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Old July 23rd, 2013 (7:51 PM).
Gliese's Avatar
Gliese Gliese is offline
I Drink Nozz-A-La
     
    Join Date: May 2012
    Posts: 51
    This will not be a typical story you would expect to find on this forum, and it's highly likely to fail to gain much popularity here. However, that will not prevent me from posting the first chapter.

    This story is one I've written on another forum in which it has already achieved some level of success. I won't mention the forum by name as I don't recall this site's policy on mentioning the names of other sites, but if anyone is a member of that site they may have seen this already.

    The first thing that will set this apart is that it will not be based on any anime, game, book, or fandom, but on real world events. This story will span the entire century from 2020 to 2100. Although it is real world-based, do expect some science-fiction as I progress.

    The next is the way it is written. Each chapter will be a series of what looks like snippets from a news article rather than actions and dialogue. There won't be any character development, however that will be replaced by the development of nations and societies as the story progresses.

    Now, let's begin this show with a great catastrophe.

    Chapter I: Pacific Nuclear War

    North Korean Nuclear Strikes in Pacific
    July 2, 2020

    At 8 AM PDT North Korea launched numerous nuclear attacks against targets across the Pacific. An estimated thirty-eight nuclear warheads were launched, and it is currently believed that twenty-one hit their targets. The rest were shot down or malfunctioned.

    The targets hit were mostly civilian, although US bases were hit, including the naval base at Pearl Harbor. Each bomb had a yield between 20 and 40 kilotons, and the death toll is estimated to be in the millions. A full list of the cities struck will be listed below.

    South Korea
    Three over Seoul, including Yongsan
    Busan
    Japan
    Three over Tokyo, one hitting the Atsugi airbase.
    Kyoto
    Osaka
    Hiroshima
    Nagasaki
    Two over Okinawa, both US military bases.
    US
    Guam Military Base
    Pearl Harbor
    Honolulu
    Kailua
    Anchorage
    Two over San Francisco
    Los Angeles
    Portland

    Missiles fell over the Philippines and Taiwan, along with three more over Japan, but all failed to detonate and only caused minor damage. The rest were shot down by anti-missile systems, which were heading towards the United States.

    The magnitude of these strikes has horrified the world, and the full-scope of the damage has yet to be realized, or has the motivation. President Whitley will address the world soon on this tragedy.

    -----------------------------------------------------
    Emperor Akihito dead, Princess Toshi assumes throne. Prime Minister Oshiro survives
    July 2, 2020. 4:54 PM CDT

    The Imperial Palace was demolished by the attacks, and most of the imperial family, including the reigning emperor, has been killed. Princess Toshi, daughter of former heir Crown Prince Naruhito, was on vacation in the United States during the strikes, and has been declared Empress. Formal ceremonies will be postponed, however.

    Prime Minister
    Oshiro has also been declared alive. He has so far not received any serious injuries, and not in the direction of the radiation. He is scheduled to make a speech this evening, after Whitley's.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    South Korean government demolished.
    July 2, 2020. 4:54 PM CDT

    The entire leadership of South Korea, including President Kyung Yeong, has been killed by the attack on Seoul.

    Local authorities have taken measures, with help from military forces, in maintaining authority. Martial law has been declared until North Korea is dealt with.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Death Toll
    5:00 PM CDT

    The casualties so far include 3,080,376 dead and 7,707,961 injured. The United States suffered 695,465 deaths and 1,222,484 injuries, Japan suffered 1,266,541 deaths and 3,066,537, and South Korea has suffered 1,118,370 deaths and 3,418,940 injuries.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    President Whitley Speech
    6:30 PM
    CDT


    "This morning this nation and her allies suffered the most brutal assault in history. This attack was the result of a sociopath, the Hitler of the twenty-first century, Kim Jong-un.

    I can already assure you that full retaliation against the aggressors is already underway. They will pay the price for the innocent lives they took today, the price that comes with starting a nuclear war. I promise to all of my fellow Americans, and to our allies, that this threat will be no more. This war will be over before the week is up.

    Even after the war ends, however, the ordeal will be far from over. The damage this sociopath has wrought upon us is unfathomable, and will take years, perhaps decades, to rebuild. For many who survived the attacks the nightmare will never really end, and will stick with them for the rest of their lives. Even though, our nations will recover to their full potential.
    San Francisco, Los Angeles, Anchorage, Tokyo, Seoul, and all of the cities hit by nuclear weapons will be rebuilt stronger than ever.

    After the crisis is over we must remain vigilant on keeping nuclear weapons out of the hands of rogue nations and sociopaths to insure that this will never happen again.

