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Squirtlenator
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  • Tysm nator! <3

    I'll be glad when I can kick you guy's derrieres again, you've had it too much your own way ;)
    I.. did not expect to become so emotional reading your post in the christian club. Thank you for taking the time to explain these things to me — it means a lot. I don't know where the journey of faith will take me, if anywhere at all, but your words really had an impact on me, so thank you. ♡

    I also noticed you capitalized God, while I didn't in my post. I hope that wasn't offensive and I'm sorry if it was.
    Thank you! I set that to my user title just to be funny but I actually did forget!
    That is true and it could help me more possibly. However I rather not for a few personal reasons. So right now I'd like to still take my time and do what I feel most comfortable with doing. When it comes to me talking to others socializing with on my pace and comfort level. I do appreciate the suggestion though, thank you.
    A bit late getting to this, whoops~
    Yeah it's nice having the idea it gets me a source of income for ...idols... the important stuff out there. Helps me feel a lot better about myself and everything going on.

    I like to think I'm not too different here than in person, it's not like I put up an act or anything. I just think it's easier to approach people in this kind of setting. Everyone's coming here to have a conversation about whatever it may be so I think that makes things easier. I'll do my best though, thank you!
    I have done that just walking once around the apartments but still I can't be rushed into doing so since being rushed effects my anxiety badly or forced to do it. I will try more even just going once around the block but I can't promise anything all the time, I'm sorry. Thank you though for giving advice and I don't have a computer I'm always on my mobile on PC. I'll try to copy and save it if it happens again.

    I've seen some of the movies you enjoy as well.
    I was writing you a long private message but it logged me out and I lost everything I wrote, apologies. In short what I said in the message was its hard to go on walks or be outside since I have agoraphobia and anthrophobia and it's not that easy to go walking or be outside for me. I'm not sure how best to explain it though still thats on my to do list in therapy but me and my therapist are doing other extremely important things at the moment first for my therapy to get me 100% well again on my healing journey.

    I hope that makes sense to you, we will try and get out however the pandemic is making it hard to go places and we will go on walks during my sessions sometimes. Right now at the moment I just have to wait when my therapist gets back from vacation now, also pray for nice weather too to go walking. Where I live weather is unpredictable and changes a lot more due to climate change I think personally. Summer time where I reside used to be brutal now its not the heat its the humidity that makes it pretty bad where I live and not very safe to be out in either.

    Due to climate change since the humidity living where I have for 20 years never been an issue till when I was 27 it all started getting worse. Less to no Winters as well no snow I mean and that used to happen every Winter for us now it's not happening anymore. The past two years severe weather haven been not too bad but who knows what will happen now with it. About movies now I agree 100% with you on that even if it's a television series as well. I ♡ a lot of films but some favorites of mine are:

    1. Godzilla Franchise
    2. Alien Franchise
    3. Predator Franchise
    4. Terminator Franchise
    5. Star Wars Franchise

    What are some of your favorite films? I never seen too many older films but if one is interested and intriguing enough to me I'll give it a watch.
    For sure. I know for a while I've sorta beaten myself up over the thought that "I'm not doing enough because I don't have a job", especially graduating high school. It's nice to like, know I'm doing that, I suppose?
    I am... quite surprised you think that, haha, but thank you! I think conversation gets really easy when I get to know someone, or maybe it just seems like I'm good at it on the forums. Having that familiarity is both gonna make things easier in the job and part of why I think I was able to get hired.
    It's for part-time but I'm not sure what the hours or anything are like. I figure they'll sort things out with me when I show up for my first shift.
    Thank you! It's just some basic retail job but it's at a hobby/card store I've kinda grown up on and gotten to know people well at. Nothing too interesting, haha. Nice to know I'll have one though.
    Oh shi-
    I actually ended up getting the job a couple nights ago, I was going to open up some thread and notify you guys (I believe Ash was also interested) but I think I just forgot to or something, my brain fried and I was pretty surprised by the whole thing as well. Shifts start on Sunday which is why I've been going to sleep earlier and also totally not staying up tonight to watch a live Love Live performance... so if you're seeing me online at weird times, that's probably why.
    Thanks for the reminder actually, and for your support as well.~
    No sadly I didn't I was a bit afraid to go outside again. My anxiety got to me from bad nightmares I had last night. Though I was active and cleaned around my place so I did get some kind of workout.

    I like Fantasy, Some SciFi, Action, Mystery, Some Drama, Historical too like War films, Martial arts and Adventure.
    I love a lot of movies and know a lot about some of the lore or information about them too.
    That's good your doing well it was sunny here too and warm. May I ask do you like watching movies?
    Hey Squirtlenator ~
    Thank you for checking on me, your very kind as always to me. It went well even more progress made I told her more about PC, she's happy there's good people on here and that they treat me well too. How are you today I hope also good?
    Thank you for the message back, I appreciate. Also you're right about all of it. Please take care Squirtlenator~
    Hey Squirtlenator~
    ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎
    I just wanted to say hi to you and see how're you're doing lately~? I didn't hear back from you in private and thought I must of said something wrong and scared you off, apologies if that was the case. I didn't mean too. I've been struggling going through minor ups and downs with my mood or more self esteem lately. I always think I suck at communicating well with people my feelings or just in general talking. Thus causing to say the wrong things and causing people to leave. My confidence and courage levels these past 2 weeks been toughI have to admit and changeling for me as well.

    So my self esteem wasn't as high as it was first was when joining PC from the start of this month. So if I ever said anything that offended or just something you didn't like I apologize. However yesterday and today things have been changing in my mood and life so far and I'm doing really great now. My therapist after a year and two months finally had an appointment with my mother and sister yesterday evening . My therapist was explaining to them what I've been talking about with her and how both of them can help me more than argue with me since they don't understand my pain or what C-PTSD really is.

    To be honest my mother and sister are sadly not educated about PTSD in general and think what I have is an easy fix. However really it will take some years of me healing to get 100% well were I feel happiness and peace, perhaps for the first time even. So when I first met my therapist my mother found me, I told her the first step for me to heal from my C-PTSD is get my mother and sister on board so when I get triggered or have a bad day they can help support me better. Also understand me more and my struggles from years of people hurting me.

    I'm not sure what was said my next appointment with my therapist I see her Friday. So she will tell me what happened in the session between all three of them yesterday. I really hope all good things and them understanding me a bit more as well, though we will see. I really do appreciate your support and kindness you've always shown me on here when we have spoken to each other a bit. You're a really great guy and good person, I hope you get the very best out of life as well, you deserve it.

    Well I hope you have a great rest of the day/night, please take care~

    Leaf~
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