Rainbow Chara X
Impossible to gauge!
- 129
- Posts
- 8
- Years
- Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
- Seen Apr 25, 2024
Oh boy. Are you ready to get crazy, cause I sure am! (not)
Chapter 10 - The Art of Lunacy
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa we're really doing this
Sigh. Well, I have to progress this game eventually.
"Oho! Stumped about how to get in, are we? Well, if you defeat all of us, the Inquisition's Deadly Seven, then we might just tell you where the entrance is!"
Hahahahahahahahaa what
Say hello to the Deadly Seven, aka. these weird blue-afro guys wearing purple thriller vests with no shoes. They all look like this, and despite the name, they're not deadly at all. For example, this dude only has an Oddish.
You know the routine.
"But you won't beat the others. We Deadly Seven are tough!"
As tough as jello.
I should mention that all of the Deadly Seven excluding the last one repeat this losing phrase so we're not missing much if I skip them.
... Uh? That's not where we came in from.
But thanks for the Max Elixir anyway.
... It's gonna be one of those days. See, folks, this whole dungeon is designed to mess with you as each exit leads out through this "loser exit."
Each member of the "Deadly Seven" is hidden in a different cave, and you have to talk to all of them to proceed with plot. Which means you'll be coming out of the "loser exit" multiple times and there's no save scumming to get past this.
What is this monster of level design? I know Cutlerine is doing it to prove a point, but it's completely unnecessary.
All of the Deadly Seven have name with "ov" put at the end of them. To make them sound more Russian. I don't know.
Bobov here has an Onix, which I must add gets a new evolution in Snakewood that is batshit insane.
Onix are not known for their Special Defense, so we have nothing to worry.
"Your winning streak ends here!"
More like continues, given the fact none of these guys pose a threat.
What in the world is that
That, my friends, is a new Fakemon presumably made from scratch. It's a
/
type by the name of Kenchira.
Kenchira replaces Cacnea in the Pokedex and evolves at level 48. His sprite looks funky, but he might become a big help later on.
Right now, he is fodder.
Not so fast, buster. I'm the one that robs people around these parts. (Unless your stuff is in the middle of nowhere, then I won't touch it.)
[A whupping later]
There's also this. I have to put in Walk-Through-Walls to see what that item even is, because there's no reason Cutlerine would just put it there as a cocktease.
: "Jack has no time for this garbage."
Oooh, a Beldum! The Metagross family has always been one of my favorites in the original Sapphire, even if I couldn't be assed to raise them.
Anyway, Psychic won't cut it. Switching over to a different person.
They have a secret? Is it tips on how to style afros? No thank you, then.
[A fight later]
"That will take you back to the entrance of the base. Heheheh..."
[He disappears like the rest]
Well, that was sinister. Let's keep going, though.
This is what the guy up top says. Believe it or not, we have to defeat all of the Deadly Seven to talk to this dude.
"Hah! Surprised? I'm the eight member of the Deadly Seven! Now prepare to --"
"No. You can't be. This is a new low for stupidity, even for this world."
Jack, you are The Best.
(Vladov): "Still doesn't change the fact that I'm now going to battle you."
[sighing]: "Oh, okay then. Whatever."
I feel this man's anguish 100% right now.
A room over, and you get a Nugget. Neat.
: "The ninth member of the Deadly Seven?"
(Adolv): "How'd you guess?"
(Adolv): "I'm not entirely certain."
Of course he's not. He has a Dratini, by the way.
(Adolv): "I said go face him!"
[Disappears like the others]
Jeez, pushy much? Anyway, let's go talk with the haiku man.
"You have defeated all of my companions? Well, then, I shall defeat YOU! Blue cheese haiku death spell, activate!"
Wh-what?
You'd think that as the leader of the Deadly Seven (
), he would have something amazing up his sleeve. No, he just has a Larvitar.
Nah, this is pretty unremarkable. The only reason I'm keeping this in is for formality. If I could, I would just skip to the next part.
"Whohohoho! Too strong. I suppose I shall tell you how to enter. Go back to the sign near the entrance to this forest. There is a secret switch there."
That's what the secret was? Not tips on how to look like a bizarro Miror B.?
[Asimov disappears. I imagine him jumping off of the cliff face making a Superman pose.]
Anyway, this was the switch that Asimov was talking about. Not any of the other signs.
uh oh
[Fade to white]
... Uh? It's just a cave. I'm curious as to how big this island must be though, given its relatively small size on the overworld.
There's also this down here. I don't know what the difference would be other than the potions being military-grade, so you got me.
[Current audio: The Trick Master House theme]
... That's not a good sign. Also, why did Cutlerine put two healing spots right next to each other?
"Hey! You're that kid I was warned about! Well, you won't be getting through the Inquisition Boardroom!"
Oh right yeah, I forgot we were dealing with the Inquisition. I'm glad Cutlerine is making them a thing instead of just shoving them off to the side but...
He's a Salaryman with Hombone. Do these guys choose their Pokemon or is Hombone just a rental for joining?
"I don't care if I lost. You can't get through our boardroom, do you realize that? We've installed a security system that repels unwanted intruders."
Oh, really? Let me test it out, then.
[Teleports Jack back to the start]
... OH IT'S ONE OF THOSE MAZES
We've officially reached the part of Snakewood that I've dreaded ever since I've saw the let's plays for it. See, this whole boardroom segment is a giant test of memorization and if you screw up, you get booted back to the start.
