Craig's Sinnoh Adventure

Hello. This is a recent project I've been working on. It's a story about me as a trainer.Hope you enjoy it

Chapter 1- The Beginning
Hi, I'm Craig. I've been waiting out front of Prof. Rowan's lab with my friend, Jason, for about an hour. Jason has been my best
friend since we were 3 when he and his mum moved here from the Johto region. We've grown up together and both share the
same goal, to become the greatest Pokemon Master ever. Jason has brown hair, is really tall and thin and wears glasses. I am
medium height, have blonde hair and I'm also kind of thin. Jason's Dad is a mechanic at the Pokemon Radio Station back in Johto
and sometimes comes to Sinnoh to visit Jason in Twinleaf Town.

We are waiting to get our first Pokemon, as today is my 15th Birthday. Jason waited to get his first Pokemon for an extra week so
we could set off together.
"Jason and Craig, you can come in now" called Prof Rowan from inside.

We walked inside and saw 11 Pokeballs sitting in a tray on a table in the middle of the room. I dd some simple multiplictaion
(3 starters times 4 regions) and realised that a Pokeball was missing.
"Okay, you can choose two Pokemon each, but be careful and choose well as they will be your eternal partners" Prof Rowan said.
"Can I please have Chimchar and Treeko?" I asked.
"Okay, but this Chimchar doesn't like being in a Pokeball as he has had a bad previous experience with them" He handed me a Pokeball
and went to a door and got out a Chimchar.

The Chimchar was cute but had a large scar across it's left cheek. It seriously did not look very enthusiastic at being given away. But he
still ran up and jumped up on my shoulder.
"Hello little buddy"
"Chim-chim"
"Um... Hello! What about me?
"Oh yes, you. What Pokemon would you like?" said Json impatiently
"Totodile and Turtwig please" Prof Rowan got two Pokeballs and handed them to Jason.
"Go Totodile!" He threw the Pokeball and out came a small blue crocodile, which started dancing.
"To-to-dile!" he said eagerly.
"Do you want to walk with me?" Jason siad to Totodile.
"To-to-to" he said and ran up next to Jason.

So, do you like it? Hope you did! Stay tuned

It'd be best if you didn't use the word Adventure in your title, do something creative and related to the plot, or a name or something. Lets just say that Craig named his Chimchar Firebreeze, and lets say that Firebreeze is a really important character. Then, you could call your story Firebreeze or Breeze of Fire or really anything that you think will attract readers. Come up with a list of titles and ask your friends and family which ones draw them into the story the most.

killin_kobra said:

Chapter 1- The Beginning

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Never name the first chapter The Beginning. That doesn't draw readers in. For this particular chapter it's hard to come up with a title because not much happens in it, but that just means it takes more time. I would probably call this chapter something like Scarred or Chosen, but it's really up to you. Do the same thing as I said to do for the title of the story here.

Hi, I'm Craig. I've been waiting out front of Prof. Rowan's lab with my friend, Jason, for about an hour.

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Start out a chapter with something that will draw a reader in. Start in action, or a prophecy, anything you find interesting; just don't anime begin it.

Jason has brown hair, is really tall and thin and wears glasses. I am
medium height, have blonde hair and I'm also kind of thin.

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Character appearence needs to be shown in a different way. (e.g. The stallion galloped through the beautiful green meadow, wind blowing through his magnificent brown mane.) This is only one example, there are many ways to introduce appearence.

We are waiting to get our first Pokemon, as today is my 15th Birthday. Jason waited to get his first Pokemon for an extra week so
we could set off together.
"Jason and Craig, you can come in now" called Prof Rowan from inside.

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In a single paragraph you changed from present tense to past tense. Stick to one tense, though the introduction can be present tense if you want it to be as long as you separate it from the rest of chapter 1.

We walked inside and saw 11 Pokeballs sitting in a tray on a table in the middle of the room.

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Is there a reason why the professor is letting the boys pick from all the regions instead of just one? Explain. Plus, what does a pokemon look like? If there is someone here new to pokemon, they may not know.

I dd some simple multiplictaion
(3 starters times 4 regions) and realised that a Pokeball was missing.

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The bolded words are spelled wrong; spell check on Microsoft Word or Open Office can help you with that.

"Can I please have Chimchar and Treeko?" I asked.

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Was it really that easy for Craig to decide? Maybe you could also put in how Craig had thought it over all last night to come up with the two pokemon, or that his dad had picked those pokemon when he was a child and that Craig wanted to be just like him. Make up something to explain this behavior.

The Chimchar was cute but had a large scar across it's left cheek.

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What does Chimchar look like? Is he an orange lizard with wide blue eyes and a fiery tail? Or is he a lovable orange monkey with a big swirl on his head and a spurt of fire in the place of his tail?

"Do you want to walk with me?" Jason siad to Totodile.

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Said is spelled wrong.


You have a lot of work to do, but it'll be worth the efforts when you're done:D

~Night