• Our software update is now concluded. You will need to reset your password to log in. In order to do this, you will have to click "Log in" in the top right corner and then "Forgot your password?".
  • Welcome to PokéCommunity! Register now and join one of the best fan communities on the 'net to talk Pokémon and more! We are not affiliated with The Pokémon Company or Nintendo.

Burning Moon [Yes, this is a Twilight fanfic.]

Melinda

[b][i][color=#fff]#teamsonia[/color][/i][/b]
2,269
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 33
  • Seen Sep 18, 2022
Let's jump right into it, shall we? The oh so dreaded Twilight. :P I'm not sure how to do this. Er, I'll post the rating and use the summary I wrote for fanfiction.net. :3 This was start back in 2009.

"Harlan and Josephine have been running for a long time. They need to find the Vampires that they're Uncle told them about. A coven that would be strong enough to save them from their own father."

Rating: K+/T [Not so sure atm.]

Unofficial Beta readers
Alysionn
Kirozane

A few things about this chapter. It's really long and things happen kind of fast.
Italics are used for thoughts and when characters are saying something with emphasis.
Anyone willing to read this long long chapter has my gratitude.


Chapter One​

My sister is waiting for me under the tree where I left her. She was playing with the flowers around the trunk of the tree.

"Josephine!"

"Yes?"

"I found out where they are," I said as I ran toward the tree.

"Really? Where? How?" Josephine questioned suspiciously.

"I...uh...well there were these vampires in town."

"Oh, Harlan! You know we're supposed to be keeping a low profile. What if those vampires were part of Marlo's army? They could be following you right now!" she screams, cutting me off. "Let me finish what I was saying!" I scream back. She calms down a bit and stares at me with a sour look on her face.

"Okay, as I was saying, these vampires are nomads that were passing through. I could just tell they weren't part of Marlo's army." She was mumbling something under her breath. "I walked up to them in an alley. Their names were Peter and Charlotte. I asked them if they had ever heard of the Cullens. 'Yes we do.' Peter said. I explained to them how important it was for us to find them."

I take a deep breath before continuing.

"After I finished explaining, while leaving out the important details, he told me that I would be able to find the Cullens in Forks, Washington. He told us to be careful just in case we ran into the scent of werewolves that inhabit part of the area. Peter also said they had a half-human vampire living with them as well."

There is a long silence after I finish talking. Josephine is contemplating something. "Werewolves...another half-human...?" whispering quietly to herself. She stood up suddenly. I jumped. She didn't notice, she was lost in thought. There are humans walking by.

Are you alright?

"I'm fine." Answering as if I had spoken out loud.

Do you think we should go to Forks?

"That's the only clue we have."

Josephine took off into a sudden sprint. I run catching up to her in no time. I'm a lot faster than she is, but she's a lot stronger than I am. We balance each other out I guess. As we ran I couldn't help wondering what the Cullens would think of us. There wasn't really a easy way to explain to them why we were looking for them. We heard tale of a seer they had among their family. Would she see us coming? Do they already know we're looking for them? Are they ready for us?

We ran in silence. Since we were staying in the northern most mountains of California, we were almost to the border of Oregon. It would take at least one or two days before we reached Washington. Especially because we would need to hunt. As we reached the border we stopped at a gas station along the freeway. We washed up in their bathroom. Being half-human we can't go long with out stopping to rest.

I wash my face in the graffiti filled bathroom. I look at my reflection in the crusty mirror. My sister and I stand out in among the vampires. Humans don't see us as any different then they see themselves. We are about five feet tall, with long black hair that reaches our waist, our eyes are bright green, and skin that seems to glow when its in the sun. We have a smooth complexion and almost impenetrable skin that attracts a quite bit of unwanted attention. The only difference between us, is that Josephine has a small mole under her left eye right above her cheek.
Most of our time is spent away from humans and vampires alike. Due to the fact some human question us about our strangely beautiful appearance and our smooth glowing skin. Vampires don't usually give us enough time to explain what we are, so it's easier just to avoid them unless we need information. I was extremely lucky to find Peter and Charlotte who were unexpectedly understanding. Only because they'd already met someone else that was like us.

