit our longing, animal desires to the poor individual. The whole Western concept of dating allows our true personalities to be revealed. To have our ids thrown in all directions would cause chaos. Would it be a more honest world if we word vomited over everyone? Undoubtedly, but it might not be a happier world.

Indeed, it's how people perceive their actions to have consequences that separates us from the aforementioned animals - well, that and perception of mortality. If we didn't think about the consequences of not only speaking, but everything we did, we'd end up in a dystopian Adam Smith horror world where life really would be nasty, brutish and short. Social contract theories of government (as well as the House episode mentioned by toujours) exist through people tempering their base instincts to reach agreement on certain points. It's in our willingness to do this that our personalities take shape.

So... yeah. Personalities =/= base impulses.

 

[Froslass]

I can understand the point your trying to make. I sometimes think stuff through before I speak out loud, but when I'm pressured or just really nervous and they ask me a question, I will say the first thing that comes to my mind. Obviously some people don't think at all even if they are not pressured or nervous. Sometimes even if your are pressured, think for about to seconds and think' is this sensible'? Sometimes if people don't think before they speak, it can cause a lot of problems because you might hurt that persons feelings. Some people can Accidently not think before they speak and might come out with a load of gibberish. I do understand the point you're trying to make. I think now, even if I am pressured or nervous I will still think it through, but sometimes if you say something that hurts the other person's feelings, it is rarely that it's fixable.

 

[Dark Piplup]

If I am angry its hard but otherwise I can censor my speech. Though it gets hard.

 

[XtinaIsMeLuvinWWE]

Haha my mind's sometimes at its most creative in the shower :)

What would the world be like... I think it would be more frank and to the point. So often people bite their tongues in apprehension of offending others or making them think badly of you. If we all just spoke the truth with no beating about the bush then it would probably save a lot of time lol.

For example, instead of people playing mind games on each other in relationships, it would save a lot of heartbreak to just be like "Look I like you," instead of for weeks analysing that person's body language to see if they're interested or not.

Do we censor our thoughts... that's actually a fantastic notion, never thought about that before :) I'd actually say we do... raw thoughts to me are the true thoughts, and as they're initial they're usually a more accurate portrayal of how you're feeling. By mulling things over, you're denying others the truth, in a way.

Having said that, I do bite my tongue on occasion :) Although most of the time I say the first thing on my mind, and the people around me have to hear it whether they like it or not lol. Most of the time though, this leads to me wanting to stuff the words back in my mouth and rewind time lol :D But hey, at least I was being honest :)

 

[WriteThemWrong]

for a quick question, people have a lot of thoughts about this.

people should definitely think before they speak, especially if they are in a position or situation where they could offend or alienate people. if you're with your friends you may think you don't have to because they are you're friends but if you're not careful you could say something really stupid. most people are socially adept enough that they can give it a quick thought but if you take a long pause before saying anything people will wonder what you were really going to say.

 

[Synaesthesia]

I think by thinking before we speak, we definitely censor ourselves. But that's making it sound like it's a bad thing. I don't think censor is the proper word here. By thinking before we speak, we filter our thoughts. What do we want to say, and what don't we want to say? I tend to say or do certain things without thinking, and it results in some people's feelings being hurt. Not because I wanted to, but just because I didn't initially realize that it would be offensive. If I had thought before doing, I would have filtered my actions or words so as to not hurt anyone.

But your question is about personality. Yes, our raw thoughts, our completely uncensored, or unfiltered thoughts are our personality at its core. But, I think personality actually suggests what you do rather than think. So, our immediate, impulsive reaction to something is our personality at its best. Opinion, though, that's another story.

Take for example the very first time I came across The PokeCommunity Forums. Cool, a community about pokemon lovers. I didn't join the very first time I stumbled onto PC. I decided to join because I could only download an attachment on a certain post by joining. But, my opinion on PC radically changed after a few months on the forum. So, I don't think that our impulsive and unfiltered thoughts are our true opinions, because what's an opinion really worth unless you've considered both sides?

People who refuse to believe there is a God because there is absolutely no scientific proof... Cool for you, dude. I'm agnostic myself, simply because I feel that, as human beings, we have no choice but to be agnostic. Will we ever truly know if there is a God? Probably not. Not during our lifespan, anyway. An opinion, without any other consideration for any other variables is not a true opinion. It's ignorance. But I digress.

Our immediate thoughts on certain things are not our core opinions. Our immediate reactions on certain things, however, are our core reactions.

