What's your view on Internet Romantic Relationships?

[Captain Fabio]

Does it do more harm than good?
It certainly doesn't exactly help more, but I don't think it harms more either.

Is it really possible to love?
I don't think so. Unless you have met that person in real life as well, I don't think you can truly love that person until you see the small things in real life.

Can it really last?
For some people, it really can work and last. But for me, I need something more physical. Someone there to actually talk face to face with.

Is it something to be weary of?
I wouldn't say to be weary of it. If it happens, it happens, simple.

 

[Corvus of the Black Night]

I don't really trust anyone to the point of a "romantic relationship" with someone that I can't be sure I see their real face.

If people would talk to people in real life more, they might find the love of their life right in front of their noses...

 

[digi-kun]

I can't really say I'm against it, I mean, the whole idea behind a relation starting on the internet is that it's easier to find someone you have compatibility with. Can't really say anything about doing harm and such, though it really depends on how serious each side is. Lasting...well, seeing as Blue and Siggy are still going strong, I'm willing to believe it can happen, though they still gotta meet up. That message targeting you two of course.

Eh, obviously there's that online facade factor with all that. People having completely different personalities offline, different people entirely, etc. There's also the popular news topic of the "30-year-old-man" on the other side...yeah, don't want to talk any further on that topic.

 

[ChariChu]

I believe that if it's meant to work out, then it'll work out. You can't get into an internet relationship and expect it to be easy, though. It's a lot of work, and can die very quickly if both partners don't make enough of an effort to keep things interesting.

I suppose for some people (myself included, to be honest) it is easier to open up to people and be themselves online than in real life. Perhaps some of these people feel that internet relationships are their most likely option to meet new people and date. I would consider it unfair to discourage internet relationships, even if most of them don't work out. I know there are a surprising amount of people who find their 'soulmates' online and end up moving in together/marrying, which is really lovely. Basically, if the love is worth the time and distance to both partners, then I think it could work.

We're not in a romantic relationship, of course, but I currently have a best friend living on the other side of the world. We met online 2.5 years ago, and are planning to meet in a few years. Our friendship keeps me sane, but the distance is utterly heartbreaking, at times. I imagine it would be the same for romantic relationships.

 

[A Pixy]

My opinion?

I find it incredibly creepy. Getting remotely involved with someone who might turn out to be 36-year old pedobear just scares me. And there are so many other issues I can think of, but I don't want this turning into a tl;dr. o3o

 

[Kura]

My opinion?

I find it incredibly creepy. Getting remotely involved with someone who might turn out to be 36-year old pedobear just scares me. And there are so many other issues I can think of, but I don't want this turning into a tl;dr. o3o

If you skype, you can find out if they actually are an old man/ woman/ pedophile.. so what then? What other issues are there?

 

[Cruelty And The Beast]

You need to be able to have physical contact...I don't see how a relationship can work without it....

 

[Kura]

True, but are you arguing that it wont work until then? What if someone had to wait 4 years to meet up because of financial situations? Would you think it wouldn't work until then?

You can have fatuous love, but then when you meet it can become consummate love easily. But do you really think people act differently online than they act offline?
Do you believe that an online love is rather.. an empty love?

(That love triangle is taken from Sternberg's psychological theory of love and is an actual psychological theory.)

 

[Captain Fabio]

My opinion?

I find it incredibly creepy. Getting remotely involved with someone who might turn out to be 36-year old pedobear just scares me. And there are so many other issues I can think of, but I don't want this turning into a tl;dr. o3o

Well, you would find out who they really were eventually. You wouldn't jump into a internet relationship straight away. If they refused to send you a picture of themselves, or if they won't go on cam or skype, I think you would have an idea of if they are who they say you are.

But I know what you mean still...

 

[Meganium]

I've been in one long-distance/internet relationship recently. I can tell you that my experience was torturous. It was hard to not to cuddle, kiss, or even see the guy in person every day when the only time you see him is at the other side of the computer screen. Also, trust and honesty was lacking so much before we decided to break up. *sigh* I wasted a year & 9 months of my life for this guy.