At a glance, my sister and I look like fifteen year old twins. The more they stare, the more they think we could be over twenty, but look young. We may look and think older than we are, but we're actually only ten years old.

"Are you done yet," Josephine called from outside the bathroom door. "Almost," I sighed. I checked the to make sure I had all the leaves and twigs out of my hair before leaving the bathroom. She was leaning against the wall next to the door.

"You take forever to get ready," she chuckled. I blushed slightly. "Should we keep going? Or should we hunt?"

"I'm a bit thirsty. Let's hunt on the way."

"Fine."

We started in the direction of the woods. A group of men blocked our path. There were three of them. The blond one was about six feet tall. His white t-shirt was stained and torn; his jeans were the same. He used a rubber band to tie his hair back. The second one was about the same height as the first with dark brown hair a half an inch long. He was wearing a long-sleeved plaid collar shirt and dark blue jeans. The last one was a red head. He had his hair spiked up. The white tank top he was wearing was tight fitted to his muscular upper body. He was wear black basketball shorts. They were all bare foot.

"Where are you young ladies headed to on a fine day like this?" the blond one asked.

"None of you business," Josephine spat at him. I instinctively grabbed her hand to keep her from attacking him. "There's no need to be mean. We were just wondering if you ladies would care to join us at a party we're heading to," he said calmly pointing at his friends. That's when I noticed the man with dark brown hair staring at Josephine with excitement in his eyes.

I don't think that's all they want.

Without looking at me, Josephine squeezed my hand to let me know she knew it too. At the exact same time I saw a log floating behind the blond man's head. I fought back giggle.

"Hey!" I heard someone shout.

Startled, Josephine dropped the log. The men jumped. A young girl about sixteen years old ran over to where we stood. She was the same height as us, her hair was a mahogany color, and her eyes were a shocking blue. Her skin was a bit pale, but not as pale as ours. "Are you harassing these girls?" the girl asked in an accusing tone. "Why no, we were just asking them to a party tonight," the red head said. I was surprised when she walked in between us, "I don't think they're interested. You should move on along now."
Reluctantly they turned and left muttering to each other. I was amazed that they listened to this scrawny girl. "I'm sorry about that," she said turning around to look at us. "There's always creeps like them hanging around gas stations. Especially ones that attract travelers."

"You don't need to apologize," I told her. "It's not your fault."

She smiled at me still looking apologetic. "My name is Mischa Fuller."

I smiled back at her, "I'm Harlan Gale."

"And I'm Josephine Gale," she said releasing my hand. "We were actually about to continue our trip to Washington." Mischa wouldn't have noticed, but I've been around Josephine too long. She was edging towards the woods. "Really? Why are you guys headed there?" Mischa asked innocently. "We're going to visit some...relatives," I answered.

"What part of Washington? My mom and I are going to go through Canada through Washington."

"Forks."

"You're walking all the way to Forks?" she asked sounding horrified.

"Um...well yes," I said. Mischa looked like she was angry. "I can't let you walk to Forks!" she exclaimed. Technically we weren't walking, but I didn't want to say that. "There's a lot freaky people out there! Let my mom and me drop you off." She seemed excited, like she just made two new best friends. Little did she know, she was probably talking to the freakiest people she'd ever known. I was a bit frustrated because we could take care of ourselves. We have been for almost five years. I looked at Josephine.

Should we?

Josephine looked at me with an exasperated expression. "I don't think we have a choice," she said under her breath so Mischa wouldn't hear. We both looked at Mischa, who looked like she was going to jump out of her skin. "Okay," we said in unison almost sounding like a choir.

