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[Pokémon] He who is Merely a Rumour

Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
2,778
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Thanks for the review, Katherine. ^_^

As for the comment about Bevan, you're right; Part I was quite hodge-podge and possibly could have had more focus. But the main idea there was to give the reader a general idea about the setting, the kind of emotions involved, the political situation, et cetera. And then of course, to relate Bevan to that mess. XD It was not only a way of getting the reader used to the story, but a way of getting me used to the story as well, which I've had several changing ideas about. :P If I were to ever do a rewrite of this, that would be one of the things I'd focus on. ^^

But I intend for Parts II and III to be significantly more Bevan-centric, focusing on how he relates to everything, developing his character, and developing his Pokémon. :)
 

Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
2,778
Posts
14
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Chapter Fourteen: The Throat is so Crucial, yet so Exposed
"It's simple, really," Charlotte had said. "We need to recover some files from Ruraya Town. Unit 6 has some secret operations in there, and they can't be accessed via the internet. You'll learn the ropes here."

Bevan had asked what Unit 6 was. As Charlotte had explained, Unit 6 was the most elite secret police organisation in all of Torcra, even more elite than the Cloaks. They were spread thinly across the region: slippery and reclusive, but powerful. Although they answered directly to the Eyes, they helped all Oligarchic departments with their most dangerous and difficult operations. It had been recently discovered that they had a base of operations in the rural cluster of villages known as Ruraya Town.

And now, Charlotte, Bevan, and another nameless agent were suited up, backs against the wall in the dark night.

There were several night watchmen wandering, their paths predetermined. Their paths had been discovered and a suitable course was undertaken by the trio to the mainframe server. The floor sensors and lasers were quite impotent: the gloves that they wore hacked them and disabled them, apparently. Most useful pair of gloves I've ever been given, thought Bevan incredulously.

What were they looking for? They didn't know. Unit 6 never set up an operation for general purposes like the other organisations. They had a specific need to be here. But what?

"Now!"

Charlotte's whispered shout signaled the trio to move across the hallway silently; the guard had turned around the corner. Keeping low, they darted into another room. Bevan had an odd feeling in his stomach: the thrill of breaking the rules mixed with the sickening feeling that he may get caught. Even as an Oligarch's son, he'd never heard of Unit 6.

They darted through a few hallways with a few near misses, but after ten minutes, they came to a large server. The three agents all felt their hands feel funny: the gloves were whirring, absorbing the information from the server.

Wow, thought Bevan. This is less exciting than I'd thought. All I did was dodge security and now stand here while people thirty miles away hack the system through my gloves, of all things. Maybe I was scared for nothing.

"Well, that was anticlimactic," said Bevan, after getting back.

"What did you expect? Action? Despite what the movies would lead you to believe, we spies try to avoid action."

Bevan smirked. "I… suppose so."

"You were expecting some film cliché, weren't you?" Charlotte chuckled. "Some Unit 6 man takes an unexpected detour, spots us, calls an attack, and we have a large and exciting battle. That sort of thing does happen, but it's the exception, rather than the rule. We planned very carefully, and we do our job well – in and out without incident. We've killed Oligarchs' families without anyone noticing until two hours afterwards."

*​

"What's the reason?" Charlotte and Bevan were standing in the computer room with some Knife hackers, watching the information appear. It was dark, with only a feeble lightbulb and glow of the computer screen to illuminate the room. It was just the way the techies liked it. "Why is Unit 6 in Ruraya Town?"

"Hmm… o-oh no." One of the hackers covered the screen. "Charlotte – are you sure you want him in here? This is pretty important. If he defects…"

"He's good." Charlotte didn't really think so – she knew that it was risky. But to send him out would be to risk losing her friendship with Bevan. Dagger called friendship 'a sentimental waste of time', but she didn't want to risk losing Bevan. There was only so much hardship someone could take.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes – now show us the stuff."

"It seems that this operation has been set up to build a prison. Not just any ordinary prison, mind you." They all began reading, and realised what they were doing.

Charlotte's face darkened. "They're… they're setting up a detention centre for the Brain. They're regularising how they take victims for experimentation. And that means…"

"There's a hell of a lot more people going to die."

