View Full Version : do you remember

code zerro the deluge
December 17th, 2005, 4:52 PM
do you rember
the things we did in september
or in december
i don't care about the date

do you think
of all the times we ate
of all the times we drink
of all the time we played

you are my queen
and i am your king
to be
forever you and me
no one can come between

on and on and on and on and
on the phone
all day and all night long

do you rember
the times with are brothers and sisters
and the dinner
it was the in all ways
hey on and on and on and on and

yeah my baby
you are my lady
and today and forever is your day
you and me always
it's you and me's days

December 17th, 2005, 4:58 PM
I see some improvements.

1) You may need to use caps. It looks nicer.
2)it is spelling. I think you use some words wrong and like knight for night.
3) To much repeating like on and on. Reminds me of songs.