    To my fellow humans, I wish you good luck. "

    -----------------------------------------------------
    Nuclear Strikes in North Korea, Invasion Begins
    7:25 PM CDT

    The retaliation against North Korea comes almost immediately after the president's speech. Nuclear weapons strike North Korea's capital in Pyongyang and all military installations throughout the country. The warheads used by the United States in this attack range from 500 kilotons to 1.4 megatons. Experts believe the death toll to be around 3 million, mostly military.

    Immediately after the bombs dropped forces at the DMZ begin engaging North Korean units in combat. Despite larger numbers US-South Korean forces quickly cut through enemy lines, and moves faster once air units begin bombing enemy positions.

    -----------------------------------------------------
    Chinese officials condemn US use of nukes on North Korea.
    8:45 PM CDT

    Xi Jinping, President of then People's Republic of China, has issued a statement of condemnation against the United State's

    unilateral use of nuclear weapons against North Korea, saying that is was a "extremely colossal and unnecessary response".

    While Chinese officials have not yet commented on the opening of conventional conflict along the DMZ, they have warned the United States that any further nuclear attacks by them will be seen as an act of war against China.

    -----------------------------------------------------
    China Invades North Korea, US continues war from the South.
    July 3, 2020 7:50 AM CDT

    Despite last night's condemning of the US for their attack on North Korea, China has launched their own offensive against the fracturing regime.

    Although they cite North Korea's failed attack on Taiwan as the cause, many agree they merely want to prevent a complete loss of their sphere of influence and to save face.
    Reports indicate that the Chinese forces have already entered several North Korean cities, facing little resistance from the decimated North Korean military.

    The United States and South Korea continue their advances, although forces along the DMZ proof more difficult, as these areas were not hit with nuclear weapons out of fear of endangering US and South Korean forces, but progress is being made.

    -----------------------------------------------------
    China sends Washington, Seoul outlines for post-war divisions.
    12:50 PM CDT

    Just hours after Chinese forces invade North Korea they outline their plans to carve up the belligerent nation once the war ends.

    The deal seems to be in the West's favor with US/South Korea getting most of the peninsula, however it is unclear whether or not the Western alliance will agree to it. There's a fair number of individuals who want a full reunification. Officials have yet to respond on this issue.
    (visual will be attached to this post)

    -----------------------------------------------------
    New Missile Defense Systems Failed, why?
    1:30 PM CDT

    When the upgrades to the missile defense systems around the Pacific in 2017 promised that North Korea's new long-range missiles could not even make it to Japan we thought we were safe. Yesterday's attack proves otherwise.

    Further investigation reveals the systems failed to respond to multiple missile launches, and as a result managed to stop less than 30% of the incoming missiles. Further investigation into the error will be needed.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    China, US-Alliance Makes Progress.
    July 4, 2020 11:00 AM
    CDT

    Chinese forces have reached the new proposed borders, and have already begun to secure their holdings.

    US and South Korean forces have defeated the North Korean military along the DMZ and have reached as far in as Singpyong and Sariwon. General James D. Thurman has issued a statement saying they will meet with the Chinese forces by the 7th.

    So far both sides have reported almost no opposition from the civilian populations, many soldiers reported that they merely look at them in fear and flee to their homes.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    Kim Jong-un Lives!!!
    5:30 PM CDT

    Chinese, and US-allied forces in North Korea, and even civilians in South Korea, picked up on a live streaming video from some unknown location, in which Kim Jong-un delivers a short message.

    Translated to English.
    "Citizens, we have won. The Democratic People's Republic of Korea has obliterated the imperialist empires in the West, and Korea is united. We now control the world, and we can bring civilization to the imperialists."

    Experts can't agree on whether this was merely propaganda, or, based on his behavior and previous events if he actually believed what he was saying.

    This is the first contact to the West from North Korea's Supreme Leader since his traffic accident two years ago.

    This now raises the question: Is he still sane? Could the attacks have been the results of insanity?

    More on this story as events continue to unfold.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    7/2 Death Toll Update
    6:30 PM CDT

    The most recent update on the deaths caused by North Korea's nuclear strike on July 2nd.