Anger swelled up in Bevan. It was only now, after he had been captured, that he was beginning to see the Oligarchy for what it really was. It was cruel. It was bloodthirsty. His father was at the top of it, ruling the country like he ruled his family. He will pay. I'll make sure of it.

Charlotte noticed this look of anger and became worried. It's good that he's passionate, but I don't think he really understands. His allegiances sway too rapidly; he's too easily moved by rhetoric. A short while ago he was on their side. He could move again if Augury was persuasive enough.

*​

It was nighttime, and Charlotte was sitting in Bevan's bedroom. it was cramped, consisting of a drawer, a bed, and very little floor space.

"How are you settling in?"

Bevan shrugged. "I… I don't want to be here, to be honest. I don't want to fight. I… I'm scared. I'm not cut out to fight against these odds. I feel like… do you remember as a kid, watching television?"

"Televisions were forbidden in my cult."

"O-oh. Well, as a kid, I watched TV shows on Saturday morning. There'd always be some rustic hero who'd fight against the odds. He would stare down the face of evil and laugh. I… I'm finding myself in that situation, where I have to stand up against evil. But I'm finding it hard. I'm used to having everything in my life handed to me. I'm a cushy upper-class kid, not a hero."

"But… you seemed so excited."

"Adrenaline, I guess. Everybody gets it – I'm not extraordinary."

"Bevan, I saw the look of anger on your face when you realised what was happening."

"I am angry, Charlotte. I'm forced to fight a war, to pick a side. I don't want to – but that doesn't matter, because I have to. My entire life, I've gotten what I wanted from my father's influence, completely unfairly. I couldn't stand up to him when he killed my mother, for Arceus's sake. But now I have an opportunity, finally, not to be passive. I'm scared as hell, but it doesn't matter. Selfishness and cowardice don't matter. We need to stop my fa – Augury. You've shown me something that I now can't ignore."

Charlotte breathed a sigh of relief. This is all him. Perhaps I was worried for nothing.

"And with me? Are you still mad?"

"Yes. I feel so vulnerable around you now, but I have to toughen up. My personal feelings are only getting in the way, Charlotte. Augury is bigger than that."

They sat in silence for a moment, before Bevan spoke up. "How did you find the Knife?"

Charlotte decided that it was only fair that she open up. "As you know, I really was a trainer. And they forced me into becoming a Cloak. Until Route 616 opened, I was essentially under house arrest. Dagger found me, and gave me an opportunity to avoid a life of being an agent for dictatorship. I accepted."

"Wh-what about before that? What about in the cult?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because it would ease me feeling so vulnerable. I'm not a rock, Charlotte – I can try to ignore my feelings for the cause, but there's only so much I can do."

"Well, I was in a cult known as The Family. It actually holds a certain interest to the Knife – that video I showed you after you'd been captured was Augury talking to the leader of that cult. It was a life of rigid discipline and rules. I hated it, and rebelled. I was beaten and broken, and at the age of fifteen, I was removed from my parents. I'd had enough, so I plotted an escape, stole a Roselia from the leader, and fled."

Tears in her eyes, Charlotte strode quickly from the room. Bevan remembered: her parents had been taken and executed as a way of attacking him. It seems even Charlotte wasn't immune from emotion.

*​

"Dr. Cicero. You wanted to see me?" Dagger walked into the laboratory.

"Yes, sir. A new development has been made apparent in my experiments. I have discovered a compound similar to that of the fabled Griseous Orb. We picked it up in microscopic quantities when we swapped Gardevoir fur for Gallade fur in one of the experiments."

"What's your point?"

"The point is that this compound, based on its structure, is easily excreted. It will cause no damage to the system should it fail."

"I'm not following. What do I care if you've got something that does no damage?"

"It means we can do a human test. In theory, this compound could bring about psychic powers. We could actually give someone the ability to use telekinesis and telepathy. The only problem is that it will only work on somebody of an AB blood type. It has to do with the fact that psychic powers work through not only the brain, but the entire body. Obviously, as we develop this compound, we can make it not reliant on this type. It's quite fascinating actually-"

"I'm sure to you, Cicero. But not to me. What's the relevance?"