Thankfully, I have a map on standby to help me get through this mess:
Isn't that GREAT? Cutlerine knew this part of the game was so annoyingly complicated he had to make a map for it. Anyway, moving on.
* Not pictured: Me failing a million times to get there. *
Also god damn it, they're back already.
(Mikov): "We're really, really fast."
is it bad to say i legit laughed at jack's misfortune
Anyway, they're all just as easy as last time. Take note of Bellamine's level, however.
She's getting so close.
(Bobov): "I do..."
On one hand I feel bad that Jack cut him off. On another, I have no sympathy for any of the Deadly Seven for putting me through this.
[Skip skip]
(Third member): "Fufufufu... I am Gunkov! Be prepared for my fists of pounding fury!"
: "Your lines are completely different from last time."
After battle, Gunkov talks about something regarding Tree monsters, but it's just nonsense.
------
(Fourth member): "I am Karkov! And you are my deadly foe!"
They're not serious at all, Jack. They're trying to mess with you something fierce.
"Oh really? Thanks awfully. I'm Robotnov, the sixth member of the Deadly Seven."
I have nothing but sympathy for Jack and the crew.
That's a very good question.
: "No, you're not. We met about a half hour ago. You're Rolv of the Deadly Seven."
(Rolv): "Am I? Am I really?"
: "Yes."
(Rolv): "Hah!"
[Initiates a battle]
Riveting.
Yeah, right? Did they all escape from a mental asylum?
There goes the fourth wall.
How the hell do you provide commentary for this?
0
Oh god, they're trying to tear Jack's mind apart by breaking the fourth wall!
Well, good. No crazy banter.
... I just had to open my mouth. These guys are not threatening at all, by the way. Sure, I have to go back and refill on Psychic now and then, but these guys are more like a giant experience buffet more than anything actually dangerous.
So I thank them for that, at least.
(Asimov): "Okay, then! Here goes."
"Like sprightly monkfish
We gamble away our souls:
There is no nutmeg."
... Maybe these guys are called the Deadly Seven because their annoyance can kill?
... Don't make me hungry.
WHAT
There's more!?
that's it i'm out
... No, I can't just leave you guys hanging like that.
: "Oh god... It's you guys again."
Is anybody getting sick of the Deadly Seven already? Like damn, these guys just won't stop.
Bobov is going to make sure he stops us, to which Jack claims:
"I don't believe you. I've done it twice already."
Gunkov becomes a narrator for some reason, but it's not too terribly interesting as to what he says.
Healing kit just in case these guys were getting on your nerves.
... You know, a Fairy-type Gourgeist would be pretty cool.
Robotnov thinks he's the ninenteenth member of the Deadly Seven, which is all kinds of fucked up.
(Rolv): "Col. Ucalegon, reporting for duty!"
The saddest part is that Jack actually goes along with this, if only for a second. These guys are really getting to him, man.
(Rolv): "The enemy has been spotted! Engaging in warfare!"
Everything these guys say is tailor-made to drive people insane, have you noticed?
Sputnov starts spewing "I AM A ROM HACKER!" again, to which Jack replies with:
It's a test of endurance at this point.
(Sputnov): "No! I am not insane. The cucumbers are, though. You should arrest them."
Did Cutlerine sit down and think to himself: "I will put in a group of escaped mental convicts as the elite of the Inquisition and I'll make them super annoying so I can explain it off later on. Yes, this is a brilliant idea."
Like what the fuck.
"I am not Adolv! I am his stunt double! Watch me perform a stunt!"
Yeah, okay, sure, whatever. Break a leg.
oh boy
COME TO ME, MY QUEEN
let's blow this taco stand
: "Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you. Why are you suddenly so friendly with me!"
(Asimov): "Because we're friends! I wrote you another haiku. Want to hear?"
: "Please, please no."
(Asimov): "Here I go!""All for your delight -
Though we are not here.
Cinnamon is good."
[Bellamine psycho-kinetically flings his Larvitar to the other end of the room - the end]
More of this stupid maze
: "With fifty percent of my sanity left intact, yes."
Uh? What's the problem, buddy?
Oh. Well, have fun with that.
You can get a Nest Ball, for whatever it's worth.
Oh no, what is this?
"Well, meddling kid, this is one room you won't get through!"
It's only predictable at this point.
"The 'X' panels on the floor unleash waves of terrible Wild Pokemon... hehe."
Oh god, I'm getting flashbacks to that one Rocket dungeon in Crystal. This is gonna suck.
: "... He did say they were terrible."
Criticizing Hombone aside, this part was just walking through X panels and encountering super weak Pokemon. No thank you.
With that said, that (thankfully) ends off this part of the dungeon and consequentially this episode of Snakewood. Next time, I don't even know what's going to happen.
... If I can be honest, guys? Behind the scenes, this whole maze thing was actually super taxing. I originally skipped through a lot of Deadly Seven dialogue because I had reached the point of "I DON'T CARE" and just sped through them all to get this update over with.
But that wouldn't have been cool. Admittedly, there's a fair bit of Deadly Seven dialogue that I still skipped - but I don't think we're missing anything too important.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:
(Reggie,
, Level 27, has Leftovers,
/
) - "Jack, brattah, you gotta chill. You can't let those crazy guys get to ya."
