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Triumph Of The True Darkness

mewunlimited

is yet to be discovered
84
Posts
16
Years
  • Chapter 1

    As willis looked ahead, he noticed the full moon which always gave him inspiration. He oppend the newspaper in his hand. The weather showed clear skies untill monday (which was in three days). But something caught his eye.

    It was a column on the paper which was written by the elite four lucian. Apparently, he felt the population of phychic pokemon was at an all time low. It struck willis because there had been rumors of the go-rock squad and team galactic teaming up to capture pokemon with psi abilities to fuel an all powerful machine that would awaken the legendary pokemon of time and space once again and this time, without the help of the red chain. But then again. . . just rumors.

    Willis looked down the hill he was on top of. His pokemon were having a good time searching for berries. His flygon (called dusty) was doing some co-ordination with his kirlia to produce a basket of lums and aspears. While quilava was looking bewildered because he burnt all the berries he found and his buizel was having fun taunting quilava.

    "I see you are lonely," called a voice
    "come out cassie," said willis
    "well if you beg," cassie taunted "I might consider it."
    "Oh forget-,"
    "Im joking!" she laughed

    Cassie had been a friend of his for quite some time. She had trained her pokemon with him and they were always competing. Today she wore a jacket with a nike logo and trousers.

    After straightening herself cassie annonced"Im here for another battle."
    "Oh really," teased willis
    "Well of course,"she said "Go, espeon!" and her purple pokemon appeared raising his hackles.
    "Pshycic for pshyic then," He shouted "Come up here kirlia!" and in the blink of an eye, kirlia had teleported up the hill.

    The battle started.

    "Kirlia use double team now!"
    Kirlia split into ten imaes, each very lifelike.
    "Then espeon, hit 'em all!"
    Espeon proceded with a mighty psywave which destroyed all ten of the clones.
    Cassie was shocked "but how?"
    "Now kirlia," willis ordered "Attack with pshycic!"
    Kirlia delivered a mighty blow to espeons mind through sheer concentration, and in minuites espeon was down on the ground.
    "I guess you won this time," cassie sighed

    Far, far away, Cyrus thought of his home in sinnoh. Why was he stuck with a bumble of baffled buffons. But that would soon be corected with the help of the third, of darkness.
     

    Sydian

    fake your death.
    33,379
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • There are a many things wrong with this. For starters, it's too short. There's also a lack of description, emotion, and there's a lot of capitalization that's needed.

    When another person is going to speak, you should hit the enter key twice.

    And what does Willis look like? Cassie? And what about Dusty, Kirlia, Quilava, and Buizel? What's the scenery look like?

    Take time to write the things that need to be written.

    -Silver
     
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