"Well, in the standard tests we did when we captured Bevan Emerit, we found that he is AB+. He is the only test subject we have."

"You want permission to test it on Bevan? He doesn't like us that much anyway. He'd never consent."

"He doesn't need to, Dagger. It's a simple matter of slipping it in his drink. I can have it ready in a tasteless liquid within the week. And then when he develops psychic powers, we give him some bogus explanation about familial connections with Augury. He's gullible and ignorant enough to fall for it."

Cicero stepped back, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Deep breath. You're not returning to your old ways; this is harmless. Besides, it's for the greater good.

"Can you guarantee that there'll be no adverse effects?"

"Yes. It may make him experience flu-like symptoms for a couple of days as he excretes it, but the theory is pretty solid."

"Then prepare it, Cicero. We may have a way to fight Augury at last."
 
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Caliban

Trying to change my life, brb~
339
Posts
15
Years
Wow, they have Saturday morning TV?. I'm enjoying this a lot. Augury Mk2? Oh, and how would you pronounce "O-oh"?

Spoiler:


AHHH!

Uh, anyway - moving on...

Bevan remembered: her parents had been taken and executed as a way of attacking Bevan.

Too many Bevans, I think... My head's spinning...
 

Feign

Clain
4,293
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  • Seen Jan 25, 2023
the gloves that they wore hacked them and disabled them,

Unit 6 never set up an operation 'just in case'.

Just confused with the above sentence.

They darted through a few hallways with a few near misses

What kind of near misses? This could be assumed that the guards saw flashes of them.

All I did was dodge security and now stand here while people thirty miles away hack the system through my gloves, of all things. Maybe I was scared for nothing.

It was dark, with only a feeble light and glow of the computer screen to illuminate the room

Was this intended to have mention two sources of light, or one? Right now it sounds like one.

Arceus's

While this way is correct (I know that for sure for once XD) Areceus' is also correct.

"You want permission to test it on Bevan?


Otherwise I think I saw some foreshadowing, and I enjoyed the further character development.

I like the idea that Bevan can't trust people that much, on either side. He only trusts in what he has to do. Oooo I could see it now, Bevan finds out he is now psychic, but doesn't fully accept the explanation, then decides to run away, only to confront the baddies head on then some more things happen? XD Anyway, nicely done.
 

Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
2,778
Posts
14
Years
Thanks for the reviews, Pich_u and Feign - I've fixed all the errors. ^_^ But I've decided to keep "Arceus's", simply because I prefer to use 's rather than just ' when the word ending in s is a singular (a method that is correct).

Pich_u said:
Wow, they have Saturday morning TV?
For the upper class. ;]

Pich_u said:
I'm enjoying this a lot.
Thanks. :D

Pich_u said:
Augury Mk2?
I'm sorry? What do you mean by this?

Pich_u said:
Oh, and how would you pronounce "O-oh"?
Just like a stuttered "Oh". :P

Feign said:
Otherwise I think I saw some foreshadowing
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

Feign said:
I enjoyed the further character development.
Thanks. ^^ I thought it was time for it. :)

Feign said:
I like the idea that Bevan can't trust people that much, on either side. He only trusts in what he has to do.
Excellent. :D This is the effect I was intending for. ^_^

Feign said:
Oooo I could see it now, Bevan finds out he is now psychic, but doesn't fully accept the explanation, then decides to run away, only to confront the baddies head on then some more things happen?
Did you possibly come to this conclusion in part because of the title of Chapter Fifteen? ;D
 

Feign

Clain
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Did you possibly come to this conclusion in part because of the title of Chapter Fifteen? ;D

To be honest, I hadn't looked at the first post in quite some time >.> XD

I only assumed it, for two reasons, the foreshadowing I caught on to, and character development.
 

Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
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Ah, OK. :P

Then allow me to tease you with an inconclusive answer to your musings. ;D

Spoiler:
 

Feign

Clain
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  • Seen Jan 25, 2023
Let's see here:

Spoiler:


About all I can think of
 

Caliban

Trying to change my life, brb~
339
Posts
15
Years
Thanks for the reviews, Pich_u and Feign
No probs. I'm trying to get SD to work out that she's four chapters behind...