(Bellamine,
, Level 31,
) - "What in the world did we get ourselves into?"
(Ambes,
, Level 26,
) - Is exhausted with all of this Deadly Seven business
(Zagon,
, Level 29, has Plus Band,
) - Is cuddling up to Jack out of sympathy
(Ace,
, Level 29, has Anadrin Talon,
/
) - Is giving a death glare to Inquisition members that haven't fought Jack yet
(Tohru,
, Level 26,
/
) - "You know, when I signed up for this, I didn't expect to deal with crazy people. But it's not like that matters."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back-up Team:
(Benedict, level 18,
/
) - * Is rolling around *
(Alice,
, level 12,
) - Confused about all of this Deadly Seven nonsense
(Jeanne,
, level 18,
) - "How many times did Jack get teleported again? I'm dizzy!"
(Krusha,
, level 12,
/
) - Trying to count how many Inquisition members there actually are
(Ballin,
, level 14,
/
) - Is still playing the staring game with Pumbloom
(Pumbloom,
, level 14,
) - Is still playing the staring game with Ballin
(Letro, level 15,
/
) - "CALCULATING... THE DEADLY SEVEN APPEAR TO BE DELIBERATELY TRYING TO MAKE JACK INSANE. BEEP BOOP BZZT."
(Cherry,
, level 12,
/
) - Trying to comprehend what most of the Deadly Seven are even saying half of the time.
(Shine,
, level 12,
) - "Man, the guys look like they're having a hard time."
(Spark,
, level 12,
) -"I'm sorta glad we didn't come if this is what bro and Jack have to deal with all of the time."
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Chapter 11 - Into the Rabbit Hole
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh boy, more of the Inquisition base. Hurray.
"I'd stop you, but that'd constitute working, and that's not allowed in the Employee Garden."
So even though Jack is an intruder that has steamrolled through a majority of your members, including what I assume are your bosses (The Deadly More-Than-Seven), you can't violate the rules of the Employee Garden to fight him.
Okay, whatever, I don't even care. No fighting equals a free Max Elixir.
One important thing to note: Do NOT go through this right exit.
This is why. It throws you out of the underground part of the base (somehow???) through the "loser exit" from a few parts back. Which means you have to go through the pain-in-the-ass maze again and the part with forced Pokemon encounters.
That's some master-class trolling and I swear to god I hate Cutlerine for it.
"I'm on my way to the Employee Garden. But, as a loyal salaryman, I will destroy you!"
Yeah, no. Nobody in the Inquisition has given Jack a hard time yet, and you're not going to either.
He does spice things up by bringing a Relicanth. One thing I find that's strange is that the Inquisition has a primarily Rock-focused set-up. That's a really weird typing for a villainous team to have, but hey I have to give points for originality.
I would say "why don't these guys try to beat up Jack with their fists" but that would just wind up with one of the Crew snapping them apart like a dry twig. That, or Jack knows martial arts like the Metal Gear Jack. I approve of both ideas, actually.
A teleporter puzzle too? Didn't you have enough of that back in the Boardroom?
Let's go into this one first.
Damn it, it was the wrong one. But hey, it can't be that bad. What, are they just going to throw more Level 5 Hombone at us?
"Something dark is coming..."
... What?
w-what is this
oh my god what is THAT
[Theme I would use for this thing as in-game it's just the stupid trainer theme: Giygas's Intimidation]
Meet Shaderu. A
/
legendary that is, by all accounts, one of the most disturbing new Fakemon in the entire hack. Sure, it may just look like a Gastly recolored black with a Haunter claw but let me just read you its Pokedex entry:
"Legend states that SHADERU is invisible. This is incorrect, of course - all it does is shroud itself in a dark cloud made of the burned souls of a thousand unborn children."
... I would crack a joke at this, but christ that's some heavy stuff. Also, yes, you are reading that right - Shaderu is level 80. This counts as a trainer battle, so you can't just catch Shaderu and get it over with. You are not supposed to lose this battle either, as it counts as a real game over and it kicks you back all the way out to Mauville City.
So for the love of god, don't go into the wrong teleporter.
This is the correct path to go to through. At least the maze wasn't very long, thank god.
This place has a dungeon to go through? The Inquisition Base is literally three dungeons stacked on top of each other because of this, so don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?
Jack is protected by the power of Plot and savestates, so of course he's going to make it here.
See what I mean about Rock-typing? I should take this time to mention that the Inquisition made their base all fucked up because it's part of some artistic thing on the Deadly Seven's behalf. They fight with the martial art of lunacy, which is basically to drive their opponent insane. Cool story idea, horrifyingly bad gameplay concept.
It does not excuse anything that we've experienced so far because no amount of explanation can justify this. He could have very easily taken the idea out and swapped it for something else that would have been less infuritating, made more sense and made the Inquisition look competent. I mean, the zombies from earlier were very capable at kicking our ass without any special tricks so I don't understand the process behind this.
"You won't be able to get past our Shaderu-summoning traps, anyway."
... You mean the one I already passed that is the only set in the entire building? Idiot, I'm not going back the way I came.
Also, what technology did they use to summon Shaderu of all Pokemon? You'd think they would use that more often given how powerful the thing is. Maybe they can't control it, but that's giving this shitty line way too much credit.
