Runner

Three years have passed since former mayoral candidate Robert Pope was murdered in his office. The infamous clan known as the Runners has grown since then. Merc, the head of the clan, was killed due to a severe gun shot wound to the lung. In his dieing words he asked Faith Connors to take his place. Now with Faith Connors at the top of the clan, she has recruited over three hundred runners all over the world. Keith Williams is one of those recruits. Now with his city becoming corrupt with Blues, Keith has turned to Faith for guidance. Without her help, the city would be doomed to a horrible government filled with lies and deception.

...To Be Continued...

Give me your suggestions

Oh yes! Mirror's Edge! *Highfives*

It sounds good. Hope you continue with it.

Blunt review coming. Sorry. It's just what I do.

Okay, I'll have to start off with one big note. A prologue is not a summary. It's an actual scene that essentially sets the stage for the rest of the story. As in, you're not supposed to actually just summarize past events. What you're supposed to do instead is actually have characters do something, just like you would in any other chapter. It just so happens that the chapter in this case takes place before the main action of the story.

That said…

Merc, the head of the clan, was killed due to a severe gun shot wound to the lung.

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Side note, but unless you're not getting hospital attention immediately, you can actually still function on one lung. It's if both collapse that you're in trouble.

In his dieing

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Dieing = to engrave.
Dying = to die.

Be very careful about that because it's a common error that actually gets a few chuckles from those of us who are grammar whores.


Other than that, I really wasn't all that pulled in because, frankly, I don't quite know what's going on. I don't know who Faith Connors is or Keith Williams. I don't know what they look like, what they're like as people, or anything else. I don't know the difference between Runners and Blues, and I don't know what's significant about either. Most importantly, I just don't know what this world is like. The government's apparently full of lies and deceptions here, but that can be said of a lot of systems.

If this is a fanfiction, sure, you might be able to get away with not telling the reader the basics (as in, glancing over what familiar characters look like), but even then, that doesn't mean you should just be summarizing events up until the main part of your story in the prologue. In other words, you're not really setting things up to pull the reader in. As in, we can't really imagine much of anything here. There's literally no description. Just a summary.

Simply put, yeah, you'll want to really rethink what a prologue is meant to do, and I would suggest revising before you post your first chapter.

lol the funny thing is...your right! haha I'll revise it lol.