So what if I write poems?!It does not make me girly!

You Make Me

You make me wonder.
You make afraid.
You make me so many things,
But you don't make me regret.

I've regretting everything I've done.
But I've never regretted choosing you.
I dont mind that you scare me.
It's not really you,
It' the thought of rejection.

You make me happy.
You make me laugh.
You make my whole world.
But most of all,
You make me think.

I think alot when your here.
I think alot when your away.
But everytime I think,
I think about you.

Edit:This poem isn't for anyone in particular.I just got an inspiration and had to write it and put it up.I'll put up other poems later.

it's great! strangely enuff: i was writing something similar to this before i saw it! u mind reading............ lol j/k. must... change...idea...now...because...of...you

Uh oh....what'd I do?Srry I didnt see your poem till after I finished posting this thing up.

no not that... imeant i was writing one on paper, don't beat yourself up k, you interpreted what i said wrong, no prob i was kidding around, really...

Oh ok.*hits self on head for being a moron yet again*

'sokay... i'm very sarcastic so don't take half of what i say to heart unless it's about pikawolf or something where i implicate that i'm serious. anyway i give it a 10/10

Well ok.Well I must get back to searching for inspiration in my other poems and pictures.

*sighs*It's not my best work but it's not my worst so I'll put it up.

Reflection

I looked in a puddle and guess what I saw,
I saw a reflection of someone else,
I didnt know the person,
She was a stranger to me,
I looked again and relized who it was,
It was me but in a different way,
It was what I was not.
A fake cover for what I am,
I dropped in a rock and it made a splash.
Once the puddle was calm again a smile crossed my face,
I was there in that puddle,
I was looking back at myself,
My fakeness had left,
I walked away but still I knew I was me,
There would be no more faking my life,
No more being what I'm not,
From now on I know,
I know,I'll always just be me.

es bien, it's good. just don't double post unless you can do that here (is halfway asking)

I liked the first one the best the second one was uninspiring. The first one was nice sort of happy and bouncy, really easy to read.
however, I saw some minor diction problems that threw me for a loop.


" I've regretting everything I've done.
But I've never regretted choosing you."
-eh maybe use another word rather than "regretted"


"I think alot when your here.
I think alot when your away.
But everytime I think,
I think about you."
- change the last line and its gold.


anyhow would any of you guys and gals mind looking at a couple of my poems, no one seems to want to post in them. One is "seduction in B minor" and the other is "Icarian dreams" I would really appreciate it. = )

Alright I'll look at your poems for you Finglonger.Alos thanks for the comment and advise guys.

Well heres another old one of mine.I'm working on a newer one now but it needs alot of work still.

My Path of Wisdom

I feel the pain of glory,
I see the light in the dark,
I know not the wisdom of my choice.
I walk down a path as alone as can be....
I feel a freind's hand on my shoulder,
I feel like me.I see my path is clear,
I understand it now.
Thanks to you,
You helped me see my reality.
I must leave now,but you'll always know,
I'm right by your side and I share with you your mind,
As I walk away I look back one time,
And what I see is a reflection of me.

Yes yes I know that one is horrible too.Well heres another one as well.I made this for my dad's 40th birthday.I tend to bother my mum and dad about their age alot and thats why I made this short quick poem.

Look at me,I'm 39,
Don't have a dime,
old as can be,
Can barely see,
Can't hear wortha ****,
Think I smell,
Look at me,I've turned 40.

Well the 4 stars are there to cover up the word I had there before.It was spelled H-E-double L.I figured I shouldnt let that word show here.

EDIT:Oh I'm sorry!I didnt even realize i was double posting!