Leap of Faith? .... Please don't be what I think it is.
"Even more so than the rest of our building!"
Do you honestly think Jack even cares by this point, dude?
This guy has a Lunatone, though. It's a bit harder to take down than what we've been fighting with, given that it has Cosmic Power to boost its defenses, but that's why Reggie is here.
Reggie, you got a lot of shit in the earlier parts but now you're one of the best.
You should be apologizing to everybody but Hombone, dude.
"Well, I guess you won't get much further without a flashlight or a torch anyway."
Spoiler: You never get a flashlight.
... This is the Leap of Faith? Does that mean that it's another stupid maze!?
Actually, no. Unlike the pain-in-the-ass maze from before, there are invisible walls that guide you into the exit and it's not that bad really.
I don't understand why Cutlerine was so much of a hardass with the earlier parts of the base yet the later parts are a cakewalk as long as you go the right way. I'm not complaining because it means we get through this faster.
[Current audio in-game: Mt. Pyre Peak]
So these are the dungeons? I love the Mt. Pyre theme though, so any excuse for it to play is a good one in my book.
.. You know, I think the Inquisition uses Hombone so often because it's a readily accessible Pokemon to catch. Not that it makes it a good idea, mind you.
Gaoler - "a person in charge of a jail or of the prisoners in it."
Interesting. Let's see what kind of Pokemon he has.
Your fault for choosing Corsola of all Pokemon, dude.
Spontaneous ledge jumping.
This is the second Nest Ball we've gotten in this base for some reason.
That dude reeks of plot progression. Too bad we can't jump down ledges that thick.
... I don't know why, but they deserve a disco song.
The actual battle is nothing special.
Jack must be rich as hell from all the fighting, though.
- The problem of every defeated Pokemon trainer ever
... Is that lava?
Oh hey, it's Gleis. They kept him here of all places?
"If you came over here, I can explain further."
I'm pretty sure if it was real lava, the both of you would be getting serious flash burns right now.
"The Inquisition seem to not have any, so they've used orangeade instead. You can easily surf across."
I don't know what's more embarassing - the fact Jack confused orangeade with lava, Gleis not swimming through it himself or the fact the Inquisition put their prisoners behind orangeade moats like it's a normal thing.
Jack is perfect as an audience surrogate.
This is what I meant earlier when I said we'd be surfing on more than just water. Just be glad Cutlerine didn't go the edgy route and make it a moat of blood instead.
"The Inquisition got me by surprise and took my Pokegear! It was a vintage Johto model with a built-in conduit for the Tao... If you could get it back from the Inquisition scientists, I could blast us out of here in no time at all."
That'd certainly be appreciated after all of this madness.
How old is Jack, by the way? He looks like he's in his late teens if not in his twenties.
This place gets weirder and weirder.
: "Yeeeeeeah, a bit too late for that, pal."
There's also this. What the hell, dude. You're supposed to walk behind that tree, by the way.
The cliff is trying to eat his head.
That didn't take long.
[Current audio in-game: The Rocket Inquisition theme from before]
"What? Give back Gleis's Pokegear? No way, I need it for my research! Plus, I get control of his Pokemon this way. In fact, let me demonstrate..."
How does this work? Did they steal his Pokemon too?
Hi Maxie with a green haircut and a labcoat. Like come on. Also, that name:
"mal·fea·sance
ˌmalˈfēzəns/
wrongdoing, especially by a public official."
I can't say Snakewood isn't teaching me new things.
Where did Gleis get a Haunter? I want one too! Well, at the very least he's not just sticking to Faceleech anymore.
SPEAKING OF WHICH
You may be stronger, but so is Faceleech as Level 36 is pretty grisly for this part of the game. Like always, if you don't have a priority move like Quick Attack then Faceleech will rip you apart with zero mercy.
Hence why Ace is here. Atta boy.
Remember when Faceleech used to be scary? Ha yeah, those were good times.
A Qwilfish. Am I to suspect it will evolve the next time we fight Gleis? For now though, it's target practice for Thunderbolt.
Reggie classing 'em with the best of 'em.
Define "powerful" because that was actually a pretty comfortable fight for me.
"I know... I failed because Gleis's Pokemon will only obey their true owner. I guess I have no choice. Here - take this Pokegear."
Dude, nice try. I know you're trying to sound important but that's not the reason why you lost. Jack is just too good for you.
Alright, cool. I wish we could keep it though.
"After all, you've legitimately defeated Wattson."
Oh?
Damn straight.
: "You mean my sight, son."
... Wow, we just could not catch a break. I remember how exhausting playing through this certain bit was. There are no healing spots in this part of the Inquisition Base, so if you happen to get a Mon knocked out or are low on supplies then your only choice is to backtrack through the torture maze.
Thank the lord all we have to do left is talk to Gleis, because if we had to keep going then I'm pretty sure I would have legitimately lost.
"Splendid! You got back my Pokegear! Now, let's go! Activating..."
Awww yeah. Let's blow this taco stand!
[No actual sound effect is played]
: "What? I can't hear anything."
: "It's the Inquisition. I feel their presence disturbing the Tao. Listen, I'll teleport you out of here with my Pokegear. I think I'll have a little fun with these vermin, now that Faceleech and I are reunited once more. But before I do, please take this as thanks for helping me out."