    US Casualties - 1,169,578

    San Francisco - 170,578
    Los Angeles - 247,557
    Portland - 184,789
    Anchorage - 69,254
    Honolulu - 145,780
    kailua - 138,457
    Pearl Harbor - 195,678
    Guam - 17,485

    Japan Casualties - 2,165,170

    Tokyo - 1,124,778
    Kyoto - 248,147
    Osaka - 314,500
    Hiroshima - 247,557
    Nagasaki - 199,487
    Okinawa - 30,701

    South Korea Casualties - 1,849,504

    Seoul - 1,471,147
    Busan - 378,357

    Total Casualties - 5,184,252

    Of the casualties an estimated 300,000 of them are military.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    North Korea Falls! Pacific Nuclear War ends!
    July 8, 2020 12:35 PM CDT


    The Alliance forces have defeated the North Korean military and reached the Chinese-controlled lines in the North. Most of their fighting force has been killed or surrendered, effectively ending the war.

    Kim Jong-un has not been discovered, and he has made no further attempts to contact anyone. It is assumed that he is hiding in a bunker somewhere, and a search will be made so he can stand trial and possibly explain the millions now dead.

    Leaders of the West Alliance and Chinese officials are scheduled to meet in Bern to discuss the fate of North Korea later this evening. It is still unknown as to whether the West has accepted China's proposal or not.

    And although the war has ended, it will take years and trillions of dollars to fully recover. Some areas and cities may never recover. Seoul is considered by many experts to be too badly damaged to be used as a capital for future government. As well as all US military bases that were struck, including the one at Pearl Harbor, will likely not be rebuilt. As well, any businesses headquartered in the destruction zones will suffer great losses, and some are expected to collapse completely.

    This disaster rings loudly that even a nuclear war, even one this limited, will devastate our global society.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    So, what do you guys think? Should I continue posting this here?

    Note, it will be awhile before the next update, as the other board I'm posting each update by individual news snippets rather than by chapter.
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      #2    
    Old August 6th, 2013 (1:50 PM).
    Cutlerine Cutlerine is offline
    Gone. May or may not return.
       
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      This is different, which I very much like; it's good to see different species of stories, and it's especially good to see alternative modes of storytelling. I always like to see interesting methods of putting together a narrative that match the story being told well, and you've certainly done that here; the story has a kind of sweeping scale to it that'd be hard to get across in a conventional story, where you're more restricted in what you can deal with.

      I'm not so keen on the centred format, though. If it were a script, I could see why you used it, but in this case I'm not sure whether or not it actually adds anything to the story or whether it detracts from it. Given that I can't decide, I'd have to err on the side of caution and say that since I actually noticed it, it might not be the wisest design choice; I mean, if you're imitating journalistic prose, I'd say you wanted to stick to a more utilitarian style.

      There are also a few formatting errors where some random sentences display in a different typeface or in a larger font size.

      Anyway, that's not really that important - I'm mentioning it for the sake of trying to dig something out that you might be able to utilise to improve the story and reading experience overall. There are two more things that I feel I should bring up, and both are probably more significant.

      One is that the story moves fast - very fast. I realise these are snippets of articles and not entire articles in themselves, but they feel almost too skeletal in places for even journalistic prose. It's a risk of the style you're using, I can see that, but still - it could use a little expansion in places.

      The other is that at times the illusion of journalism doesn't quite work as well as it might. Here, for instance:

      Quote:
      The retaliation against North Korea comes almost immediately after the president's speech. Nuclear weapons strike North Korea's capital in Pyongyang and all military installations throughout the country. The warheads used by the United States in this attack range from 500 kilotons to 1.4 megatons. Experts believe the death toll to be around 3 million, mostly military.

      Immediately after the bombs dropped forces at the DMZ begin engaging North Korean units in combat. Despite larger numbers US-South Korean forces quickly cut through enemy lines, and moves faster once air units begin bombing enemy positions.
      For a start, you switch at will between present and past tenses here, which you wouldn't find in a paper or news report; I'm not sure there'd be such emphasis given to the tonnage of the weapons, either, and the news seems to follow a little too close on the heels of the events - I'm sure the relevant information wouldn't have been released (let alone analysed by 'experts') right away; after all, these aren't dealings that would be left open for all to see, and in a modern war I imagine information would be almost as dangerous as warheads, were it to arrive somewhere it wasn't supposed to - so I doubt it would have been made globally available so soon.

      Actually, there's one more tiny little thing.

      Quote:
      the Hitler of the twenty-first century
      I'm not sure that any world leader would openly compare another head of state to Hitler, especially so soon after the event. While the comparison might be justified, I'm not sure it's appropriate for someone to use in a major public speech. The tone of Whitley's speech is a bit too personal for a politician speaking in this context - you'd expect emotion, yes, but more restrained and dignified. You wouldn't expect personal slander.

      Anyway, those few things aside, this is shaping up to be quite an interesting story. Nice form, well suited to the plot. I look forward to seeing where you take this!
      __________________

      For information about A Grand Day Out, a bizarre short story in video game form, click here.
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