Buoysel
Trust me, I'm a Professional*
- 2,006
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- Kansas City
- Seen Aug 4, 2015
i know that it lacks a LOT of description but i would like you to tell me what you think of the story and if you spot any grammar errors.
have not decided on a title yet sorry for the disappoint.
"It's time to get up." called a loving voice.
"I don't want to." came a reply from the young Buizel.
"Buizel, if I have to come in there you are going to get it." this time the voice was more stern.
"All right, I'm up, I'm up." said Buizel as he emerged from the earthen chamber that could be called his home. It was a simple den that was dug in the ground next to the biggest tree in the valley. The entrance was just big enough for his mother, a Floatzel, to fit in. Once inside there was more than enough room for Buizel and his mother to move around without disturbing each outers sleep. The walls were brown just like the earth. Scratch marks made by a Pokémon claws were still visible in the walls form were the din was originally dug.
As Buizel eyes adjusted to the bright light of the outside world he saw his mother had already gathered some berries. She sat a few feet away and was already eating her share.
"No fish?" Buizel asked, as he approached his mother, but he already knew the answer, it was the same every time he asked.
"You know as well as I do," Floatzel began on her well rehearsed answer, "that there are no longer fish in the riv..."
"I know," Buizel cut his mother off in mid sentences, "I was just hoping." He trailed off.
"Me too" she replied in a saddened tone.
They both knew that there no fish, there hadn't been for a month. How Buizel long for the tasted of meet. He would even settle for a Magikarp, even though he hated the taste, it reminded him of a mouth full of dirt. That was if you could get though the skin that was super hard. He had watched his mom do it once by smashing it against a rock several times, and he thought he could do it.
After they both had what they could take of the mixed berries Floatzel told Buizel to go practice his swimming at the river.
"I do that every day." complained Buizel, "Don't you think I can swim well enough yet?"
"No, otherwise I wouldn't have you do it every day." she said in a scornful voice, "Now go, hurry up, and remember I will be watching, so do it right."
Without further argument Buizel turned around and began walking to the river.
"I love you." Floatzel yelled as Buizel was heading to the river.
"Yah sure" he replied as he walked away, "me too."
It did not take long for him to reach the river. He jumped in and began spun his tail at a high speed like a propeller, this is how he swam. He stared his normal exercises that his mother had shown him two months ago, up, down, side to side, and back and forth. He quickly grew tired of this. Suddenly he noticed something swimming at him at a very high rate of speed. It was, more than one thing it was, a whole group of things!
------
Floatzel was already searching for some berries for lunch. It was still early Moring but it would take most of her day to find enough to feed her and her son. Since the fish had vanished the only source of food in the valley was berries, and all the other Pokémon ate them as well. This amount of pressure on the berries made it hard for them to reproduce, which made it hard for the Pokémon to find enough to feed themselves and their young.
[FONT="]Less than twenty minutes had passed when all of a sudden there was a great uproar coming from the center of the valley, where the river was, and her son[/FONT]
have not decided on a title yet sorry for the disappoint.
"It's time to get up." called a loving voice.
"I don't want to." came a reply from the young Buizel.
"Buizel, if I have to come in there you are going to get it." this time the voice was more stern.
"All right, I'm up, I'm up." said Buizel as he emerged from the earthen chamber that could be called his home. It was a simple den that was dug in the ground next to the biggest tree in the valley. The entrance was just big enough for his mother, a Floatzel, to fit in. Once inside there was more than enough room for Buizel and his mother to move around without disturbing each outers sleep. The walls were brown just like the earth. Scratch marks made by a Pokémon claws were still visible in the walls form were the din was originally dug.
As Buizel eyes adjusted to the bright light of the outside world he saw his mother had already gathered some berries. She sat a few feet away and was already eating her share.
"No fish?" Buizel asked, as he approached his mother, but he already knew the answer, it was the same every time he asked.
"You know as well as I do," Floatzel began on her well rehearsed answer, "that there are no longer fish in the riv..."
"I know," Buizel cut his mother off in mid sentences, "I was just hoping." He trailed off.
"Me too" she replied in a saddened tone.
They both knew that there no fish, there hadn't been for a month. How Buizel long for the tasted of meet. He would even settle for a Magikarp, even though he hated the taste, it reminded him of a mouth full of dirt. That was if you could get though the skin that was super hard. He had watched his mom do it once by smashing it against a rock several times, and he thought he could do it.
After they both had what they could take of the mixed berries Floatzel told Buizel to go practice his swimming at the river.
"I do that every day." complained Buizel, "Don't you think I can swim well enough yet?"
"No, otherwise I wouldn't have you do it every day." she said in a scornful voice, "Now go, hurry up, and remember I will be watching, so do it right."
Without further argument Buizel turned around and began walking to the river.
"I love you." Floatzel yelled as Buizel was heading to the river.
"Yah sure" he replied as he walked away, "me too."
It did not take long for him to reach the river. He jumped in and began spun his tail at a high speed like a propeller, this is how he swam. He stared his normal exercises that his mother had shown him two months ago, up, down, side to side, and back and forth. He quickly grew tired of this. Suddenly he noticed something swimming at him at a very high rate of speed. It was, more than one thing it was, a whole group of things!
------
Floatzel was already searching for some berries for lunch. It was still early Moring but it would take most of her day to find enough to feed her and her son. Since the fish had vanished the only source of food in the valley was berries, and all the other Pokémon ate them as well. This amount of pressure on the berries made it hard for them to reproduce, which made it hard for the Pokémon to find enough to feed themselves and their young.
[FONT="]Less than twenty minutes had passed when all of a sudden there was a great uproar coming from the center of the valley, where the river was, and her son[/FONT]