Mischa was so ecstatic that she opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. She grabbed both of us by the wrist and started pulling us toward a white Sienna. The woman in the front seat looked just like Mischa except older. Her eyes were the same shade of blue. She gave us a friendly smile. "Hi there!" she said waving.

"Mom can you drop my new friends off at Forks, Washington on the way to Canada?" Mischa asked already getting in the car. "Sure, thing sweetie." She pushed a button and the side doors opened. Josephine got in first. The door closed after I climbed in next to her. "I'm Josephine and this is my twin sister Harlan," Josephine said pointing at me. I waved a bit uncomfortably. "It's nice to meet you girls," Mischa's mom said as she started the car and left the gas station. "I'm Mischa's mom, Kelly Fuller. Just call me Kelly." She gave us a wink through the rear view mirror. We headed to the freeway. Mischa was talking almost constantly the whole time.

I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew Josephine was poking my cheeks. "Wake up, sis!" She was nudging me in the side. I opened my eyes and we were still in the Sienna. I looked out the window to see where we were. It was a building surrounded by a thick forest. Everything seemed to be green, which was fine by me because green is my favorite color. It was just me and Josephine in the car. "Where's Kelly and Mischa?" I asked as I realized they were gone.

"Asking for directions to Cullen house in that store," she growled waving impatiently at the store in front of us. It was a backpacking supply store of some kind called Newton's. "How do they know about the Cullens? How long was I asleep?" How long was I asleep. I didn't even know what time it was. "About six hours. I had to tell them. Kelly insisted on dropping us off at our relatives house," she said in a quiet voice, shaking her head.

What's wrong?

"Nothing. A little nervous," she did look nervous. I'd never seen her look nervous before. I have to admit I was anxious about meeting the Cullens. A minute later the Fullers returned to the car.

"Hey your up," Mischa said cheerfully.

"Yeah, I didn't know I fell asleep."

She's so perky. Josephine chuckled under her breath. "Well, we know where to take you now," Mischa's voice sounded sad. I realized why she was sad and said, "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll meet again someday."

Mischa gave me a weak smile and got in the passenger seat. Kelly was silent. She drove out of Forks until we couldn't see houses anymore. I almost thought they were trying to kidnap us, but she turned onto an unpaved driveway. We drove through the woods. It seemed endless. Finally I saw it. A large white house. I was sure Mischa and Kelly hadn't seen it yet. Their human eyes didn't work like ours. Josephine suddenly sat up. I knew she saw the house too. We said our goodbyes to the Fullers at the edge of the forest as far from the house as possible. We didn't want to put the Fullers in danger. Mischa burst into tears.

"We'll meet again," I comforted her.

"I hope so," she said through her tears.

"Goodbye," we all said at the simultaneously.

I wished them a safe trip to Canada while they drove away. As soon as they were out of sight Josephine reached for my hand and we turned to meet the family living in this house. Before we took a step there were vampires gathered at the front door. I squeezed Josephine's hand.

They were staring at us with surprised expressions on their faces. All of them were beautiful. Although I noticed that all of them had gold colored eyes instead of crimson except one. The one that spoke was the one with bronze colored hair. "Welcome. I am Carlisle. What brings you to our home?" he said calmly.

For the first time Josephine had nothing to say. She stood at an angle so that she was partially behind me. "I am Harlan Gale and this is my twin sister Josephine Gale." I paused. This time the one with reddish brown hair spoke. "They mean us no harm. They are just like our Renesmee," he said putting his hand on the head of a little girl that pushed her way to the front so she could see better. She looked like she was the size of a 4 year old human, but we knew she was more than human. Renesmee leaned forward sniffing our scent curiously. The girl with the crimson eyes picked her up and held her defensively. "You're the reason I couldn't see anything right for the last week?" The one with short black hair spoke this time a little annoyed.
"Would you like to come in? It seems like you have something to tell us," Carlisle said. He gestured for us to walk through the door. Though we didn't move from our spot. I wanted to know how the one with reddish brown hair knew what we wanted.

