View Full Version : Scott's Pokemon Journey

May 18th, 2008, 6:44 AM
UPDATE: I've edited the first comic 'cause it was very shaby and basicaly pathetic. There's a little change in the storyline but apart from that-.

Chapter 1: The Begining
Episode 1: http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/1268/episode2ex4.png Going for a Walk
Episode 2: http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/766/episode3xz2.png A Big Suprise
Episode 3: http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/867/episode4qt0.png The Impossible Nightmare
Episode 4: http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/6821/episdoe5yt5.png Welcome to Golhart
Episode 5: http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/4632/episode6jt2.png My First Battle

Chapter 2: http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/5866/episode7kp6.png The master of all Matter
Episode 6: http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/3489/epsiode8ci7.png The Journey to Golhart
Epsiode 7: http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/5238/epsidoe9tz4.png Lake Side Slumber
Episode 8: http://img234.imageshack.us/img234/7915/episode10xb4.png The Proffesor's Invatation
Episode 9: http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/3489/episode11nl1.png Mansion go Boom!
Episode 10: http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/89/episode12mc2.png Team Galactic?!

This is my first comic and It's a bit shabby but please say what you think.

Thanks a bunch to Aoh Nay for the great tiles.
Thanks to Paradox and Kike for some of the sprites. (not sure what forum they're on :/...)

May 18th, 2008, 6:55 AM
Hokay, first off, I am going to say bad things, and it's going to help you because you're going to listen to me.

First off, this is your first comic, correct, well, it's pretty much supposed to suck. I don't expect anything else. Now, first off, it's hard to read your comic because I'm constantly scrolling up and down to look at the panels and to read the script. Solution? Text Bubbles. Use them, want them, eat them.

Second off, save your comics as a PNG file, not as a .bmp or a .jpeg. Those just look bad altogether.

And use Fr/Lg sprites, they look better and fit better with most maps. Go to spriters-resource.com for sprites.

And about your plot. I don't know if you think you're original, but you're not. It's been done a thousand times. You need something to make your comic unique. Think of something completely new and original. Otherwise your plot is boring and predictable.

About the red lines and numbers. Make all your panels the same size, and line them up in rows.


Then you don't need those number and so you have more space. As for the red lines, although it takes more time, usually you just have one sprite per panel. Check out FuzzyMuzzy's Contest Challenge and you'll see what I mean. You move the sprite between panels as to show movement. Notice how in one panel they'll be in one place, but in the next they'll have moved and such. The only problem is that many people have walking scenes where all it is is walking, no dialog, and it's very boring.

Use good grammar, real words, avoid chatspeak, and make it interesting.

That should cover it all! Good luck and don't quit. We don't expect your first comic to be like FuzzyMuzzy's. Just keep at it and you'll progress, especially with the help of crit.

Showapool Kwesi
May 18th, 2008, 6:57 AM
These arn't very good.

Gramatic mistakes, spelling mistakes, blurry comic etc.

Keep it up though, we all have to start somewhere :)

May 18th, 2008, 7:26 AM
Thanks for your comment. Thanks about the PNG File thing. I've always wondered how to make it none blury. I'm currently making the next episode and your comments have really helped :).

Showapool Kwesi
May 20th, 2008, 8:56 AM
Just a little bit confusing lol :)

May 20th, 2008, 9:17 AM
Made two comics in one day :D... YAY ME!!! Please check it out and post any ideas for the storyline. Remeber, you help make the comic :D (Cheesy or what?)

May 20th, 2008, 2:58 PM
Okay, it's a little confusing, it helps to explain it with dialog (Nice use of Bubbles!).

For instance during the tree scene;

Hmm.. Wait, that tree wasn't there-
What the?!

The new comics are still better though, especially the third. Just keep working at it!

May 24th, 2008, 4:42 AM
There's my next comic done. Please check it out everyone :).

UPDATE: I've edited the first comic 'cause it was very shaby and basicaly pathetic. There's a little change in the storyline but apart from that-.

May 28th, 2008, 3:17 PM
Nice comic. But try to make your speech bubbles pointy. By that I mean make them point to the person talking because I had a little trouble knowing who's talking.

May 28th, 2008, 9:51 PM
Nice comic. But try to make your speech bubbles pointy. By that I mean make them point to the person talking because I had a little trouble knowing who's talking.

Yeah, me too. Anyway, your comic is nice.

May 31st, 2008, 7:07 AM
thanks guys. I'll add the points in the next episode :D...

May 31st, 2008, 8:00 AM
Try zooming in when your characters speak it creates more drama and makes the sprite comic in general look more professional. I suggest looking up the Pokemon X sprite comic as inspiration it was the original one and could provide a lot of lessons in what to do a and sometimes... what not to do.

May 31st, 2008, 1:19 PM
Well, it's alright. Not the best i've seen, but, like i said, it's alright. A couple pointers, though:
1. PLEASE never ever mix your tilesets! I was reading the first couple, and the battle began in something out of Mystery Dungeon! AND Diamond and PEARL?! Don't mix, pick one and stick to it.
2. Umm...some of the scenes are a tad cofusing...That one with the tree, how'd it get there?! He wakes up in two different places?! And how did he get through that cave after seeing the girl?!
3. This is moving way to fast. Please, don't rush to appease the audience; you'll lose them if you do. Show the training, elaborate more on battles. Oh, and don't just randomly begin a plot, such as with the Master of All Matter chapter. You jumped too fast, pal.

Well, i hope that helped. Good Luck!

June 1st, 2008, 5:02 AM
I know mixed tilesets :/ just thought it would look better. The bit where he went through the cave was not shown because... well I don't know. I should of turned that into a story. The master of all matter bit will explain itself in the next few episodes. Thanks for your comments (not) :I

June 1st, 2008, 7:53 AM
I hope you didn't mean "not" as in you didn't like criticsm, because that's all it was. Like i said, it's alright for a first try, i just want to see it improve along the way, is all. I'm sure i'm not alone. Just keep going and please don't bash my comments!

June 1st, 2008, 8:45 AM
Sorry. I was in a bad mood at the time I didn't mean to offend. I'll keep those comments in mind and about the tree thing. The episode title sorta gives it away :/...