Destiny MUST READ!!! MUST READ!!!

That was sad.It was trust and then beteryal for the girl .Good Poem.

thanks ^^ your so trusty.. lol XD i knew you would post

Its still sort of unclear of whats being delt with in this poem, just to guess is it something that is drug related or of "something else" if you know what I mean (can't say on these forums).

But nonetheless it was enjoyable read. Its easily seen that you put some thought into writing this, and it shows nicely with the whole flow of the poem and how it just comes together from beginning to end, great job!

xXxLaYdee0rIgInxXx said:

hey guys, i hope you like this poem.. I just made it now.. ^^
please tell me what you think
...

?Destiny?
Destiny was calling her,
She reached out her hand.
She figured out it was the dark side,
But she was already sucked in.

She decided it wouldn?t hurt
to try it just once.
Only a little bit,
wouldn?t hurt right?

This isn?t destiny,
this is cruel fate.
She loved him so much,
she trusted him.

But that one fateful day,
she started to fade away.
Everyday she needed some more,
he supplied her for a sick price.

He wouldn?t stop,
no, that was the price she paid.
She loved him, too.
It was a shame how he treated her.

That was the day,
that she faded away.
He supplied,
and that poor girl died.
1/21/05 ~origin

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Awwws, that's so sad. ;-;

I think it starts as many relationships do. You think you've fallen in love. You'd do anything for that special person. You think you'll be together forever, yet at a horrible price, you give up your soul to that person.

You're no longer free, but a prisoner of your own desire. You start to be forced into things you're not ready for yet, but you do them anyway for that one person you love.

Then you begin to be used, you are treated more like property instead of a lover. Then your body and soul are taken captive, and you eventually die. 'Tis a sad thing, and it truly happens too. ;-;

Awsome poem Julia, this one was great. The flow is just a bit scratchy, but you can fix it. Maybe add a bit more to the poem, or just flip some words around. ^_~

No spelling errors either, so you can only imagine how happy that makes me. XD

Shweet poem Julia, great work. ^^

~Kelsey

=D yay i must be getting better!! Kelsey and LT liked it =D *stares dreamily*

there goes my good day XD good job, julia-chan ^ ^ i liked it, reminds me that i have some stuff to post, oh well i'm too lazy -________________________-;

xXxLaYdee0rIgInxXx said:

=D yay i must be getting better!! Kelsey and LT liked it =D *stares dreamily*

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Of course you're getting better Julia. ^______^ As long as you keep writing poetry and try your best, all you can do is improve. ^_~

~Kelsey

Aww... it's a sad ending. But even though the ending was sad, I loved it. I loved how you ended it I mean. xD;

I also love your choice of words, it could be applied to almost every topic. (The 1st thing that went through my mind while reading this was drug dealing... o.o; )

But it's really beautifully written. =3