How did you know?

His expression became blank.

"I can read minds," he said sounding smug. I was used to letting people hear the thoughts I wanted them to hear. But he can read the thoughts I didn't want people to hear. My eyes began to narrow.

"Let's continue this inside, shall we?" Carlisle insisted.

I tugged on Josephine's hand to move her forward. The look she gave me told me she didn't intend on moving. Don't worry. I'm here. She nodded and walked with me. They made room for us to walk through the front door. We followed Carlisle down a hallway into what looked like their dining room. He waved at two chairs for us to sit in and went to go sit at the head of the table.
The rest of his family filed in and filled up the other chairs. Renesmee was on the girl with crimson eye's lap. "Let me introduce my family." He started from the right because we sat to his left. "This is my wife Esme, Edward, his mate Bella and their daughter Renesmee, Rosalie and Emmett, and Jasper and Alice." They all looked at us as if waiting for us to speak. Alice looked a bit frustrated. We kept quiet, not knowing what to say. "Now, why is that you've come here," he said in a kind voice.

"Our mother died the day we were born. She left us a letter that we found when we were five." I glanced at Josephine. She was staring at the table. I continued, "In the letter it said, 'If I do not live after the girls are born, I want my daughters Harlan and Josephine to go live with the Cullens.' It also said, 'Your father will be looking for you when you are seven. Do not let him catch you.'"

I looked at the faces staring at me. They were shocked by my words.

"Who is your mother, if you don't mind my asking," Edward asked.

"I don't mind at all. Since you can read minds you probably already know," I said. He nodded. "Her name was Elizabeth Gale. I don't know how she knew about your family. She probably heard tales from our...father and thought we would be safe here.

"We don't want to be a burden. Of course we realize you have a large family. If there is no room for us we understand. We don't want to intrude," I said. Josephine was staring at me. I could tell even though I wasn't looking at her.

No one spoke for about half a second. "So you're half-human?" Bella asked.

"Yes."

"Your father is a vampire?"

"Yes."

Bella stared at me like she was longing to ask me more, but stopped herself. "I suppose we have room don't we," Carlisle said finally. His family seemed to think otherwise. The only one who seemed genuinely pleased was his wife, Esme. She flashed a caring smile at us. "We can't just refuse them now can we." It was more of a command than a question.
Esme showed us to the guest bedroom. It was nice. The walls were white. There was a king size bed with beautiful sheets. Everything in the room matched. We thanked Esme and followed her back into the living room. The others were sitting around watching T.V. I saw Renesmee playing in the backyard with a giant wolf through the glass walls that made up the back of the house.

The wolf scared me, but I kept the fear to myself. Everyone turned to stare at us as we walked in the room. We just stood there. Renesmee came into the house and walked right up to me. The wolf stood in the doorway watching us. Instinctively I put up a force field around us. It looked like she walked into an invisible wall. She fell down looking dazed. The others flocked to her to make sure she was okay.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to," I said backing up.

"I'm okay," Renesmee said in a high, bell like voice. She smiled at me and I felt better at once. "How did you do that?" Her expression was full of curiosity. It was quiet. Everyone was waiting for my answer. "It's one of my abilities," I said slowly.

"That's so cool," Renesmee's voice chimed.

"You said it's one of your abilities. What's the other one?" Jasper asked looking vaguely interested. I looked at him unsure of myself. Josephine linked her arm in mine to comfort me.

"Interesting." This time Edward spoke. His mind reading was getting annoying. He was smiling to himself.

"What is?" Bella asked.

"I'll let them explain," Edward answered.

"I can transmit my thoughts to any mind from any distance as long as I know where they are," I explained. "And I..." Josephine started. She looked at me and I smiled reassuringly. "I can move objects with my mind and..."

"You can move objects with your mind?" Rosalie asked, in a tone of disbelief.

