Recent content by ArceusGPG

This post will be deleted after another post is made. Ernest pulled out the knife slowly, enjoying the way soft skin sliced like butter. “Looks like I was right all along... Steven just lost.” He yanked the blade out with a satisfied grunt, unable to control himself any longer. Blood nearly...

Potato. Tomato. It all sounds the same to him. Confusion. Retribution. The whole situation just got a lot more complicated. Ernest took an emergency spelunking mission into his bellybutton. He was dangerously low in his food supplies, down to the last bit of mashed potatoes. Sticking his index...

Ernest was going to the meeting place, but apparently sneaky little Steven was faster than him. The chubby man had no intention of being in a room alone with a murderer. That'd be, well, that'd be crazy. Ernest instinctively grabbed at the knife stashed away in his sock. It was still there. So...

“No,” he stated in a deadpan tone. “The battle is over and the winner's already been decided. The Warden knows you're a murderer, and so will the rest of the group when I tell them.” With a clumsy pivot and an awkward flourish, Ernest bounced into Steven's personal space. With their eyelashes...

Ernest saw the Bullet Punch coming. Maybe if he had a bit more dexterity, he could have stepped out of the way- wouldn't be too hard since the Pokémon was starting to become predictable. Unfortunately, he was not blessed with the same skills his old roommate Gary M. Sue had. The famous Team...

Riolu's punch was about to land the critical blow when Ernest made a surprising move. He leapt in-between the two of them, landing on the ground just before the Bullet Punch connected. The Riolu's fist drilled into Ernest's bloated stomach, causing him to puke all over the fighting Pokémon...

Riolu launched herself toward Ralts, readying a Bullet Punch. Ernest gasped and began flapping his arms like a hummingbird, shouting incoherent commands. “Use the flibbertigibbet demon-slayer attack! Hurry!” If Ernest had researched the Pokémon's moves, he might have known Ralt's potential. He...

“Aha! I knew it! Cheater! Cheater! CHEATER!” Ernest began dancing around the room chanting his new favorite word. Then he began circling the field shouting, “See Warden? He's a cheater! Murdering cheater!” He spun in frenzied circles, whooping and hollering like a fool. And though he had the...

The kid kept switching Pokémon, like an ignorant student after given a multiple-choice test. Apparently his Riverloo or whatever wanted to battle instead, and punched him to prove his point. Okay. That means that Riogoo is an independent thinker, probably ignoring his trainer's orders. That's a...

“Ready to lose?” Steven asked. Of course Ernest was ready to lose. He was ready to win too, which was the more favorable outcome. Juanito Gordito was prepared for anything; he was the swiss army knife of humanity, without being sharp because sharp objects are dangerous. When Steven sent out...

Ernest had been daydreaming again. Bad Ernest. He gave himself a pinch and a poke to wake himself up, promising himself that he would go buy a soft drink later today, if he ever got the chance. He had no idea how long he had been standing there, drooling, staring at the blank wall. It felt like...

Ernest put his hand on his forehead, apparently in great pain. It was as if a single voice cried out and was suddenly silenced. What was all that about? Oh, yes. The guy giving himself face-blisters was screaming. People tend to get louder when they're pain, don't they? So annoying...

Mr. Trench Coat had finished talking to himself and addressed the dwindling number of E8 members. Something about battling for the gladiatorial tournament or something. Whatever they were doing, Ernest was sure he was paired with Steven, and had to fight him with both of his Pokémon. An easy...

“Oh look!” Ernest cried with delight. “It's a Pumbloom!” He jumped out of his seat and interrupted the other conversation like a boss. Ernest pointed to the Wynaut with a jittery finger, laughing like a cat drowning in maple syrup. His belly shook like Santa after fifty caffeinated cups of...

Bored... no one seemed to be talking, and the crazy lady was taking forever. She must have gotten in trouble with the police for carving her name in someone's back. What else could she be doing? Usually murderers like her enjoyed doing something like that in her free time. Ernest quietly...