Citrinin
Nephrotoxic.
- 2,778
- Posts
- 14
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- Age 27
- New Zealand
- Seen Aug 2, 2010
I've edited it to comply. XD; Yesh, it's confusing indeed. ~__~;;La Pompa said:
;DLa Pompa said:
[Pokémon] He who is Merely a Rumour
- Thread starter Citrinin
- Start date
Caliban
Trying to change my life, brb~
- 339
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- New Zealand
- Seen Oct 3, 2015
Thank you veraye much, Dolphin-dude.
So, how many chapters ahead have you written?
Also:
1. Does Bevan support domestic violence?
2. Do Augury's Legions of terror comply with The Evil Overlord List?
3. Has Cicero ever made a Pokemorph?
So, how many chapters ahead have you written?
Also:
1. Does Bevan support domestic violence?
2. Do Augury's Legions of terror comply with The Evil Overlord List?
3. Has Cicero ever made a Pokemorph?
Citrinin
Nephrotoxic.
- 2,778
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Age 27
- New Zealand
- Seen Aug 2, 2010
Bevan doesn't care about anything that doesn't affect him.La Pompa said:
I'm sure they follow some of it, and violate some areas. XDLa Pompa said:
A... Pokemorph? What's that?La Pompa said:
Caliban
Trying to change my life, brb~
- 339
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- New Zealand
- Seen Oct 3, 2015
Citrinin
Nephrotoxic.
- 2,778
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Age 27
- New Zealand
- Seen Aug 2, 2010
Of course. It's difficult, though. ;oLa Pompa said:
He probably attempted it, but you won't see any of that in this fic. XDLa Pompa said:
- 1,032
- Posts
- 15
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- Age 31
- Melbourne, Australia
- Seen Jan 8, 2013
I hope you don't think I'm not paying attention to your story or anything, I really can't find much to comment on apart from well done. I'm liking these past few chapters a lot. The story's great, I still stand by my saying that it's the best Pokémon story I've ever read. Nice work.
Swift!
The Swiftiest
- 2,388
- Posts
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- Sydney, Australia
- Seen Sep 16, 2022
Sorry to steal your post, Eliminator. This is the same reason why I haven't been posting here much either. Your writing is too perfect for its own good. >:O Although, I did catch one thing while reading it earlier today. Let me see if I can find it...
Here it is. :D 'Ever' should be 'Every'.
Citrinin
Nephrotoxic.
- 2,778
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- Age 27
- New Zealand
- Seen Aug 2, 2010
Eliminator Jr. said:
^_^; That, in and of itself, is a compliment. XD; I certainly understand if you don't post, but it doesn't always just have to be fixing errors - just general commentary. ^^Kevin said:
*fixes*Kevin said:
Feign
Clain
- 4,293
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- Seen Jan 25, 2023
he sat in the back as a mechanised truck took him to base.
would the base sound better?
Liam's character seems more lively in this chapter. More so almost than is allies (aside from Bevan).
Calmly, Bevan returned Tyranitar and walked out. "Come on," he said.
like calmy walked out?
"Perhaps their side is just as cruel,"
Important quote is important XD
Though I didn't get the feeling that the attacks were large scale, espcecially having sealed off the area (away from the ceremony it seemed).
Romantic session followed afterwards? ;)
Anyway nice chapter, Bevan having his own personal conflicts and such. I'm surprised though that his Pokemon (as individualistic as they initially seemed to be), now all obey him.
Oh Cicero you silly man. XD
would the base sound better?
Liam's character seems more lively in this chapter. More so almost than is allies (aside from Bevan).
Calmly, Bevan returned Tyranitar and walked out. "Come on," he said.
like calmy walked out?
"Perhaps their side is just as cruel,"
Important quote is important XD
Though I didn't get the feeling that the attacks were large scale, espcecially having sealed off the area (away from the ceremony it seemed).
Romantic session followed afterwards? ;)
Anyway nice chapter, Bevan having his own personal conflicts and such. I'm surprised though that his Pokemon (as individualistic as they initially seemed to be), now all obey him.
Oh Cicero you silly man. XD
Nudge
苺
- 329
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Seen Aug 13, 2014
Hey man sorry I didnt post sooner, internet was mucking up.
I love, love, love this chapter.
Liam's personality seems really cool, and draws me in in a way.
