View Full Version : The Rejected

Libra Dyne
January 5th, 2006, 5:25 PM
The feeling of conspiracy,
can shroud the hearts of those in pain,
they look upon them as toys,
when it is the rejected who are still sane,

They try to open themselves,
but are always closed by the hopeless,
They hang like puppets on a string,
Lifeless and loveless,

Here they come again,
only desiring welcoming hand,
That is one thing they shall never recieve,
From those Who shun their very face,
they will always be decieved.

give your thoughts please
does it suck or is it good or whatever you want to say

January 6th, 2006, 7:41 AM
Its interesting, you might definitely have to read it a second time or more to have a understanding of it, but when you do you begin to see it all come together.

Sort of a positive message to not take rejection, if you're ever rejected on anything, and to always try to "get back up there", because if you don't you'll just retain that feeling of not being good enough for society.

My only real critique I can give you, is at the beginning when you said:

"The feeling of conspiracy," changing that to Rejection might make your poem easier to understand to the readers, as it can cause some confusion to the whole point of the poem.

But all and all.. nicely done ^^