That sounds pretty badass. I wish I could stay around to see Faceleech rip apart Inquisition footmen. Also oooh, a gift.
: "Really? Thanks, Gleis!"
He gave us Rock Smash.
YOU'RE THE BEST, GLEIS!
And he teleports us out of the loony bin too! I adore this man even more than I already did.
Finally, some sanctuary!
"Pokecenters will always be there! Even when zombie wars rage around us! Now, can I heal your Pokemon?"
: "You sure can, doll."
Jack x Nurse Joy never. </3
Also holy shit LOOK AT THAT MOOLA. We'll have no worries about money from now on, christ.
And this is just the cherry on top of the dollar sundae.
[Current audio in game: Route 111 Theme]
Famine turned the entire area above Mauville City into a giant desert... I'm not complaining, I love the desert theme too.
"Urrghhh.... I challenged a Troll to a battle, but he was way too powerful - his bag is huge and holds more than six Pokemon."
Wait, what? Whoa. That sounds really interesting, if a little disconcerting.
Swap out that awful Vital Throw, and... Tohru, you know what you have to do.
: ("On it, Hoss.")
With that said, that ends off this episode of Pokemon Snakewood. Next time, we're going to brave through Famine's Desert.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:
(Reggie,
, Level 28, has Leftovers,
/
) - "Ey, Jack. You mind if I take a little break? Won't be long."
(Bellamine,
, Level 32,
) - "We're finally out of that nightmare! Thank goodness!"
(Ambes,
, Level 28,
) - Hugs both Shine and Spark upon coming into the Pokecenter
(Zagon,
, Level 30, has Plus Band,
) - Lies on the ground, exhausted
(Ace,
, Level 29, has Anadrin Talon,
/
) - Does a big dramatic pose as regales to the others his fight with Faceleech
(Tohru,
, Level 27,
/
) - Is outside busting rocks with his bare fists for practice
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back-up Team:
(Benedict, level 18,
/
) - * rolls up to Jack with a warm glow *
(Alice,
, level 12,
) - "Thank goodness, you're all safe!"
(Jeanne,
, level 18,
) - Is happy that the crew came back safe and sound
(Krusha,
, level 12,
/
) - "Oh man, I really should have been there to kick some ass!"
(Ballin,
, level 14,
/
) - Is listening to Ace's totally thrown out of proportion story
(Pumbloom,
, level 14,
) - "S-so what happened next, Mr. Ace?"
(Letro, level 15,
/
) - "IT SEEMS THE NEXT AREA TO GO TO IS FAMINE'S DESERT. BEWARE, JACK. I SENSE FOUL PLAY THERE, BEEP BOOP BZZT."
(Cherry,
, level 12,
/
) - "Honestly, it would have been much better if I had went, sweetie."
(Shine,
, level 12,
) - Is overjoyed that Ambes is safe
(Spark,
, level 12,
) -"Man, you had us going there bro. You looked pretty beat up when you came in..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 10 - The Art of Lunacy
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spoiler:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa we're really doing this
Sigh. Well, I have to progress this game eventually.
"Oho! Stumped about how to get in, are we? Well, if you defeat all of us, the Inquisition's Deadly Seven, then we might just tell you where the entrance is!"
Hahahahahahahahaa what
Say hello to the Deadly Seven, aka. these weird blue-afro guys wearing purple thriller vests with no shoes. They all look like this, and despite the name, they're not deadly at all. For example, this dude only has an Oddish.
You know the routine.
"But you won't beat the others. We Deadly Seven are tough!"
As tough as jello.
I should mention that all of the Deadly Seven excluding the last one repeat this losing phrase so we're not missing much if I skip them.
... Uh? That's not where we came in from.
But thanks for the Max Elixir anyway.
... It's gonna be one of those days. See, folks, this whole dungeon is designed to mess with you as each exit leads out through this "loser exit."
Each member of the "Deadly Seven" is hidden in a different cave, and you have to talk to all of them to proceed with plot. Which means you'll be coming out of the "loser exit" multiple times and there's no save scumming to get past this.
What is this monster of level design? I know Cutlerine is doing it to prove a point, but it's completely unnecessary.
All of the Deadly Seven have name with "ov" put at the end of them. To make them sound more Russian. I don't know.
Bobov here has an Onix, which I must add gets a new evolution in Snakewood that is batshit insane.
Onix are not known for their Special Defense, so we have nothing to worry.
"Your winning streak ends here!"
More like continues, given the fact none of these guys pose a threat.
What in the world is that
That, my friends, is a new Fakemon presumably made from scratch. It's a
Kenchira replaces Cacnea in the Pokedex and evolves at level 48. His sprite looks funky, but he might become a big help later on.
Right now, he is fodder.
Not so fast, buster. I'm the one that robs people around these parts. (Unless your stuff is in the middle of nowhere, then I won't touch it.)
[A whupping later]
There's also this. I have to put in Walk-Through-Walls to see what that item even is, because there's no reason Cutlerine would just put it there as a cocktease.
Oooh, a Beldum! The Metagross family has always been one of my favorites in the original Sapphire, even if I couldn't be assed to raise them.
Anyway, Psychic won't cut it. Switching over to a different person.
They have a secret? Is it tips on how to style afros? No thank you, then.
[A fight later]
"That will take you back to the entrance of the base. Heheheh..."
[He disappears like the rest]
Well, that was sinister. Let's keep going, though.
