Recent content by psyanic

I'm not sure how you wrote it previously, but I quite enjoyed how you wrote the battles this time around. I thought they way the battles took place were unique (granted, I haven't read any fics lately), and captured my attention for most of the battle. If anything, I'm curious as to how Haley...

Always been like that. I can even remember when Pokemon came out of their Poke Balls the rest of the screen would darken just a tad.

GRAHGRAHGRAHGRAH I'M BACK FROM OUTER SPACE FLYING THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE WITH MY REVIEWING HELMET ON *ahem* Sorry, but the colored text is just playing hell with my eyes. You shouldn't distinguish speakers by the colors of the text - proper formatting can fix that in a jiffy. Your writing is...

I'm not picky. Actually, that's a lie. Let me try again: I'm picky when it comes to good writing. The plot doesn't have to interest me all that much nor does the author have to be spectacular. I simply want some nice old prose that keeps me going because it's simply entrancing. You have my...

Grab boots Kill snake Throw Egg Kill giant Check pants. Gotta know the gender.

With more frequent reviewing challenges, I think it would be better if the reviews required to actually complete the challenge were a toned down a bit, especially with this past one coming out with only one winner. Actually, the requirements to complete the review challenge might be better off...

The thing about self-inserts is that readers won't know you're projecting yourself onto the character unless they personally know you. If they don't - and that will be the case for most readers anyway - you don't have that issue unless the main character becomes a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu, but that's...

The glaringly uniform sentence structure made this a bit boring to read. Almost all of the sentences start with 'he' or 'Dan' or 'Phil.' You want to mix up the sentences; otherwise, it's a bit boring to read. And trying to start with different words gives an incentive for a more creative mind...

EDIT: bobandbill beat me to the review by being in Australia, so some things I say may be redundant. About the beta thing - PC has its own little Beta Corner you can check out if you need a beta, and you don't even need to go through the hassle of document transfers and what not. All you would...

I must make up with NaNo by make-up reviewing. She hasn't talked to me since yesterday. Name: psyanic Best Way to Contact: Shoot me a VM/PM, just not directly at me, or I might bleed to death. I'd hate to write reviews in a hospital bed. Review Style: I'll just go with I like nitpicking first...

Maybe an interjectory phrase like "no wait, that's an understatement" would work. If you just want to change the word, then it would be like "OK, that's an understatement..." Also, I think either commas or dashes around the phrase would read a bit better. Ellipses give the impression that the...

I second this. Readers want to read your best work, not your draft. If you don't have the time to proofread, then do it later. Do not rush yourself. You don't have deadlines, and the Internet isn't going anywhere. Anyway, there are some more things Volcanix didn't pick up: There shouldn't be a...

Here is a quick crash course to general imagery pertaining to the five senses. Of course it won't be limited to just those senses, but it should (hopefully) give you a general idea. Besides, you want to be able to establish a mood, and that's usually established through imagery of some sorts.

.__. You said that you weren't checking carefully. This is getting all backwards now. But one thing for sure is that you should be proofreading before you even post, and the thing about trying is that you should actually try to provide some sort of imagery and other descriptions to give flavor...

This isn't much of an excuse. You should be proofreading and you should at least try. If you don't take your first steps, how will you ever walk?