This is a small portion of years worth of internal conflict I have never spoken. I love you if you actually read all of it. This is just a need for me to put all these thoughts down, so I don't implode.
I have had a pre-paid card that my weekly allowance goes on to so I can manage my own money for a few years now.
We had to re-activate it because I turned 18, so I now have a full account that I can do things on.
I wanted to start a saving and checking account, savings is self-explanatory, and a pre-paid card has some limitations because certain things like paypal verify you by a number that's on your checks; which a pre-paid card doesn't have.
You need $25 to start each individual one. I have the money for both but I wanted at least a savings account.
My mother always does this. I already know what the problem is and what the answer is. The initial deposit has to be by a non pre-paid card so I just need money from her account to start it and I can give her money in return.
No. She has to go back to square one and do the whole process again because I'm too much a effing idiot to figure things out myself. If I read a piece of paper that details instructions or information on something I think she might want to know, she starts reading it word for word to me like I don't understand it.
I don't even need her to look at it but she'll act like I'm giving her some big task of doing whatever it is for me when I'm just showing her stuff that's happening. 90% of the kids I know don't talk to their parents unless they need something signed.
She'll do it with art too. I say "I need Prang Watercolors with the 8 basic colors." and she's got to ask "Are you sure these are the right ones?" "Are you sure it's not 16?" "I don't know if these will work on all types of paper." ("My teacher said ____." "Well maybe she's wrong and you need _____."
Yes, you Mrs. I-can't-draw-a-stick-figure knows more than my teacher with a Masters in Fine Art.)
"They have ___, ___, ___, ___, ___, ___, and ___ of these kinds." Like I can't read and see that myself. She pointed at a painting in a picture and said
"That's yours!"
"No it's not."
"Yes it is!"
LIKE I DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WHITE CHARCOAL DRAWING OF MY OWN FACE AND THE RING I WEAR EVERYDAY ON BLACK PAPER FROM A PAINTING ON A WHITE CANVAS OF A DIFFERENT PERSON!
Back to the first rant.
The answer is simple to me, and I say "It's just a matter if you will pay the money for me."
She says it shouldn't work for non-military personal yet I have an account that was just verified by the company, I've got through 6 steps of starting it up, and it says the only requirements are verification of personal information and the initial deposit.
She says I really don't need to be messing with checking and savings right now, more like in the summer before college. Totally, let's save for two months on $25 before college. Good idea! I still haven't been able to get a job but if I sell art in my Senior Art show, do finally land a job, and just want to put my allowance in, I want to be able to put things in my savings quickly. It's not like they started me one.
She says lets just do it on Friday when she gets paid, don't know if we have the money.
We always don't have the money. When I need to go to hobby lobby to get art supplies for a project, we don't have the money, lets get it later. When I want Taco Bell one night I ask to go out and eat too much. Yet when Daddy gets (not asks, has already gotten) a hunting rifle, she's upset because he spent the money on something like that (not that he spent money) so in retaliation buys a new outfit and takes us out to eat at a $20 per person restaurant, and later complains we have no money so I need to ride the bus. And not a word is spoken about her $30 carton of cigarettes every four days.
And it's always later. Unless it's something she wants to do, why can't we postpone it till later?
Every excuse is just because she doesn't feel like doing anything unless it pertains to her.
My sister sits down.
"Hey, what are you taking those pills for?"
"I have a fcking headache."
Oh, how delightful to see you this evening sister.
I love my mother. This isn't sarcastic. I'm not going to say untrue things and regret it later, but this things are just grating to me. This slobish laziness, self-centered attitude that every day I grow more tired of and wonder how in the world I ever said "Mommy's so smart! I don't know if I could be a good mother like her."
Actually I do. I was ignorant. She's still ignorant as any I-turn-into-a-unresponsive-vegetable-while-I-watch-TV-when-my-daughter-spills-a-cup-of-tea-on-herself-and-screams American, and I am not, and I feel sorry she is this way.
TL;DR
1. On Friday take out $25, hand it to my mother, use her card to start a checking account with $25.
2. Get a job.
3. Sever all my financial ties that have to be managed by my parents because they don't know what the hell they are doing.
Yes, that includes college. If I can I want the student loans to be in my name only and they won't pay anything. I admit that I will need help with the start up costs of living fees, but if I can help it I'll pay as much of that as I can and no cent of my tuition will be payed by them.