For the upper class. ;]
As in "people who matter"?


I'm sorry? What do you mean by this?
Sounds like Bevan might become AMk2, from what Cicero says. As in, following in Dad's footsteps.... Or Augury might split into two midgets!

I didn't realise that you'd put so much thought into Tocra. Might I enquire as to what percentage of post-apocalyptic schools have campus cops?
 
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Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
2,778
Posts
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Feign said:
Let's see here:

About all I can think of.
Two half-truths in there. ;D

Pich_u said:
No probs. I'm trying to get SD to work out that she's four chapters behind...
XP. She'll review when she's ready. :P

Pich_u said:
As in "people who matter"?
You've got it. XD

Pich_u said:
Sounds like Bevan might become AMk2, from what Cicero says. As in, following in Dad's footsteps.... Or Augury might split into two midgets!
Shhhhhhh.... Don't want people to know about the midgets. ;O

Pich_u said:
I didn't realise that you'd put so much thought into Tocra
I have. Setting is everything in this story. I even have a map with detailed descriptions which will be posted on the website. :3

Pich_u said:
Might I enquire as to what percentage of post-apocalyptic schools have campus cops?
100%. All schools have police to ensure (a) order and (b) that questioning, idealism, and political opposition in general is crushed at an early age.

Any more trivia you'd like to know about Torcra? :D
 

Caliban

Trying to change my life, brb~
339
Posts
15
Years
Yeah, like the picture of the Sailor Moo-an in the spoiler below, it would probably be slightly offputting.

Spoiler:


Uh... is your Tocra based off a real-world country?
Is there a region with no pokemon life?
Will you include real animals?
Have you made a list of flora and fauna?
Will you include flashbacks to before the apocalypse so that we know where Tocra is in relation to pre-apoc Kanto/Johto?
Have the continents moved?
Is Tocra currently at war with another country?
Have they encountered a Deoxys?
What is Tocra's population?
What is the Oligarchy's policy on illegal immigrants?

etc...


Spoiler:
 
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Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
2,778
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Pich_u said:
Uh... is your Torcra based off a real-world country?
Nope.

Pich_u said:
Is there a region with no pokemon life?
No.

Pich_u said:
Will you include real animals?
There are real animals, but I doubt they'll appear in the story, since they're not significant.

Pich_u said:
Have you made a list of flora and fauna?
That would be waaaaay too difficult. XD

Pich_u said:
Will you include flashbacks to before the apocalypse so that we know where Torcra is in relation to pre-apoc Kanto/Johto
Not necessarily flashbacks, but you will get a glimpse of it, yes. Not too far way, actually. ;D

Pich_u said:
Have the continents moved
Naturally.

Pich_u said:
Is Torcra currently at war with another country
Torcra is a bit like Zimbabwe in the sense that it's despotic, but it doesn't really bother outside countries enough to provoke war.

Pich_u said:
Have they encountered a Deoxys
No.

Pich_u said:
What is Tocra's population?
~100 million, which is massive, post apocalyptic.

Pich_u said:
What is the Oligarchy's policy on illegal immigrants?
About as many people move to Torcra as to North Korea or Zimbabwe. It's not a big issue. Illegal emigrants, however, is a different story. ;O

(Btw, these are all taken from my planning notes, which, if you saw, you'd notice there is a lot of scribbling out. XD That's because as something I planned becomes inconvenient to the plot, I change it. So these answers are non-binding. XD)
 
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Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
2,778
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Pich_u said:
WILL CYRUS (or descendants) RETURN???
I can say that Cyrus will not return. He has been dead for a century. As for his descendants, you'll just have to wait and see. ;D
 

Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
2,778
Posts
14
Years
Chapter Fifteen: To Dance with the Devil
"That's odd."

"What?"

Charlotte had brought Bevan a tray of food. He was sick with a fever, body aches, and a sore throat.

"Well," Charlotte started, "when I came to your room, the door opened by itself."

Bevan, too tired to analyse what that might mean, just shrugged it off. "Guess you bumped it or something."

"I guess."