So, the advice? Simple. Make sure there's more than just chemistry in your long-distance/internet relationship, or it's not gonna go anywhere. I learned my lesson. I'm not saying don't go for internet dating; I'm only saying that sometimes about 50% of them kinda don't work out.

 

[Kura]

I've been in one long-distance/internet relationship recently. I can tell you that my experience was torturous. It was hard to not to cuddle, kiss, or even see the guy in person every day when the only time you see him is at the other side of the computer screen. Also, trust and honesty was lacking so much before we decided to break up. *sigh* I wasted a year & 9 months of my life for this guy.

So, the advice? Simple. Make sure there's more than just chemistry in your long-distance/internet relationship, or it's not gonna go anywhere. I learned my lesson. I'm not saying don't go for internet dating; I'm only saying that sometimes about 50% of them kinda don't work out.

I think trust is a big deal in any relationship, online or not. The same thing can be said for any relationship. If it's just chemistry, it wont go anywhere. There needs to be mutual understanding and commitment in every relationship, regardless if you could actually hug the other person or not.
With internet relationships, one upside is that you don't have to feel the pressures of having sex if you're not ready. You don't have to deal with any bad decisions with that. I guess it could also be a downside, in a way.. but it's an upside when you're not ready for it yet so you can focus on other aspects of the relationship.

 

[KanadeTenshi]

It depends on why you want a relationship and what you expect from a relationship. There are more obstacles, but nothing can stand in the way of love.

I told myself I would never, ever get into an internet relationship, because I believed that it would do more harm than good and that it couldn't ever work out. I certainly didn't go looking for a relationship, I was actually trying to avoid it, online or offline. It just developed naturally, and then I learnt that denying true feelings is far more harmful.

Anything can work if love is involved.

I don't think there is really any risk involved as long as you use common sense. Someone you first meet in reality is just as likely to be a serial killer, why does being on the internet suddenly mean there's a higher chance of them being a psychopath?

Agreed completely, except it's debatable whether "anything can work if love is involved" part.

My opinion?

I find it incredibly creepy. Getting remotely involved with someone who might turn out to be 36-year old pedobear just scares me. And there are so many other issues I can think of, but I don't want this turning into a tl;dr. o3o

That's just a worse-case scenario.

As for actually something actually topic-contributing, it happened to my brother. He was rather obsessed with her and he had like a week of depression when he decided it just won't work. He might start crying if I remind him of her so I dunno what to do. I dunno about her side, though.

 

[Yukimi]

I've never had an online relationship, but I don't see anything wrong with them. They're obviously very tough and there are bound to be some issues, but I commend anyone who will give it an honest effort.

 

[moon]

True, but are you arguing that it wont work until then? What if someone had to wait 4 years to meet up because of financial situations? Would you think it wouldn't work until then?

You can have fatuous love, but then when you meet it can become consummate love easily. But do you really think people act differently online than they act offline?
Do you believe that an online love is rather.. an empty love?

(That love triangle is taken from Sternberg's psychological theory of love and is an actual psychological theory.)

That's one interesting triangle XD

I've liked people online before, but it's only been slight infatuation. For me to really get a relationship going, I've noticed I have to see and touch (don't get any ideas) the person for real and pretty often at that.

I guess online relationships could work, for many actually, who don't feel they need that kind of physical intimacy. Some people are ok with that, even prefer it.

So I won't condemn internet romantic relationships, but I know I couldn't sustain one.

 

[mikey]

Internet Romance is fine with me, if you feel safe enough to do it, go ahead. Just make sure you actually know who your talking to, and be safe. You wouldn't want to find out your talking to some old creep after "dating" online for months.

 

[Abnegation]

I generally frown upon the idea, in relation to myself as well as most others. However, I'm open to it and I respect people who do involve themselves in these relationships, but my opinions for being morally against them will proceed this paragraph. I'm expecting many people to completely disagree with what I have to say, because it's quite easy to seem one sided on this matter, but I've actually given this a lot of thought and consideration, and seeing view points from other angles, but I do have my concluding opinion on the matter regardless.