....
*melts* Fweh.
I have had a pre-paid card that my weekly allowance goes on to so I can manage my own money for a few years now.
We had to re-activate it because I turned 18, so I now have a full account that I can do things on.
I wanted to start a saving and checking account, savings is self-explanatory, and a pre-paid card has some limitations because certain things like paypal verify you by a number that's on your checks; which a pre-paid card doesn't have.
You need $25 to start each individual one. I have the money for both but I wanted at least a savings account.
My mother always does this. I already know what the problem is and what the answer is. The initial deposit has to be by a non pre-paid card so I just need money from her account to start it and I can give her money in return.
No. She has to go back to square one and do the whole process again because I'm too much a effing idiot to figure things out myself. If I read a piece of paper that details instructions or information on something I think she might want to know, she starts reading it word for word to me like I don't understand it.
I don't even need her to look at it but she'll act like I'm giving her some big task of doing whatever it is for me when I'm just showing her stuff that's happening. 90% of the kids I know don't talk to their parents unless they need something signed.
She'll do it with art too. I say "I need Prang Watercolors with the 8 basic colors." and she's got to ask "Are you sure these are the right ones?" "Are you sure it's not 16?" "I don't know if these will work on all types of paper." ("My teacher said ____." "Well maybe she's wrong and you need _____."
Yes, you Mrs. I-can't-draw-a-stick-figure knows more than my teacher with a Masters in Fine Art.)
"They have ___, ___, ___, ___, ___, ___, and ___ of these kinds." Like I can't read and see that myself. She pointed at a painting in a picture and said
"That's yours!"
"No it's not."
"Yes it is!"
LIKE I DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WHITE CHARCOAL DRAWING OF MY OWN FACE AND THE RING I WEAR EVERYDAY ON BLACK PAPER FROM A PAINTING ON A WHITE CANVAS OF A DIFFERENT PERSON!
Back to the first rant.
The answer is simple to me, and I say "It's just a matter if you will pay the money for me."
She says it shouldn't work for non-military personal yet I have an account that was just verified by the company, I've got through 6 steps of starting it up, and it says the only requirements are verification of personal information and the initial deposit.
She says I really don't need to be messing with checking and savings right now, more like in the summer before college. Totally, let's save for two months on $25 before college. Good idea! I still haven't been able to get a job but if I sell art in my Senior Art show, do finally land a job, and just want to put my allowance in, I want to be able to put things in my savings quickly. It's not like they started me one.
She says lets just do it on Friday when she gets paid, don't know if we have the money.
We always don't have the money. When I need to go to hobby lobby to get art supplies for a project, we don't have the money, lets get it later. When I want Taco Bell one night I ask to go out and eat too much. Yet when Daddy gets (not asks, has already gotten) a hunting rifle, she's upset because he spent the money on something like that (not that he spent money) so in retaliation buys a new outfit and takes us out to eat at a $20 per person restaurant, and later complains we have no money so I need to ride the bus. And not a word is spoken about her $30 carton of cigarettes every four days.
And it's always later. Unless it's something she wants to do, why can't we postpone it till later?
Every excuse is just because she doesn't feel like doing anything unless it pertains to her.
My sister sits down.
"Hey, what are you taking those pills for?"
"I have a fcking headache."
Oh, how delightful to see you this evening sister.
I love my mother. This isn't sarcastic. I'm not going to say untrue things and regret it later, but this things are just grating to me. This slobish laziness, self-centered attitude that every day I grow more tired of and wonder how in the world I ever said "Mommy's so smart! I don't know if I could be a good mother like her."
Actually I do. I was ignorant. She's still ignorant as any I-turn-into-a-unresponsive-vegetable-while-I-watch-TV-when-my-daughter-spills-a-cup-of-tea-on-herself-and-screams American, and I am not, and I feel sorry she is this way.
TL;DR
1. On Friday take out $25, hand it to my mother, use her card to start a checking account with $25.
2. Get a job.
3. Sever all my financial ties that have to be managed by my parents because they don't know what the hell they are doing.
Yes, that includes college. If I can I want the student loans to be in my name only and they won't pay anything. I admit that I will need help with the start up costs of living fees, but if I can help it I'll pay as much of that as I can and no cent of my tuition will be payed by them.
....
*melts* Fweh.