*​

Evan Emerit sat in his study, and heard the door open. It was Lord Augury. He looked down at his work again and saw that it was complete gibberish.

"Oh – another one of these dreams." Evan was angry.

"Why the hint of frustration, Evan? Do you expect the power that you absorbed to lay dormant forever?"

"You did for many years. Why do you appear now?"

"Because I'm taking over, Evan. Look out the window – this is our region. Soon it will be mine."

"You don't scare me."

"That's a mistake, Evan. While I may not be fully independent from you now, I will be soon. And then it will become a battle for your consciousness. I am the lovechild of your thirst for power and Giratina's strength. You are imperfect and human."

"And you're not?"

"We don't really know what I am. But are you willing to risk finding out? Not that you have any choice."

"How do I stop you?"

"Had you asked me in our last 'encounter' I mightn't have had the will or independence to avoid answering a direct question. Now, I have that ability. And I'm certainly not going to tell you."

"So why appear? Just to taunt me?"

"Precisely. Talking to me plagues on your mind, and for you to be weak makes it easier for me to take over. Oh, and Evan?"

"What?"

"On your way up, don't forget to scream."

*​

Three days later, Bevan was feeling better. He also felt a bit odd. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he seemed to be more aware of his surroundings. He guessed that it was just some delirium that hadn't worn off yet.

"Time to train up your Pokémon, Bevan," Charlotte had announced. "You've got three Pokémon with a lot of potential, but not enough experience." After affixing a Razor Claw to Gligar, the two began training at 6PM.

"Gligar evolves into Gliscor when you train it well enough at night, and with a Razor Fang attached to it," Charlotte had explained.

Feels like school all over again, Bevan thought wryly.

"Shouldn't we find out what Gligar thinks?"

Charlotte raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's his body that's going to change – not mine. Shouldn't he get the choice?"

"He's a Pokémon. Of course he wants to evolve. It's instinct."

Bevan shrugged, taking her at her word.

After about half an hour of speed practice and muscle training, Gligar glowed a light more intense than anything he'd ever seen before. Bevan stepped back, watching the light change form, to something bigger and stronger. He was in awe – he'd never seen an actual evolution take place before.

After about five seconds, the light began to fade, and the colours of Gliscor appeared.

"<What… happened?>"

Gliscor looked at his claws, moved around and examined himself.

"Gligar – er, Gliscor, you've evolved." Bevan was smiling with pride.

"<Evolved? But… why? Didn't you like who I was?>"

Charlotte interjected. "Gliscor, it's not that Bevan didn't like who you were – far from it. It's just that you're stronger in this form."

Gliscor turned to Bevan, its eyes confused.

"<I know you use me for battle. But… you changed me without even asking.>"

Bevan turned helplessly to Charlotte, who spoke. "Gliscor, we all have to grow up eventually. Even humans."

"<Humans change differently from Pokémon. Adult humans remember playful childhoods as distant memories. I'm remembering my playful childhood as a memory from a few minutes ago. And that scares me. I wasn't ready to change.>"

"Gliscor," Bevan started, "if there's one thing I've learned in the past week or so, it's our job to make a difference. Personal feelings are standing in the way – mine, yours, and possibly even Dagger's. It's ugly, because we could have lived a life where we indulged our own personal whims. That world has changed, Gliscor. I should have considered you, Gliscor, but ultimately, your evolution had to happen sooner rather than later."

*​

"<You're a Gliscor now? Congratulations!>"

It was nighttime, and Bevan's three Pokémon were sitting in a circle, discussing the events of the day. Larvitar was admiring his friend's new bulk and power.