The Golden Swirl aye? I really wanna know what Liam was going to say before Dagger walked in!!
And O-M-G! Cicero is a genius, that gas-weapon is like the epitome of epicness, how did you think of that one? The effects of it are awesome, the blood, the killing, THE GORE! hahahah
Don't really know what else to say sooo
Catch ya later :D
I love, love, love this chapter.
Liam's personality seems really cool, and draws me in in a way.
The Golden Swirl aye? I really wanna know what Liam was going to say before Dagger walked in!!
And O-M-G! Cicero is a genius, that gas-weapon is like the epitome of epicness, how did you think of that one? The effects of it are awesome, the blood, the killing, THE GORE! hahahah
Don't really know what else to say sooo
Catch ya later :D
Sgt Shock
Goldsmith
- 385
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Age 32
- Rokkenjima
- Seen May 19, 2014
Your fan art has arrived. I hope that you like it. I like it myself but I'm not sure if you will. :D I might do another one because that one was really fun.
http://sgt-t-shock.deviantart.com/art/Walking-Down-A-Wrong-Path-140948661
http://sgt-t-shock.deviantart.com/art/Walking-Down-A-Wrong-Path-140948661
Citrinin
Nephrotoxic.
- 2,778
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Age 27
- New Zealand
- Seen Aug 2, 2010
Hi everyone. If you'd like to know where I've been... you can read about it here: http://www.pokecommunity.com/blog.php?b=5082
I know I'm usually up to engaging with you guys in detail, but not so much at the moment. :( I will say a few things though. Firstly, thanks for your reviews. :) Secondly, I love the fanart (fan-fanart?) of Bevan, Sgt Shock. :D As for Cicero... he's about to get up to worse. A lot worse.
Obviously this means I'm not really up to writing much more HWIMAR. Luckily, I wrote ahead - all the way up to Chapter 32. :)
---
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Toward Twisted Ends
Liam was sitting on the floor beside Charlotte's bed, ready to tell her the story behind the Golden Twirl.
"As you know, Evan Emerit, before the Lord Augury persona, there was the Lord Augury alias. That was, the pseudonym he used for himself in the underground. Right?"
"Right."
"Augury was an apt choice. It means 'omen'. Augury has always operated through fear: he's never been cruel for the sake of it. He's known that the threat of pain was always enough. Actual pain was needed far less. This is the basis of his strategy, something that your guys have just cottoned on to with the Sectra attack today.
"Anyway, I digress. From the very beginning, Augury's always had a guy in the financial part. You can't move around that much money without a guy on the inside." He said the next name with a tinge of hatred. "Calvin Shore, who was at the time the Chief Treasury Officer was that inside man. You see, Emerit found out something important. Shore had escaped from a cult when he was younger. As you know, people who escape from cults don't do so well. He made up a new identity for himself and everything."
"So, one of our old Oligarchs...?"
Liam nodded. "Former cult member." He then put up a mock smile. "To think what you coulda become, Charlotte!"
"Anyway..." said Charlotte, steering Liam back on topic.
"Yeah. Anyway, Emerit, being head of cults, was perfectly positioned to send Calvin back to his cult, or even have him executed for treason. Conversely, he had the power to bribe him with the complete freedom of some family members. So, he approached Shore as Augury. One free family member a year per year of following orders, and a reasonable salary on the side. Revelation of his secret if he didn't. It was a no-brainer for young Calvin."
"What does this have to do with the Twirl?"
"I'm gettin' there, I'm gettin' there. Anyway, Calvin and HWIMAR had one secret, offshore bank account. It contained about twenty mil, and a safe-deposit box. By far the biggest one. It was the exit strategy for HWIMAR. Round about the time Evan left to Sinnoh, the account was hacked. And this included managing a smuggling operation with the safe deposit box."
"But... who?"
"Three people arranged it. As access cards, they made these." Liam flashed his Golden Twirl card. "'Course, two of 'em passed on. Only one of the original three remains."
"So, with those access cards...?"
"Entitle the holder to four mil and associated interest. The rest, including the safe deposit box can only be accessed with all three."
"You've had all this money? Yet you still stole?"
