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Recent content by Reya Boyens

  1. R

    Dragonic Fury

    "tree's" indicates that the tree owns something. Just in general, you should run this through a spell check. Just copy-paste it into MS Word and back. I'm not going to pick out individual words. "He'd never spoken to Brendan face to face before, they'd exchanged poke'mon and chatten..."...
  2. R

    The F.O.D.

    Wow... All that fighting up there... That was almost amusing. I mean, I could see where both of you were coming from, though I think I agree with you, billy, on most of the issues that arose. Oh, and sorry that the notes I sent you in that PM were about the same as what's been posted here. I...
  3. R

    Walls That Talk

    '"I was a sickly boy," as my mom would like to state' Your mom was a sickly boy? Also, try to think about the sentence, "I must of took whatever my dad took..." You mustn't of done anything. You must have done it. You must have taken it, too. This whole piece is very conversational. That's...
  4. R

    The Destined

    Okay... Um... This is an interesting story... Umm... I'm not sure I understand this pen of yours... And... did your main character know ALL of the other pokemon that were there? That's kind of... odd. One issue is that it seems very conversational in the beginning. The story would sound fine...
  5. R

    Experiment: Eeveelution

    Well, I suppose I should start by agreeing with everyone: make it longer. Let's see here. FYI, I give the most honest critiques you will ever see. Well, maybe not EVER, but... ya know. Okay, you have some technical errors. Plenty of little spelling mistakes, however, you get your point...
  6. R

    First Prey (poem)

    This is good. I mean, it's different. You've chosen interesting lines to rhyme, but you've made it work. It's wonderfully nondescriptive. Seriously, it's a good thing. it gets in depth with the emotions, but by not giving a specific example, you've left it open to interpretation. Good job.
  7. R

    The Water Cycle

    It's called constructive criticism. it's made to help you improve your writing. If I had any writing up, I'd learn to accept it. You have to too. I realize it seems mean, she's right. Your story seems like one big cliche. The name bubble has obvious origins, too, so you really didn't need...
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