Now, I'm going to be examining this from a health perspective. No one should be spending great amount of time on their computer and online to begin with, yet we all know how committed you can become when you're in a relationship, and from what I see, internet relationships seem to last quite long due to the fact that there's less elements and factors to take into account. Some people like this of course, which is what influences their decision to go into one. However, I'm aware of many online couples spending 16 or 17 hours a day online, and online together. I think that becoming attached to someone online in this way, having never met them, is a sign that you've let the internet take over your life, and it's not like this in all cases but by generalization, it's true. Now before too many people come in and try contradict me in saying that an online relationship is not for people who are "too attached" to the internet, I'm not saying that this is the only situation but by large people will engage in online relationships when they aren't comfortable with doing this in real life and that's the bottom line, in -as I say- most cases. It's simply unhealthy to spend so much of your time and dedication on the internet, regardless of who is on the other end of that screen.

In comes the "I love you" factor. This is such an oxymoron I don't even know where to begin. I don't think that you can fall in love with someone you've never met. If you have, well then I admit that it is plausible to tell someone you love them afterwards, even in an online relationship. Love is an intense feeling of affection, but to be in love with someone (ie. your girl/boyfriend) then you need to have that physical attraction, that presence, you two will have to have met each other in order to feel. Sure there's webcam and there's skype, but the real world is completely different. If you're happy in saying that you love someone in the world of the internet, then it is a different love, but if you mean in general, then you're wrong. You don't know what love is, and regardless of how often people try to contradict me on this matter I have yet to hear a substantial argument as to why I'm wrong on this matter. If you tell someone you love them online, you might think you mean it (having never met them), but once you see them in person; it'll be like telling a stranger on the street that you love them. The reason being, is that no matter how much you get to know someone online, your mind can only create a hypothesis as to what they're actually like, thus meaning that the person you "love", is not truly them at all. In some cases, I'm sure this hasn't been the outcome once the pair have met, but I'd be surprised to see such a miracle.

This is, morally incorrect in retrospect. Unhealthy, and one can not know true love, without knowing the person truly, and if they are not before your eyes as you spend time with them, how can you tell that what you see is love? I would love to hear of someone falling in love in real life, genuinely, and then saying that they had the same feelings for someone online. It doesn't happen.

An online relationship, born and flourishing on the internet; is purely a pseudo reality, any way I look at it. I respect it, but I do not believe in it.

 

[Kura]

SNIP

I take all of what you say into account and I agree with you on SOME level, but on another level, I disagree with you. I do respect your opinion, though.

I'll talk about my own personal experience to dispute your own opinion.. because I want to go by actual fact and not just by assumption.
First of all, I do want to let you know that people have met on PC before and have gotten successfully engaged, having a supportive family, and are getting married in a respective amount of time. How did this progress, you ask? Well I can't speak for every little detail of their relationship, nor how they felt.. but I can talk about my own.
I met a guy on MSN, actually. His name is Corey. And at this time I had been insanely busy with school. I would only go online once or twice a week for about an hour or two.. but every time I would, he would say hey to me, and me back. As school started to get a bit easier, we started spending more time together and talking to each other. A friendship started. As time progressed we moved to skype.. and started talking with voice. My schoolwork involves a lot of sitting anyways, so I'd sit on my drawing table with headphones and when doing my work we'd chat. It started becoming a daily thing. Well.. at some point he had showed me a picture of what he looked like, and I showed him a picture of me. I thought he was an extremely attractive guy.. and he thought I was attractive too. But I didn't want to pursue an online relationship even though I was attracted to his looks and his personality (We were basically best friends at this point) because I had been hurt by someone that I thought I loved online before. I did have an offline boyfriend BEFORE Corey, and after the other "relationship" but it wasn't the same.

There wasn't any chemistry.. and there was no sense of trust either.. it was just "Ok hey let's go on a date to get to know you"
It felt strange to me then.. that someone I had never met before could feel so much more real to me than an offline boyfriend. And that I had stronger feelings a millionfold than any guy before.

