Recent content by P-K-123

Chapter 27-Going Psycho Celadon City-Route 7 Got some things to do, get to Saffron first. I'll meet you there. That was the latest text Lee got from Gray, two hours ago. And the time was passing all the while, too. Once again, day was slowly turning into night, as he looked up to see the sun...

Hm, I experimented with a new sort of battle narration there, closer to the games. I'll stick to the classic method of my storytelling, thanks for the advice.

Chapter 26: After the Storm Fuchsia City It took some waiting in masks for the rescuers to get there, who used a cutter to fully open the door while the others hosed down the gas. And Lee couldn't have felt better when the firemen who came to rescue them told them both that it was safe to...

Thanks for the feedback once again! Few things to point out, though. One, the girl's name is Belle. And Two, Flame evolved before Chapter 18/19(Corporate Siege). But other than that, your input is always a guiding beacon to me! I'll try to flesh out my story more like always.

Chapter 25: Kantonian Antidote ??? "Nothing there?" "Nope." Both Lee and Gray checked their third rooms with disappointing results, these ones being empty. The first two rooms had petty Team Rocket goons in them and were of no interest, and from what he could hear across the hallway, Janine...

Chapter 24: Kantonian Venom, Part 2 "GUAH!" Feeling difficulty in breathing, Lee's eyes shot open as he saw his vision get foggy. Am I dying? That was the first thing that popped up in Lee's mind as he tried to breathe deep again, this time getting a whiff of stale air, but one which was not...

Chapter 23: Kantonian Venom, Part 1 A week later... In the spacious lobby of the local hospital, among the patients moving here and there, a young boy was darting through the gaps in the crowd, but not too perfectly, crashing with several people time and time again as he made his way to the...

Chapter 22: Ground Zero Again, Lee found himself back in his home, in bed, his Pokemon gone, and his bag missing. In the usual manner, the kid got out of bed, and looked around. But this time, he was less surprised than the first experience, knowing fully well that he was going to wake up from...

I know, curtailing exclamation marks is hard to do especially when writing action sequences. I'll keep trying it your way, thank you for your continued criticisms.

Chapter 21: Gah, Wilderness! Route 18 The gentle knocks on the road slowly woke up Lee, who had been asleep in the armored truck's back for the last several hours. The battle had exhausted him and his Pokemon completely, and even the break at the Pokemon center before departure wasn't exactly...

Not gonna lie, I got a bit sloppy this time and forgot to check for exclamation points. I'll try harder next time, and right now I'll see what editing I can do. Thanks for your continued criticisms, I don't want to lose you.

Chapter 20-Corporate Siege, Part 2 "Get out there, Eggshell!" "Go, Magneton!" "Get out there, Arbok!" "Take them down, Raticate!" Two Pokemon from each side popped out of their balls, ready to fight with each other for their trainers, who went through hell and high water for them...

Chapter 19: Corporate Siege, Part 1 "...ennekin News would like to stress that intervening in a police case is dangerous and should not be practiced by unprepared professionals. Meanwhile, as the situation worsens, the League has announced that recent cases will now be investigated by the...

Chapter 18: The Reserves of the Day Celadon City Sitting on a bench, two boys, none other than Lee and Gray, put down their drinks for a moment and watched as the lights from all the advertisements, buildings, and cars brighten the night sky in a dark shade of rainbow. "So you're telling me...

I'm not sure how I can stop using exclamations so much. They all seem...needed. Could you give me tips on them?