"<It's not so great.>"

"<What? Why?>" Larvitar was baffled. "<You're stronger, smarter, faster…>"

"<But not as happy. Evolution would suit you, Larvitar. You're competitive and love to battle. I was more playful and mischievous. That was what made me happy in life, and with this evolution, it can't. Not only has my body changed, but my mind too.>"

Venonat sat up. "<Different things might make you happy, and sure, you've matured, but deep down, you haven't changed. Not really.>"

"<And you'd know from your last evolution?>"

"<Obviously, I haven't ever evolved myself, although I'm not that far off. But living in a large swarm of Venonat and Venomoth, I was able to talk to a lot of evolved Pokémon. They said that while evolution is new and difficult at first, you don't change who you are.>"

"<For my sake, Venonat, I hope you're right. Because right now, I've been plunged into a totally unfamiliar perspective – I see things differently and less optimistically. It's a bit depressing.>"

Larvitar raised an eyebrow. "<What could be so depressing?>"

Gliscor shook his head solemnly. "<Have you considered what we're being used for? We're fighting for a terrorist that's brainwashed Bevan. Before that, we were about to fight for an oppressive empire that enslaves, tortures, and kills people. The thrill of the fight lasts only in battle, not outside of it. Between that, we have to live with what we're doing.>"

"<Gliscor,>" Venonat started, "<that's only one way of looking at things. There is good as well. We're now fighting against that oppressive empire. We have a trainer that cares for us, even if he is a little inexperienced. There are two sides to every issue, Gliscor.>"

"<And one side's prevailing, unfortunately.>"

Larvitar stared at Venonat, who shrugged.

"<I'm sorry for being such a burden to you two – I know you're only trying to make me feel better. But this evolution has opened my eyes, and perhaps, as the humans say, 'ignorance is bliss'. I was happier not knowing. I don't know when you're supposed to evolve, Larvitar – you're not native to Torcra – but it shouldn't be too far off. And Venonat, I know you will evolve soon. Perhaps then you will see what I see.>" Gliscor pushed Bevan's bedroom door open. "<I need to be alone for a while.>"

After he left, Larvitar turned to Venonat. "<He's not right, is he?>"

Venonat looked down. "<He's overemphasising the bad. But his concerns are real, Larvitar. We'll only know when we evolve.>"

Larvitar's eyes twinkled at the thought. "<I can't wait. My evolution is a massive dinosaur – Tyranitar.>"

"<Did you ever live in the wild?>"

"<No. I lived near a place called Goldenrod City in a region called Johto. The only other Pokémon I ever saw were my parents. My dad, an Aggron, didn't really talk to me much. My mother was a mighty Tyranitar: that's what I'm going to be someday.>"

Venonat smiled. Larvitar's still keen, but after Gligar evolved, I'm not so sure I want to.

*​
Piera was a psychic and ghost type Pokémon native to Torcra. She – always a she – floated in the air, her dark violet gases rippling into the air. Her long arms extended vaguely from her body, her black hair flowing gently, as if there was a constant wind to blow it. She was faceless, mysterious, and powerful. And yet somehow, she was graceful.

"Psychic!"

"Protect!"

As Dagger burst into the protected room, Scizor raised its arms, creating a large green shield that stopped Piera's onslaught of invisible psychic waves.

The room was carpeted with crimson, with a fireplace crackling steadily. Manfred von Stauffenberg stood in a corner, terrified. Dagger, in his left hand, held a "dead man's trigger" bomb, where if his finger were to come off the button, the explosives strapped to him would be set off, killing everyone in the room. Commanding Piera was Lord Augury, who had foresaw Dagger's attempt to kidnap his spiritual advisor.

"So we meet at last," taunted Augury. "I must say, your plan of action was rather ill-thought."

"If you can really read my mind, Emerit, you'd know that I intended for you to come. You fell into my trap."

Augury tilted his head.

"Very clever, Dagger. Your suit is made of an assorted mixture of dark Pokémon furs, is it not? That would be how you evaded capture by the two Moonlight Squad members at the gate. It would also be why I can only get glimpses of your thoughts, even now."

"Give me the priest or I'll blow us all up."

"The fun's beginning, Christopher. Piera, Will-o-Wisp!"

"Dodge!"

Piera rose into the air, releasing ghostly, silver flames at Scizor. Scizor leapt quickly out of the way, and the flames scattered onto the carpet. They dissolved the moment they touched it, but left a distinct burn. In the corner, von Stauffenberg let out a quiet wince.

"Night Slash!"

Scizor's claws darkened and Scizor jumped speedily at Piera in a whir of light and dark red.

"Guillotine," said Augury calmly, as Scizor approached.

