Pokemon Phoenix Flame (adventure)

Hello.
I am delyemerald2 and this is my story of Pokemon.

Chapters:

1# THE BEGIN! ( small )
1. Mega Drought?!
2. Cold Weather Mystery!
3. Ice Relic?
4. Dusk Town
5.

2# Special Chapter #1
1.

3# CONTINUE TO THE NEXT BADGE ( medium )
1.

(
Example:
0#( Chapter number ) Prologue ( Chapter name )
1. Prologue ( finished )
2. Prologue 2 ( Upcoming )
3. ( Unamed )
)




-CHAPTER #1-
The Begin!
1. Mega Drought ?!
In the world of Pokemon an new adventure starts when Ash and his friends are heading to Eugenia, an Legend believing region.
But what is waiting for them is the most unbelievable that they ever saw. But are they going to see that? That's all up Adius, the writer of this story. He doesn't know that self. It's becuase it's an old legend that ever was telled in the tomb of the wise Regigigas. It all starts on the 31 of December... the day of the Blue Sun...

Date: 31- 12- 2008
Time: 0.00, 12
Locations: Rain Peak, Dawn Town, Unkown place

The sun rised above Rain Peak. On that moment Moltres appeared. Moltres showed his Breath of Luck and Happines to the whole region.
Too on that moment Team Rocket was hunting on Ho-Oh.
Jessie:" We'll never catch him! "
James:" O, we'll do! "
Meowth:" Except if Ho-Oh uses his- "
Ho-Oh:" GRHOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!! ( SPEED ROAR! ) "
Ho-Oh fled using the new discovert attack, Speed Roar. It makes speed increase and in battle can inflict lots of damage! But Ho-Oh used it o come at the wrong place...

Meanwhile by Moltres-

Moltres this time showed his mighty fire moves: Flamethrower, Fire Fang and Fire Blast. Rain felt down from Rain Peak.
At Dawn Town everyone came outside. Everyone except Adius. Adius stayed inside watching. Adius was 13 years old about 24 hours. better said the first day of 2009! But he wasn't happy... He never laught anymore outside his house since he was 8... Exactly as Tory he was attacked by Pokemon then but he with his best friend. It was an girl named Kira who was with him. Kira disapeared and was never found anymore. But that's under her name becuase Kira still is outside but under other name... she is the nysterious Deoxs.
Adius was thinking about what Kris said, a girl of his school who is in love on him.
Adius:" "Never forget what that event stands for... You must try to fid her on you own. Only the wingull's mom can find him becuase he always know how to find her..." What do i must with that?! She always says that kind of things! "
Exact on that moment Ho-Oh's attack worked out he came face to face at Moltres. Moltres was then doing the last thing he must do. The only thing Moltres could do was try to defeat Ho-Oh...

Next part of this Episode is coming tommorow!

Ok well for starters you misworded alot of stuff. Second you spelt alot of stuff wrong. Finally it was just a little boring. I mean if you put a little more of description and stuff I would have been grasped into it more. Don't worry everybody makes thes kinds of mistakes.

Before I give a proper review, change the font back to the default. Take out the red, the bold, and the arial font. Always keep it as the default font. One thing about the red font is that it's a difficult color to read.

When the font is fixed, I'll be back.

Pikalover10 said:

Ok well for starters you miss-worded a lot of stuff. Second you spelt a lot of stuff wrong. Finally it was just a little boring. I mean if you put a little more of description and stuff I would have been grasped into it more. Don't worry everybody makes these kinds of mistakes.

Click to expand...

Yeah, this reminds me of my first version of my first fic, except mine was longer, but you'll get it eventually.

Make sure to use description for Pokemon, people, places, and attacks.

Avoid using " : " where possible. There shouldn't be any lists in your writing.

Changing the font size and color is in your best interest(considering it is against the rules). Please read the rules to help the experience here for you, and for your readers.

EDIT: *Smacks forehead* It's script form too, also against the rules.