It got to a point where.. wherever I went I couldn't stop thinking about him. I'd go shopping and I'd see something and just think "Awh he'd love that" and we would snailmail each other little things and letters with colourful stationary.. but yeah.. wherever I went I just thought of him.. and it was then that I realized that I really loved him.
I told him and he said he loved me back. But it was still difficult because we were so far apart.
He got a new laptop with a webcam and everything so we could talk more easily and see each other.. and we would try to do things together like any other couple would try to do. We'd both bake cookies at the same time and then come online after and eat them together.. or get the same movie and play it at the same time and watch it together.
I don't necessarily think I was leading an unhealthy life.. nor him. I wasn't clingy.. because I trusted him a lot.. just because he is so caring and I really feel like he loves me. So when his friends come over or when they go out to drive into the city.. I WANT him to go and have fun. Because he needs a balance, too. He does the same for me. We're committed so we don't feel like it was being sneaky to see other people or anything crazy like that. We talk about all the important things in a relationship.. dreams.. expectations.. values.. and we're on the same page. That's why I don't agree that it is unhealthy. We don't need to be with each other every waking or sleeping moment. Yes we like to be with each other a lot.. but it doesn't mean I'm just here in front of my computer every day. I do other things. I go to class, and I go to the bar and grill with friends, and etc. We call each other on the phone if we're out the whole day just to say "hey I hope you're having fun and I love you" like any other normal couple. And when I'm online.. I do sometimes have skype on and just do some homework. He'll practice some bass and I'll work on an essay or a drawing and it's nice.

The only obstacle was distance. Yes.. love has to do with looks AND emotional attraction.. so why couldn't I say I was in love then? Physical contact is important, but as far as I was concerned, it was working, and working well. He made me really happy, and I made him really happy. But I do agree, physical contact is really important. If you really want to be together with someone, you DO need to be together. So that's what he did.
He promised me that we would go stargazing together before a certain date.. and he kept his promise. He came to visit me in a week in August.

And everything he was online, he also was offline. He was sweet, gorgeous, attractive, fun to be around.. and just.. he was the same person only in three dimensions. It felt so nice being able to hug him, kiss him, and hold his hand. And if it wasn't for my pursuit in the online relationship, then the real relationship would've never developed.. and I would've never found the love of my life. To be honest, I was afraid that he might be different offline.. but I kept faith. I didn't have my facebook status changed until I did meet him, because I wanted to make sure that it could really work. And it did, and so I was able to then let everyone know properly that I am in love.

We're still together, and there's still a distance.. so it's still hard in that respect.. but we still love each other.. and we're working together for a future where we can be together all the time. I'm working and finishing off school, and so is he. Right now we have these priorities that are important.. and it's important that we focus on them. In the meantime we plan to visit each other when it coincides with school breaks and all that. Our parents are both supportive.. my mom and dad like him and his mom and dad like me.. so right now.. everything is working out.

The point is.. I had an online relationship for about a year and a few months before I met him.. and we were close friends for longer. I feel that it was a SUCCESSFUL online relationship because we used it to take our relationship to the next level. Now I just consider it a long-distance relationship. It's still tough but we're committed. We have priorities that we're working towards so that we can have a good career so that we CAN support ourselves and be successful with each other in the future.

If it wasn't for our online relationship.. I would've missed out on the man who is the love of my life.. and an amazing supportive relationship that makes us both really happy.
And having an unsuccessful online relationship in the past shouldn't discourage you from trying it again as long as you've learned from what went wrong in the last one and you use that to approach the new relationship maturely.

Overall.. I feel like online relationships can be very successful when you know how to deal with it and you set your priorities straight and if there's the elements of an offline relationship present (trust, affection, commitment, etc.)

 

[Prometheus]

I think its freaky and sad, Sorry.

 

[Controversial?]

I've had one internet relationship, and that never really worked out for me. I think it's because I rely on intimacy a bit too much - I need to be able to love a physical prescence rather than someone over a webcam.

But maybe that's just me - I think that an internet relationship would work out for me if I had met up with that person IRL, but a completely internet-dependant relationship I don't think would work out.

 

[Headfirst For Halos]

Sadly, it's sometimes my only choice because the people I live around are quite shallow and think that I'm "weird" and "have no life" just because I don't like going out/drinking/parties/etc. People IRL are very judgmental of me, and I tend to despise that type of lifestyle because of it. =|