I don't have a phone. ^________^
I don't like any that are on sale anymore, it's never simply a phone where you push the numbered buttons and talk to someone, always lots of additional features. Games, music, internet, texting, camera... if I buy a phone, why can't it only be a phone? Oh plus they're so small, honestly now...
So that's why I don't have one, plus the fact I don't actually need one... But if I could have one of the older 'brick' phones from the 90s I'd go for it.