Piera did something both disgusting and incredible: her dark neck extended, her head took the form of a blade, and it captured Scizor. There was no crunch, just the whoosh of a ghostly blade penetrating Scizor's thick shell.

Scizor flopped helplessly to the ground, and Dagger recalled it, swearing under his breath.

"You may have won there, but if my finger comes off this button, you'll be dead."

"Which begs the question, Dagger, why have you not done it?" Augury recalled his Pokémon and stepped closer to Dagger. "I could rip the circuitry psychically, but we both know that risks setting off the bomb. I could try to hold your finger in place, but you'd feel the tingle of the Umbreon fur on your finger as it resisted my psychic prying, giving you opportunity to release it. [FONT=&quot]"[/FONT]

"I've seen a glimpse into your mind. You've tried to remove emotion and feeling from Bevan, but you don't practice what you preach. You're afraid of dying, aren't you, Dagger? Only if I push you into a corner will you release that finger."

"You want to risk that analysis being wrong?"

"There is no risk in zero percent. That battle was a pretext, allowing me to see your feelings. If I were to beat you in a full Pokémon battle, as I surely would, you would pull the trigger. If I were to try to use my own abilities, you would pull it. But if I leave now and let you have von Stauffenberg, who will be of no use to you, then I can save myself. So take him."

And with that, Augury simply walked out of the room, slowly and calmly, leaving a dumbstruck Dagger with his hostage.
 
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Swift!

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Another great chapter, Citrinin. :D

Venonat sat up. "<Gliscor, you're still the same person. Different things might make you happy, and sure, you've matured, but you're still the same person deep down.>"

This is the only thing I have a problem with. As you know, Gliscor is not a person. But, I guess you couldn't have said that he was the same Pokemon deep down, seeing as he isn't. Or maybe you could have, I don't know.

I feel bad for Gliscor. He didn't want to evolve, but Bevan made him. :(
 

Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
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Katherine said:
Another great chapter, Citrinin. :D
Thanks, Katherine. ^^

Katherine said:
This is the only thing I have a problem with. As you know, Gliscor is not a person. But, I guess you couldn't have said that he was the same Pokemon deep down, seeing as he isn't. Or maybe you could have, I don't know.
On consideration, you're right: "the same person" does sound a bit weird. Do you think "Different things might make you happy, and sure, you've matured, but deep down, you haven't changed. Not really." would work?

Katherine said:
I feel bad for Gliscor. He didn't want to evolve, but Bevan made him. :(
:( This was the intended effect - to create a relationship between Bevan and Gliscor that wasn't simple. And evolution seemed like the most plausible way to do this. It was also to further develop Bevan's newfound emotional hardening, and how he was now expecting others, including his Pokémon, to conform.
 

Swift!

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On consideration, you're right: "the same person" does sound a bit weird. Do you think "Different things might make you happy, and sure, you've matured, but deep down, you haven't changed. Not really." would work?

That sounds good and it still makes sense. :D

:( This was the intended effect - to create a relationship between Bevan and Gliscor that wasn't simple. And evolution seemed like the most plausible way to do this. It was also to further develop Bevan's newfound emotional hardening, and how he was now expecting others, including his Pokémon, to conform.

Well, it worked. :(
 

Citrinin

Nephrotoxic.
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Katherine said:
That sounds good and it still makes sense. :D
Excellent. ^^ I've changed it now.

Katherine said:
Well, it worked. :(
Thanks. :P I don't like my protagonists to be perfect. By removing Bevan's flaw of being too used to upper-class life and cowardly, I created this one.
 

Feign

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  • Seen Jan 25, 2023
"On your way up, don't forget to scream."

I liked this line :D

This might have been explained a while ago, but are humans able to understand pokemon? But in the case above, it would seem it could be excused as the two interpreting Gliscor's facial expressions (for example) as spoken words.

I wonder if Bevan's relationship with his pokemon will improve, such as like only fighting for him, and being proud of it. Like that they wouldn't have to be concerned about the outside world. (or perhaps this response is too typical in the pokemon world?)

Otherwise I didn't find any mistakes.

It is interesting to see flaws in Dagger's character. Nice job overall! ;)
 
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