This is what the guy up top says. Believe it or not, we have to defeat all of the Deadly Seven to talk to this dude.
"Hah! Surprised? I'm the eight member of the Deadly Seven! Now prepare to --"
"No. You can't be. This is a new low for stupidity, even for this world."
Jack, you are The Best.
I feel this man's anguish 100% right now.
A room over, and you get a Nugget. Neat.
Of course he's not. He has a Dratini, by the way.
[Disappears like the others]
Jeez, pushy much? Anyway, let's go talk with the haiku man.
"You have defeated all of my companions? Well, then, I shall defeat YOU! Blue cheese haiku death spell, activate!"
Wh-what?
You'd think that as the leader of the Deadly Seven (
Nah, this is pretty unremarkable. The only reason I'm keeping this in is for formality. If I could, I would just skip to the next part.
"Whohohoho! Too strong. I suppose I shall tell you how to enter. Go back to the sign near the entrance to this forest. There is a secret switch there."
That's what the secret was? Not tips on how to look like a bizarro Miror B.?
[Asimov disappears. I imagine him jumping off of the cliff face making a Superman pose.]
Anyway, this was the switch that Asimov was talking about. Not any of the other signs.
uh oh
[Fade to white]
... Uh? It's just a cave. I'm curious as to how big this island must be though, given its relatively small size on the overworld.
There's also this down here. I don't know what the difference would be other than the potions being military-grade, so you got me.
[Current audio: The Trick Master House theme]
... That's not a good sign. Also, why did Cutlerine put two healing spots right next to each other?
"Hey! You're that kid I was warned about! Well, you won't be getting through the Inquisition Boardroom!"
Oh right yeah, I forgot we were dealing with the Inquisition. I'm glad Cutlerine is making them a thing instead of just shoving them off to the side but...
He's a Salaryman with Hombone. Do these guys choose their Pokemon or is Hombone just a rental for joining?
"I don't care if I lost. You can't get through our boardroom, do you realize that? We've installed a security system that repels unwanted intruders."
Oh, really? Let me test it out, then.
[Teleports Jack back to the start]
... OH IT'S ONE OF THOSE MAZES
We've officially reached the part of Snakewood that I've dreaded ever since I've saw the let's plays for it. See, this whole boardroom segment is a giant test of memorization and if you screw up, you get booted back to the start.
Thankfully, I have a map on standby to help me get through this mess:
Isn't that GREAT? Cutlerine knew this part of the game was so annoyingly complicated he had to make a map for it. Anyway, moving on.
* Not pictured: Me failing a million times to get there. *
Also god damn it, they're back already.
is it bad to say i legit laughed at jack's misfortune
Anyway, they're all just as easy as last time. Take note of Bellamine's level, however.
She's getting so close.
On one hand I feel bad that Jack cut him off. On another, I have no sympathy for any of the Deadly Seven for putting me through this.
[Skip skip]
After battle, Gunkov talks about something regarding Tree monsters, but it's just nonsense.
------
They're not serious at all, Jack. They're trying to mess with you something fierce.
"Oh really? Thanks awfully. I'm Robotnov, the sixth member of the Deadly Seven."
I have nothing but sympathy for Jack and the crew.
That's a very good question.
[Initiates a battle]
Riveting.
Yeah, right? Did they all escape from a mental asylum?
There goes the fourth wall.
How the hell do you provide commentary for this?
Oh god, they're trying to tear Jack's mind apart by breaking the fourth wall!
Well, good. No crazy banter.
... I just had to open my mouth. These guys are not threatening at all, by the way. Sure, I have to go back and refill on Psychic now and then, but these guys are more like a giant experience buffet more than anything actually dangerous.
So I thank them for that, at least.
"Like sprightly monkfish
We gamble away our souls:
There is no nutmeg."
... Maybe these guys are called the Deadly Seven because their annoyance can kill?
... Don't make me hungry.
WHAT
There's more!?
that's it i'm out
... No, I can't just leave you guys hanging like that.
Is anybody getting sick of the Deadly Seven already? Like damn, these guys just won't stop.
Bobov is going to make sure he stops us, to which Jack claims:
"I don't believe you. I've done it twice already."
Gunkov becomes a narrator for some reason, but it's not too terribly interesting as to what he says.
Healing kit just in case these guys were getting on your nerves.
... You know, a Fairy-type Gourgeist would be pretty cool.
Robotnov thinks he's the ninenteenth member of the Deadly Seven, which is all kinds of fucked up.
The saddest part is that Jack actually goes along with this, if only for a second. These guys are really getting to him, man.
Everything these guys say is tailor-made to drive people insane, have you noticed?
Sputnov starts spewing "I AM A ROM HACKER!" again, to which Jack replies with:
It's a test of endurance at this point.
Did Cutlerine sit down and think to himself: "I will put in a group of escaped mental convicts as the elite of the Inquisition and I'll make them super annoying so I can explain it off later on. Yes, this is a brilliant idea."
Like what the fuck.
"I am not Adolv! I am his stunt double! Watch me perform a stunt!"
Yeah, okay, sure, whatever. Break a leg.
oh boy
COME TO ME, MY QUEEN
let's blow this taco stand
Though we are not here.
Cinnamon is good."
[Bellamine psycho-kinetically flings his Larvitar to the other end of the room - the end]
More of this stupid maze
Uh? What's the problem, buddy?
