I'm in a similar boat, OP.
When I was a child, I never had any friends. From age four to ten, the only "friends" I had were the people who threw tennis balls at me and called me various names, such as "fat" and "ugly". They also distorted my first name because someone in my class had a similar name with the same pronunciation, but it was spelt in a way that they found more suitable. I was therefore called "Tay-Lore" instead of "Tay-lure" for four years, regardless my telling them not to call me as such.
When I was seven, I was molested by an aunt who got away with it. The same aunt also tried to make me smoke as well as steal from my grandmother. My mother was out of the picture; my father was neglectful. My father, siblings, cousins, and aunts resorted to calling me names like my peers, only it went far worse generally by extending to "*******", "shitface", and other hurtful comments. I had cable until age six; my father than removed it, saying it's crud. At the time, I was angry, but presently I'm thankful he did that since television is, indeed, crap.
When I was entering fifth grade (ten/eleven), I saw the world clearly for how monstrous it is. I still give people way too many chances, since I like to think that the world is a good place, but I'm just lying to myself. I started writing novels at this age because it was the only kind of "company" I could actually get that would let me control it and say how it feels. I found a few friends after changing schools at this time, but most of them didn't like me (perhaps I was too hyper-active?), and one even purposefully destroyed the first novelette that I wrote by dropping it in a bucket of water. Fortunately, her mother saved it for me by blowing it down with a hairdryer, but I'll always remember that.
Around thirteen was when I discovered my father was happy I was bullied my life. His reasoning? He believed it was because I was bullied that I wrote novels, my IQ shot up, and I became gifted in linguistics. I believe that the fact I was isolated from everyone my entire life perhaps allowed for these skills to develop, but I wouldn't agree with the method that my gifts became evident.
It is because of my tyrant peers and terrible family history that I have absolutely no social skills, and sometimes, I can't communicate properly and I insult people without meaning to. I also come off as obnoxious and arrogant, but really, I'm just extremely shy and friendly.
On the Internet, I can express myself better, and after becoming depressed around the age of thirteen and becoming addicted to my Internet friends, my father used that against me, too. He would threaten if I didn't do pretty much every housework-related job in the house, that he'd remove the computer - my "safe haven" from the darkness of my home. I did pretty much everything my father asked me to do for if not, I'd be detached temporarily from the only people I felt cared about me even a little bit.
Present day, I still have no social skills, and it has caused me a lot of problems. Working and dealing with customers traumatizes me; I will need to find a job in the future that doesn't deal with people, because people scare me to death if they're a customer. I'm very self-conscious; I'm afraid what people will think of me, what they will say, and how they'll react. I'm prone to crying if anyone raises their tone. Therapy didn't help; the woman basically said that the Internet was my issue, and not anything else. How could this be, if the Internet friends are the only ones that make me feel nice about myself?
If you don't socialize with people, it'll cause a lot of problems job-wise in the future. Popularity isn't that important; you just need basic socialization skills, or you'll end up in a worse state that I'm in. If you don't socialize, you're not a "loser". You most likely have your reasons because by nature, humans are sociable creatures. If you're not sociable, it's not your "nature", but merely a trait brought on by something that's happened in the past, or by a preference, such as reading, writing, etc. The people who thinks that socialization is "everything" because of popularity-related reasons have skewed views of the world. The only real importance for socialization is so you don't feel alone, vulnerable, insecure... and so that you don't have issues working, and of those other issues, you'll have someone to talk to about them.
I don't believe you're a "loser" if you don't socialize. Not at all. The people based on popularity, fads, and the cheap, ****ty music of modern day are the losers.