I laughed quietly and Josephine smiled. "Do you think you could show us? I've never heard of anyone being able to do that," Emmett coaxed from the sofa. Josephine unlinked our arms and looked around. There was a piano in the corner of the living room.

The piano.

Josephine giggled.

I looked at her to see where she was looking. The others followed my gaze. She was staring at the piano that I pointed out for a second and suddenly it was 2 feet above the floor. The Cullens jumped back in surprise. "Please don't break my piano," Edward pleaded, amused at the same time. We both laughed this time.

Put it down. The piano gracefully floated back into place, landing without a sound. "Amazing," Carlisle said to himself.

"I can also control the thought process and emotions with my singing." Josephine looked a bit more comfortable now. "Like Uncle Jasper!" Renesmee blurted out with excitement. "I just control the emotions around me. I can't do anything with my voice."

That explains why we felt so comfortable. It was oddly quiet. The silence lasted about a minute long, yet it was excruciating. No one seemed to know what to say. "Harlan?" Bella called approaching me.

"Yes?"

"Do you think you could do that thought transmitting thing to me. I'm curious."

I smiled slightly and thought it over. I didn't know what I should say to her. Then it came to me. Are you Renesmee's birth mother? I made sure only she heard it, besides Edward. She stared at me with a blank expression for a second then answered. "Yes, yes I am." Edward was staring at me. It felt like his eyes were burning into my skin. I could feel myself turning red.
The sound of rain tapping on the glass broke the silence. There were so many clouds it looked like the middle of the night. It was only about three in the afternoon. Josephine nudged my side. There was a loud menacing growl coming from the woods.

"Don't worry. That's one of the werewolves that live in this area," Alice assured us. "Her name is Leah. She's unsure of you two. Then again she is always too uptight." Alice and Rosalie began giggling hysterically. A low growl stopped their enjoyment of an inside joke we didn't understand. The growl came from the doorway. Instead of a wolf there was a giant boy, or man. I couldn't tell. His head was brushing the top of the doorway. He was muscular and he had a nasty scent.

"You know, Jacob, you're almost as uptight as she is," Rosalie snuffed at him. "It's not our fault she..." Before she finished they broke out in hysterical laughter again. Jacob took one long stride forward. Jasper and Emmett were in front of him before I could blink. "Jacob."
 
Last edited:
682
Posts
14
Years
Oh my god it's Twilight!
well, the story is in past tense isn't it?
Some of your writing is in the present tense, like this:

-She smiled at me still looking apologetic. "My name is Mischa Fuller."

I smiled back at her, "I'm Harlan Gale."-


I put in the D's in bold. Other than that I can't think of anything else.
 

Melinda

[b][i][color=#fff]#teamsonia[/color][/i][/b]
2,269
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 33
  • Seen Sep 18, 2022
Oh. how I miss this story. I have a lot of editing to do.

Yes, you do. :P

Oh my god it's Twilight!
well, the story is in past tense isn't it?
Some of your writing is in the present tense, like this:

-She smiled at me still looking apologetic. "My name is Mischa Fuller."

I smiled back at her, "I'm Harlan Gale."-


I put in the D's in bold. Other than that I can't think of anything else.

Thanks. :3
I kept going back and forth between past and present. xD I'll fix it. ^_^
 

OpenDoorLeia

The Will of One
17
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 30
  • Seen Apr 1, 2013
Yeah. I noticed that this story started out in present tense, then suddenly became past tense. It's better to just pick one or the other, but I'd recommend going with past tense because it flows better, and sounds nicer.

Another word of advice is that when someone else is talking you should probably start a new paragraph. I noticed a few instances where there are two separate people talking in one block of text, and that comes off as a bit confusing.

You also spelled "breath" as "breathe" a few times, and some sentences sounded a bit clunky.

I'm not really into Twilight, but I think I'll give this story a read for the heck of it. I did like Josephine and Harlan, and the relationship they both shared. I'm also kind of interested to see how they interact with the Cullens and all that jazz. Anyway. That's all.
 
Back
Top