Oh. Well, have fun with that.
You can get a Nest Ball, for whatever it's worth.
Oh no, what is this?
"Well, meddling kid, this is one room you won't get through!"
It's only predictable at this point.
"The 'X' panels on the floor unleash waves of terrible Wild Pokemon... hehe."
Oh god, I'm getting flashbacks to that one Rocket dungeon in Crystal. This is gonna suck.
Criticizing Hombone aside, this part was just walking through X panels and encountering super weak Pokemon. No thank you.
With that said, that (thankfully) ends off this part of the dungeon and consequentially this episode of Snakewood. Next time, I don't even know what's going to happen.
... If I can be honest, guys? Behind the scenes, this whole maze thing was actually super taxing. I originally skipped through a lot of Deadly Seven dialogue because I had reached the point of "I DON'T CARE" and just sped through them all to get this update over with.
But that wouldn't have been cool. Admittedly, there's a fair bit of Deadly Seven dialogue that I still skipped - but I don't think we're missing anything too important.
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Team setup:
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Back-up Team:
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Chapter 11 - Into the Rabbit Hole
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Spoiler:
Oh boy, more of the Inquisition base. Hurray.
"I'd stop you, but that'd constitute working, and that's not allowed in the Employee Garden."
So even though Jack is an intruder that has steamrolled through a majority of your members, including what I assume are your bosses (The Deadly More-Than-Seven), you can't violate the rules of the Employee Garden to fight him.
Okay, whatever, I don't even care. No fighting equals a free Max Elixir.
One important thing to note: Do NOT go through this right exit.
This is why. It throws you out of the underground part of the base (somehow???) through the "loser exit" from a few parts back. Which means you have to go through the pain-in-the-ass maze again and the part with forced Pokemon encounters.
That's some master-class trolling and I swear to god I hate Cutlerine for it.
"I'm on my way to the Employee Garden. But, as a loyal salaryman, I will destroy you!"
Yeah, no. Nobody in the Inquisition has given Jack a hard time yet, and you're not going to either.
He does spice things up by bringing a Relicanth. One thing I find that's strange is that the Inquisition has a primarily Rock-focused set-up. That's a really weird typing for a villainous team to have, but hey I have to give points for originality.
I would say "why don't these guys try to beat up Jack with their fists" but that would just wind up with one of the Crew snapping them apart like a dry twig. That, or Jack knows martial arts like the Metal Gear Jack. I approve of both ideas, actually.
A teleporter puzzle too? Didn't you have enough of that back in the Boardroom?
Let's go into this one first.
Damn it, it was the wrong one. But hey, it can't be that bad. What, are they just going to throw more Level 5 Hombone at us?
"Something dark is coming..."
... What?
w-what is this
oh my god what is THAT
[Theme I would use for this thing as in-game it's just the stupid trainer theme: Giygas's Intimidation]
Meet Shaderu. A
"Legend states that SHADERU is invisible. This is incorrect, of course - all it does is shroud itself in a dark cloud made of the burned souls of a thousand unborn children."
... I would crack a joke at this, but christ that's some heavy stuff. Also, yes, you are reading that right - Shaderu is level 80. This counts as a trainer battle, so you can't just catch Shaderu and get it over with. You are not supposed to lose this battle either, as it counts as a real game over and it kicks you back all the way out to Mauville City.
So for the love of god, don't go into the wrong teleporter.
This is the correct path to go to through. At least the maze wasn't very long, thank god.
This place has a dungeon to go through? The Inquisition Base is literally three dungeons stacked on top of each other because of this, so don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?
Jack is protected by the power of Plot and savestates, so of course he's going to make it here.
See what I mean about Rock-typing? I should take this time to mention that the Inquisition made their base all fucked up because it's part of some artistic thing on the Deadly Seven's behalf. They fight with the martial art of lunacy, which is basically to drive their opponent insane. Cool story idea, horrifyingly bad gameplay concept.
It does not excuse anything that we've experienced so far because no amount of explanation can justify this. He could have very easily taken the idea out and swapped it for something else that would have been less infuritating, made more sense and made the Inquisition look competent. I mean, the zombies from earlier were very capable at kicking our ass without any special tricks so I don't understand the process behind this.
"You won't be able to get past our Shaderu-summoning traps, anyway."
... You mean the one I already passed that is the only set in the entire building? Idiot, I'm not going back the way I came.
Also, what technology did they use to summon Shaderu of all Pokemon? You'd think they would use that more often given how powerful the thing is. Maybe they can't control it, but that's giving this shitty line way too much credit.
Leap of Faith? .... Please don't be what I think it is.
"Even more so than the rest of our building!"
Do you honestly think Jack even cares by this point, dude?
This guy has a Lunatone, though. It's a bit harder to take down than what we've been fighting with, given that it has Cosmic Power to boost its defenses, but that's why Reggie is here.
Reggie, you got a lot of shit in the earlier parts but now you're one of the best.
You should be apologizing to everybody but Hombone, dude.
"Well, I guess you won't get much further without a flashlight or a torch anyway."
Spoiler: You never get a flashlight.
... This is the Leap of Faith? Does that mean that it's another stupid maze!?
Actually, no. Unlike the pain-in-the-ass maze from before, there are invisible walls that guide you into the exit and it's not that bad really.
