View Full Version : First Prey (poem)

April 20th, 2005, 4:08 PM
The battle is over and innocent blood has been spilt.
My victims unfortunate body fell prey to my flame.
But I cant help this feeling Im simply no longer the same;
My stomach seems sick and my heart filled with horrible guilt.

My eyes start to wet, uncontrollably wanting to weep.
My heart screams in pain when I look at the corpse with regret;
I dont want to kill, I just want to live and forget.
Slowly, with sadness, I let myself drift into sleep.

I dream of my future, I see myself treated with fear;
The others respect me but only because I can kill.
All of them mindlessly, fearfully obey my will:
The horrified whimpers are oddly appeasing to hear.

I wake up with knowledge that killing will do me no bad,
My feelings like ice; neither angry nor happy or sad.

Reya Boyens
April 20th, 2005, 7:16 PM
This is good. I mean, it's different. You've chosen interesting lines to rhyme, but you've made it work. It's wonderfully nondescriptive. Seriously, it's a good thing. it gets in depth with the emotions, but by not giving a specific example, you've left it open to interpretation. Good job.

Eevee Trainer
April 23rd, 2005, 5:02 AM
It's different but I like it