Sins & Scars

Commercial: So many things in the past, so many things that are scarred and can never heal. I was foolish. So many years later, and my senses still cannot leave behind the stink of destruction and death. (ONE-SHOT)

WARNING: This is an original fiction by me. Do not use any of this story in part, or in full, in you written work, in a quote, or on a website without my permission. You may link directly to this page, but that is all.



So many things in the past, so many things that are scarred and can never heal. I used my knowledge and skill to do what I thought would help others. I was foolish. I destroyed and I burned. I scarred.

So many years later, and my senses still cannot leave behind the stink of destruction and death.

My sins continue in this new life I?ve built on lies. I have told no one of what I?ve done, and for many years now those around me have remained blissfully unaware of my former self.

There is so much that I could have done for the good of so many. My skills could have taken me many places?anywhere but the path that led to this living death of regret and shame.

But there is no use wallowing in what cannot be changed. I must push ahead, praying for a better tomorrow.

In my young student, my successor, I see a future. I see his innocence, his na?ve belief that there is good in this world. In him, I see myself before the dark times.

And so, to him I pass on my skills, my knowledge?and my painfully learned wisdom. May my mistakes be made up for in some small way by his good deeds.

This is my penance. He is my redemption.


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Author's Notes: This is a short fiction I wrote for a contest back at GHPF with the theme of "redemption." I ended up liking it so much, that I have plans to incorporate it as a prologue into an original fiction of mine. Please leave me some feedback!

It is fine, but too short. I barely got myself into it and it ended. o.0
If you fail, don't make others do the same. It's common sense I guess, so why would it not make sense? A little confusing to be exact.
I'd like there to be a sequel, I don't know about you. Maybe to see how the person has done and whether or not he followed in the the writer's footsteps, I guess that's all I could say..

Thanks for your feedback, Anacortes!

Mori Seirei said:

I actually really liked this fan fic. ^___^ If this is the prologue then I think the length is all right. But if it's the first chapter then you may want to lengthen it much more. ^^

The plot is hard to figure out now, but that's always good for a cliffhanger in the start of the story and allows room for the fic to grow as chapters progress. ^.^

Remember, all you really have to work on is length. A longer fic isn't always better, but by having more lengthly chapters you can show you know the basics of writing and it makes each chapter more exciting. ^^

~Kelsey

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Oops, I forgot to mention that this is a one-shot! For now, at least. I wrote this for a writing contest based on the theme of 'redemption.' I did loosely base this on a character from an original series that as of now is only in my head. Someday I might write that thing down and make a tweaked version of this my prelude.

It gives me a mystified feeling as I read it. It's kinda hard to explain, but this fic gives you a sense of tranquility and serenity. ^____^ Nice work so far Aiya!

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Glad you liked it, though! I'd like to hear what you have to say now that you know this is a one-shot. ^_^