Liam shrugged. "This isn't the kind of money you live off. It wasn't any ordinary people who arranged this hacking. These were masters of the underworld. The one that still lives was a master cyber-crime dude. One was a major trainer, who gave me mine while he was 'bout to get caught, 'bout eighteen months ago. So, by a process of elimination, Dagger knew the corrupting arms and narcotics dealer. Essentially, the holders of these cards are acknowledged as the elite of the underworld."
"I thought most people didn't know about them?"
"It's not by virtue of holding the cards that you're a leader. It's the other way 'round, Charlotte."
"And... what's in the safe deposit box?"
Liam leaned back, smiling grimly. "I know you've heard of this one."
"Oh?"
"The Vile Vial. It's real, Charlotte."
Charlotte's face contorted with horror.
"Ah, you must be the legendary Liam I'm hearing about?"
It was the next day. Liam turned around from his breakfast to the foreign accent of Manfred von Stauffenberg.
"Ah, Manfred, isn't it?"
"Yes," said Manfred, sitting down next to him. Charlotte, who was about to sit down next to Liam, decided to find another table. She had tried to avoid the man responsible for making the first sixteen years of her life a living hell. She realised that he was necessary for the operations of the Knife, but that didn't mean she liked him any more.
"Can't say I'm a fan of your earlier work," said Liam with his mouth full of cornflakes. "What with the hocus-pocus and making Charlotte's life miserable."
"Your history's no less colourful. An aristocrat of all things," Manfred countered with mock disapproval.
He'd touched a raw nerve, but Liam laughed it off in his characteristically casual fashion. "So, like, I get why you wear a robe in the cult, but it's been what, three years? It's now just cross-dressing, mate."
"How did you manage to become popular with that attitude?"
"Standing up to people like you?"
"...Like me?"
Liam's lip twitched with contempt. "You led a cult. In doing so, you imprisoned and brainwashed a couple of hundred people. You took Charlotte away from her parents. I've heard you like to take the moral high ground. So either everyone else has no ethical instinct to speak of, or you're just a jackass pretending like he's better than everyone else."
Manfred grinned. "Ah, so it's about Charlotte."
"If you could really read people's minds, you'd know that already. Which means you're toying with me. Which means you're being a manipulative bastard."
"So humour me with an answer to this question: do you love her?"
Liam leered at him, and stole a glance at Charlotte. "But you already know the answer."
"Let's just say that I'm curious as to your honesty."
Liam smirked. "There's a reason people told me to stay away from you. I think I'll heed that advice."
He stood up, took a piece of Manfred's toast, and walked over to see Charlotte.
"The Vile Vial?"
Bevan was sitting in Augury's office. Or, more accurately, the office of President Evan Emerit. Earlier that day, the Moonlight Squad had killed a notorious computer hacker and taken his Golden Twirl. Augury had explained the story to Bevan.
"Yes, the Vile Vial. It's an old trainer legend. A true story, in reality."
"What is it?"
"It's a vial with a most potent liquid inside. If you gave it to a Pokémon, it would supposedly become invincible. Dark. Horrific."
"How did you get it?"
"How do you think?"
"Von Stauffenberg?"
"Precisely. It seems to be intrinsically linked with the Event, somehow. Manfred never explained it to me. He didn't really appreciate it being stolen."
"What value is it to you?"
"None, really. It would help to make one of my Pokémon lethally powerful, but the risk associated with it... Manfred was not lying when he told me of its potency. It's more to keep it out of the hands of others. As long as we have just one of the three Twirl cards, we're safe."
"They've stolen from us before. They can get it."
"This will be on my person at all times," said Augury. "I'd like to see them try."
"And Calvin Shore? Why did you insist that he stay alive? You have no use for him anymore."
Augury laughed. "And now we're leading on to quite a new tangent. Very well, I shall tell you."
Cigarette smoke twisted upwards. Liam was leaning against a tree, outside, smoking.
"That's terrible for your health, you know."
Manfred strode out, his robe noisily moving against the scattered twigs on the ground.
Liam shrugged. "It's relaxin', though."
"You need relaxing?" Manfred was curious.
"You don't?"
"No," said Manfred casually. "But I'm surprised you do."
"This world's ugly. You experience the brunt of it as a trainer. And, well... become a part of it. Look what I've got myself sucked into. The odd ciggy now and then helps."
"What about love? Surely that would help? Something good amongst the ugly?"
Liam scoffed. "I've been payin' for it since fifteen. Except..."
"Except...?"
