Recent content by Lamebot

Sorry, school has been hell and we had some damage and stuff to deal with after Hurricane Hermine. Here's the next chapter, enjoy! “So...What Pokémon did Professor Oak give you?” Jamie asked, looking at the second Pokeball attached to his belt. “Oh, uh, I haven’t even looked yet,” He stated...

Well, as for the Gary's thoughts and stuff, I know that some people do not like 3rd Person Omniscient. I love it because it gives me the opportunity to explore everyone's thoughts on paper and their emotions. I try to keep my use of the omniscient principle to a minimum, however, when I write...

Hey guys, I do Star Wars Fan Fic writing as well, and here is one of my favorite short stories depicting Mace Windu after the fall of the Jedi Order, now that Lucas has confirmed that Mace Windu didn't die, I thought it might be fun for you guys to read. Enjoy! Title: An Unknown Deed Author...

Its starting to come together! Dane had taken an uneventful short cut through the forest from Cerulean straight to Palet, and it took him just over three days to reach it. But there he was, at the foot of the steps to the Famed Professor Gary Oak’s lab. He remembered what Jersey and the other...

As always, thanks for the tips. I'll try to do better. :)

OK, I am ROTFL at the last one....I totally missed that! I didn't try to convey the constant hunger as in he hasd't eaten for weeks...more like he hadn't days. so the eating right away thing would not have been as big a deal unless I misunderstand how long it takes to get to that point. As far...

I've only read the first chapter so far, but I am enjoying it! Thanks for posting!

I've rewritten this next excerpt several times and am relatively happy with it. I did deviate from my original plans several times, but I think it works well. I hope you guys enjoy it, let em know what you think! Dane found the Pokecenter at around ten until midnight. Running the entire way...

OK, I get it with the crowbar. As I write this I've always imagined it as one of those short crowbars you might throw into a bug out bag or side of the road emergency kit. Still formidable, but much harder to gain real momentum with as opposed to the full sized ones. Admittedly I did not really...

OK, so I re-wrote the whole thing according to my discussion above with Miz En Scene. Hope you guys enjoy! The Great Dane A fourteen year old male crept along a dingy alley wall. Merely yards ahead of him was the Town Market, and directly in front of him was a vendor making and selling...

I see your point here and I will admit it is one that I did not consciously consider. However, What I was trying to illustrate was that at the time of this chapter he was, for the most part, at the mercy of the universe. This chapter was intended to illustrate where he came from and the one act...

Well, more backstory, I guess, is required to understand the crapsack world vs the 'moment of warmth and belonging' he stumbles upon. He's a wanderer, traveling from town to town similarly to the way that Pokemon Trainers already do. The difference is that he's constantly stealing what he needs...

Ok, so I guess this was to dry of a read, or maybe his past was to dark. I'll try something else later.

Thanks for the replies guys. I did get the yellow and it works great. I also have purchased a copy of red and it is great as well. The TPP hack copy has become completely useless, even after removing and replacing the save battery.

Deleted...Please see the rewrite below.