I don't understand why Cutlerine was so much of a hardass with the earlier parts of the base yet the later parts are a cakewalk as long as you go the right way. I'm not complaining because it means we get through this faster.
[Current audio in-game: Mt. Pyre Peak]
So these are the dungeons? I love the Mt. Pyre theme though, so any excuse for it to play is a good one in my book.
.. You know, I think the Inquisition uses Hombone so often because it's a readily accessible Pokemon to catch. Not that it makes it a good idea, mind you.
Gaoler - "a person in charge of a jail or of the prisoners in it."
Interesting. Let's see what kind of Pokemon he has.
Your fault for choosing Corsola of all Pokemon, dude.
Spontaneous ledge jumping.
This is the second Nest Ball we've gotten in this base for some reason.
That dude reeks of plot progression. Too bad we can't jump down ledges that thick.
... I don't know why, but they deserve a disco song.
The actual battle is nothing special.
Jack must be rich as hell from all the fighting, though.
- The problem of every defeated Pokemon trainer ever
... Is that lava?
Oh hey, it's Gleis. They kept him here of all places?
"If you came over here, I can explain further."
I'm pretty sure if it was real lava, the both of you would be getting serious flash burns right now.
"The Inquisition seem to not have any, so they've used orangeade instead. You can easily surf across."
I don't know what's more embarassing - the fact Jack confused orangeade with lava, Gleis not swimming through it himself or the fact the Inquisition put their prisoners behind orangeade moats like it's a normal thing.
Jack is perfect as an audience surrogate.
This is what I meant earlier when I said we'd be surfing on more than just water. Just be glad Cutlerine didn't go the edgy route and make it a moat of blood instead.
"The Inquisition got me by surprise and took my Pokegear! It was a vintage Johto model with a built-in conduit for the Tao... If you could get it back from the Inquisition scientists, I could blast us out of here in no time at all."
That'd certainly be appreciated after all of this madness.
How old is Jack, by the way? He looks like he's in his late teens if not in his twenties.
This place gets weirder and weirder.
There's also this. What the hell, dude. You're supposed to walk behind that tree, by the way.
The cliff is trying to eat his head.
That didn't take long.
[Current audio in-game: The Rocket Inquisition theme from before]
"What? Give back Gleis's Pokegear? No way, I need it for my research! Plus, I get control of his Pokemon this way. In fact, let me demonstrate..."
How does this work? Did they steal his Pokemon too?
Hi Maxie with a green haircut and a labcoat. Like come on. Also, that name:
"mal·fea·sance
ˌmalˈfēzəns/
wrongdoing, especially by a public official."
I can't say Snakewood isn't teaching me new things.
Where did Gleis get a Haunter? I want one too! Well, at the very least he's not just sticking to Faceleech anymore.
You may be stronger, but so is Faceleech as Level 36 is pretty grisly for this part of the game. Like always, if you don't have a priority move like Quick Attack then Faceleech will rip you apart with zero mercy.
Hence why Ace is here. Atta boy.
Remember when Faceleech used to be scary? Ha yeah, those were good times.
A Qwilfish. Am I to suspect it will evolve the next time we fight Gleis? For now though, it's target practice for Thunderbolt.
Reggie classing 'em with the best of 'em.
Define "powerful" because that was actually a pretty comfortable fight for me.
"I know... I failed because Gleis's Pokemon will only obey their true owner. I guess I have no choice. Here - take this Pokegear."
Dude, nice try. I know you're trying to sound important but that's not the reason why you lost. Jack is just too good for you.
Alright, cool. I wish we could keep it though.
"After all, you've legitimately defeated Wattson."
Oh?
Damn straight.
... Wow, we just could not catch a break. I remember how exhausting playing through this certain bit was. There are no healing spots in this part of the Inquisition Base, so if you happen to get a Mon knocked out or are low on supplies then your only choice is to backtrack through the torture maze.
Thank the lord all we have to do left is talk to Gleis, because if we had to keep going then I'm pretty sure I would have legitimately lost.
"Splendid! You got back my Pokegear! Now, let's go! Activating..."
Awww yeah. Let's blow this taco stand!
[No actual sound effect is played]
That sounds pretty badass. I wish I could stay around to see Faceleech rip apart Inquisition footmen. Also oooh, a gift.
He gave us Rock Smash.
YOU'RE THE BEST, GLEIS!
And he teleports us out of the loony bin too! I adore this man even more than I already did.
Finally, some sanctuary!
"Pokecenters will always be there! Even when zombie wars rage around us! Now, can I heal your Pokemon?"
Jack x Nurse Joy never. </3
Also holy shit LOOK AT THAT MOOLA. We'll have no worries about money from now on, christ.
And this is just the cherry on top of the dollar sundae.
[Current audio in game: Route 111 Theme]
Famine turned the entire area above Mauville City into a giant desert... I'm not complaining, I love the desert theme too.
"Urrghhh.... I challenged a Troll to a battle, but he was way too powerful - his bag is huge and holds more than six Pokemon."
Wait, what? Whoa. That sounds really interesting, if a little disconcerting.
Swap out that awful Vital Throw, and... Tohru, you know what you have to do.
With that said, that ends off this episode of Pokemon Snakewood. Next time, we're going to brave through Famine's Desert.
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Team setup:
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Back-up Team:
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