 

[The Nightmare]

If I am angry its hard but otherwise I can censor my speech. Though it gets hard.

true.Because when you start swearing and you try to stop it's kinda hard to stop it from spilling out from your mouth when you are talking to someone.

 

[pastelspectre]

I don't really think before I speak to be honest. I never really have, even though all my teachers tell me to, but I regret it now. I mean, look where it got me on Facebook. Drama, drama, drama. And passing notes during class, oh god even worse. I couldn't shut my mouth about a certain something about her friends and now everyone of her friends are pissed off at me, except for a few.

Basically, no. I don't think before I speak.

 

[Brittani]

What a wonderful topic!

Well, I for one, think everything through my head. Every single thing I do is a thought process in my head that has to be approved of before doing so. The only time my thoughts are blocked is by anger. Whenever I'm angry I can't control myself and I get violent thoughts in my head. Most are too vile I cannot ever mention them. ever.

If humans said what came to mind, that barrier between the mind will eventually break. What will happen, is that soon you will not be able to think through things exactly the way they had before, if at all. Eventually the human race will lose the ability to do so as it will become an inactive part of the brain. This would be bad. This ability is a very unique ability of the brain we all use everyday. Without it, the world would never be the same.

Now it all leads back to the thinking before speaking which is tied up to thinking before doing. Would it be better if everyone just said what came to mind? Think about it like this. When you are angry at a specific person, thoughts storm your head. A lot of the time, people say what comes to mind but is not what they always mean. Have you been mad at someone and said something you didn't mean or should not have said? This is what it would be like for every human being, all the time. Not just when your angry. Sure, the thoughts would be different but that does not make it right. I know this ties up to being truthful but those are two different things all together.

While there are some facts scrambled in there, most of it is my personal opinions. So this is what I take of it.

 

[Umbreon Bob]

I very rarely think about what I say before I say it. It makes me an honest person and sometimes a bit of an idiot.

Edit: I am very good with words however so I guess it kinda evens it out.

 

[OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire]

The people would be like little kids who say things that are their mind (cause they don't know to filter out their thoughts just yet) so some of the time it will be funny things that come out of people's mouths and sometimes things that hurt other's feelings...

 

[Melody]

Personally I value honesty above all else. Nothing can change this about me, I'm sometimes honest to a fault, and I admit that.

I do however think before I speak, and be assured that if I didn't give myself sufficient pause to think, I would be the very definition of too talkative. In this way, it's a triumph of self-discipline that I'm actually a quiet natured person, mostly because if I can't be sure that what I wish to say is placed in the right place and time, I don't want to say it. When I speak and stand my ground it's because it matters. My posts in any place where posts do count toward postcount are quality posts, even if you disagree with the content.

This in and of itself is another facet of my personality which would rather not cause any unnecessary harm. Despite the fact that I often turn out page-long tl;dr posts that people groan at reading, they are a careful balance of my sincere feelings, which I cannot hold myself back from expressing, and the best control I can muster as far as wording, timing and other considerations such as offensiveness go. Nothing I've ever said to anyone on PC has had more than truth, or what I believed to be the truth at the time for even I can misread things or be deceived or even just have insufficient information to come to the correct conclusion and not know it, and the truth itself stings enough. I've amassed some enemies on that alone, so I KNOW it would be foolish to bear malice with it. My dislike or discontent is not malice. I don't bear malice toward many people, only those who bear it to me receive it back in turn. Despite that, I don't hate my enemies.

So anyways, back on to the topic, through all of this I believe that the fact that we can choose to filter what we say to some, as well as choose not to filter some things does in fact equate to our personality.

The personality of a person defines not only HOW they feel, but HOW THEY EXPRESS IT. Yes, it's true, there are elements of a persons' personality that they have no control over how it develops, but if you don't like a part of yourself you can cover it until you can change it, or learn to accept it, and as long as you don't take that to an extreme, it's healthy and normal in the grand scheme of things.

The rules of society are not a part of anyone's personality, they are the result of all people, of all personalities agreeing on a protocol or guideline of sorts for proper interaction with people you don't know. Breach of this protocol, in my opinion, is no reason to take up a beef with anyone. If they don't participate in the protocol or negotiate a modification, then I'm not compelled to be anything but polite and hope they learn from the example.

 

[Shining Raichu]

Watch 'The Invention of Lying'. That pretty much covers this whole topic.

 

[Freedom Fighter N]

What crazy things people think in the shower.. Tch.

Anyway I'm a honest person so I usually say what I think unless it might hurt someone's feeling so I avoid that. But yeah I do think before I speak. Not all the time though, it depends on various factors.