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lost in the dark

digi-kun

digi-kun

Hourai NEET
4,638
Posts
20
Years
    • Age 34
    • Seen Mar 12, 2018
    I told Onigiri that I'd write a poem, so here it is...

    Lost in the Dark

    The creeping darkness
    of silent night
    bringing the horrors of endless frights

    Sitting alone
    longing for a sign of hope
    from the light of a door

    For through that door
    lies hopes and dreams
    a perfect world
    of things unseen

    free your mind
    and see the light
    and embrace the joy
    of an endless flight

    then fade away
    from the endless dream
    no matter how real
    the illusion may seem

    the truth is out there
    you just have to find
    the answer of answers
    in the abyss of your mind
     
    Last edited:

    Natsuki

    .bluefang.
    5,046
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Ooooh, this is a really neat poem, digi. ^_______^ This poem shows the concept of being lost and alone. Sometimes you may be surrounded by loved ones, yet feel as though you're in a darkened room by yourself. Sometimes, people can be consumed by darkness and fall into a realm of peril and sadness...

    I have a few suggestions for you to have to improve this poem. ^^ You should really capitalize the first letter of the first word in each line, that's just proper poetry ettequite. ^^

    Also, you need (Yeah I know, I'm picky. XD) to have a comma or period or something after every line of poetry. This not only makes your poem look nicer, but the flow is much easier to follow too. ^______^

    Great work though, digi. ^^ I hope you write some more poems soon. =D

    ~Kelsey
     

    Miyu-chan

    .::f l o w e r g i r l::.
    5,956
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Age 35
    • Seen Apr 23, 2014
    I <3 the rhythem in this poem, 'cept for the second paragraph... <<; It sounds out-of place.

    I like the theme of this whole poem also, don't we all have an illusion?

    The poem reminds me of myself also... o.o;

    I <3 your poem, I hope that I'll see more from you, Digi. n____n
     
    digi-kun

    digi-kun

    Hourai NEET
    4,638
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Age 34
    • Seen Mar 12, 2018
    o i think i missed a line there...but i already threw it away so...
     
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