Saving Me (poem) -PG-

This is a poem I wrote for a girl I knew. It's 100% true. Other than the fact that I wrote "hell" once, it's fine for a 4-year-old to read.

EDIT: I just realized that there's a poems sub-forum. Whoops!


-Saving Me-

You were, I was,
Life had begun.
The history we had
Was little to none.

But we were together.
In a sea of faces.
And to get to you
I'd walk just a few paces.

But then fate came and struck,
You got farther away.
Here, I was stuck.
And there you would stay.

Time passes on,
And you were forgotten.
I became foul,
Twisted and rotten.

I did some bad things,
I hated myself.
It wasn't your fault,
But I was in hell.

I cried every night,
And pained every day.
I wanted a way out,
So I'd sit and pray.

And in my confusion,
As plain as day,
I saw your face.
Was this the way?

After that, at nighttime, instead of crying,
I'd think of you.
And during the day, instead of sinning,
I'd think of you.

And sure as it happened,
I started turning around.
Today, I am different,
Pure and sound.

But incomplete.

I no longer do evil.
I help those I see.
But I fell in love
With you saving me.

You gave me purpose,
The purpose was love.
You gave me strength,
The strength to hold on.

Every night's a little better.
Every day's a little brighter.
Though I still hold my scars,
Like a war-torn fighter.

But I am still stuck here.
And you are drifting farther away.
We've got one last lifeline,
I hope it won't stray.

During this whole ordeal,
You were blissfully unaware.
Meanwhile I burned inside,
But not from before,

Because of our position.

If you never know about it,
How can we be?
And what will I do
If you reject me?

Born under the same sky.
We learned as children under the same roof.

And then it all happened.
I did some bad things.

But when all came to worse,
You unknowingly saved me.

And now I love you.
But do you love me?

Awww *tear* what a cute poem! Please write more soon!

That's a great poem. I can't see anything wrong with the rhythm at all. The last few lines, I experienced once... I could never write it in a poem though. ^_^

I had no idea that people actually liked my rambling poems. I just wrote it one day. I would like to tell the whole story behind the poem, which is all true and non-fiction, but the girl in the poem is a member here! I'm afraid she'll see.

But yeah, she and I went to elementary school together. We were friends, but kids don't usually fall in love as kids, so nothing really happened. But she moved away, and I sub-consiously knew that a piece of me left with her. The years passed, (just a few, mind you, we're only 15) but I never forgot her. This is the stupid part- she was still away, right? And, like most 15 year old boys, I got into some trouble (I won't get into details here). And I was in serious physical pain. Stomach ulcer, actually. I still have it. But it was caused from my stress, my insecurity. Anyway, one night, I was crying in bed (not something 15-year-old boys do) when I asked God for a way out of this hell. That night I dreampt of her. Ever since, signs have been showing up everywhere. I don't do those bad things anymore. Now, I'm in love with someone I don't really know who doen't know me. Stupid, or lovely? I'm not sure. I'm just figuring a way to tell her so she doesn't get scared and run. All I know is that I have feelings for her. I think...

Something similar happened to me, but just recently. Stupid yet lovely is what I think.

Dude

Haha this is your bestfriend Mike dude Nice I like the poem. Its really good.