View Full Version : Rescue Me

code zerro the deluge
October 20th, 2006, 7:54 PM
Rescue from this man made hell
I hate leving here I want to leave now
Rescue me ring the bell
Cause my life sucks and I'm ready to go

I cant stay here any longer
I have been shot down
Muderd spirte and soul
But you you still say why?

But I say over and over again
Save me before I am slain
Cause I dont want to leave you
I cant do with out you

Kurosaki Ichigo
October 21st, 2006, 3:03 AM
Well I guess its okay...you have quite alot spelling mistakes as well, also is this ment to rhyme?

October 21st, 2006, 12:21 PM
At first glance, it seems a bit cliché, but who am I to judge that?

I'd have to take off for the spelling mistakes and lax English, but otherwise...

I've read your older stuff. All 6,000,000 or so of them. ...Lol

You've written a .ton. of material in this section. But most of them didn't have any real change in style or anything. Mostly rap, and most of which I didn't like very much.

Though it may be a little cliché in my opinion, it's a step in a different direction for you. If your future work is more like this, but on different topics, I think you may get some more views.

Review: Favorable.

- John

code zerro the deluge
October 21st, 2006, 2:47 PM
thanx Blackheart. you are my favorite poet on here so thanx for saying that.