"You've already looked into my head, haven't you?"
Manfred laughed. "So suspicious. I know I look it, but I'm not exactly a gossip," he winked. "If you don't want to tell me, I won't look."
"So why ask?"
Manfred shrugged. "I like to help people with their problems. Perhaps a little too much..." He trailed off, muttering to himself. A few seconds later, he realised what he was doing, and added, "'Cause I'm swell like that."
"You know how long it's been since someone's said swell?"
"A few seconds, by my watch," winked Manfred.
They stood in silence. "Who did you hurt?" Liam's curiosity had been piqued.
"Huh?"
"You trailed off earlier. Who'd ya hurt?"
Manfred sighed. "I share, you share."
"It's a deal, old man." Despite their rocky start earlier today, Liam was beginning to like Manfred. Despite the fact that he'd always given off a rebellious image, he'd always respected people with wisdom. He was beginning to sense this in Manfred. And this troubled him a bit, because he knew how cruelly Manfred had lead his cult. How he had hurt Charlotte.
"Bevan Emerit."
Liam spat.
"You've heard of him," said Manfred.
"Thanks for the info, Captain Obvious," Liam said abrasively. "He's been terrorisin' the underground for the last two years. I used to know him as a kid. I quite liked him then, but he's become a right bastard now. What do you have to do with him?"
"He was a Knife member three years ago. I sensed an emotional dull in him. I tried to help him, but I ended up driving it. I took an innocent phase and made it horrific. His cold-hearted bastardry is partially my fault. If I hadn't driven him to that... he would have never been able to forgive Augury for killing his mother-"
"His mother committed suicide," said Liam, crushing his cigarette and lighting up a new one.
"That was staged," said Manfred coldly.
Liam swore sympathetically. "Bevan joined the person who killed his mum? What a f-"
"No," interrupted Manfred. "He's a victim. One might look upon his nature as cruel, and it is, perhaps. But he simply couldn't handle his own emotions and so tried to expunge them. He would have failed, but I lacked the foresight to stop myself from intervening. And here we are. Now, what's your story? The one exception."
"Well, you know from breakfast."
"Charlotte?"
"Yep."
"How?"
"We traveled together. Up until a week before she got caught. I fell in love with her, Manfred. It's not just infatuation. I've felt that before. This was different."
"And Charlotte?"
"No idea," shrugged Liam. "Truth be told, I haven't had the guts."
"Fear of rejection is..."
"Irrational, I know," waved Liam dismissively, the last few ashes of his second cigarette falling to the ground. "And yet here we are."
"You've fought off Cloaks, and yet..."
"Fighting off Cloaks is thrilling. And you know you'll succeed. But getting rejected... I tried to avoid coming here because it tears me up a little inside that I don't have the stomach to tell her how I feel."
"it's another thing entirely," said Manfred grimly. "Tell her anyway."
Liam laughed, pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, and scribbled something on it. "Payment for not telling this to Charlotte." Then, he left.
Manfred looked down at the piece of paper and laughed. It read, "IOU 1 piece of toast".
I know I'm usually up to engaging with you guys in detail, but not so much at the moment. :( I will say a few things though. Firstly, thanks for your reviews. :) Secondly, I love the fanart (fan-fanart?) of Bevan, Sgt Shock. :D As for Cicero... he's about to get up to worse. A lot worse.
Obviously this means I'm not really up to writing much more HWIMAR. Luckily, I wrote ahead - all the way up to Chapter 32. :)
---
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Toward Twisted Ends
Liam was sitting on the floor beside Charlotte's bed, ready to tell her the story behind the Golden Twirl.
"As you know, Evan Emerit, before the Lord Augury persona, there was the Lord Augury alias. That was, the pseudonym he used for himself in the underground. Right?"
"Right."
"Augury was an apt choice. It means 'omen'. Augury has always operated through fear: he's never been cruel for the sake of it. He's known that the threat of pain was always enough. Actual pain was needed far less. This is the basis of his strategy, something that your guys have just cottoned on to with the Sectra attack today.
"Anyway, I digress. From the very beginning, Augury's always had a guy in the financial part. You can't move around that much money without a guy on the inside." He said the next name with a tinge of hatred. "Calvin Shore, who was at the time the Chief Treasury Officer was that inside man. You see, Emerit found out something important. Shore had escaped from a cult when he was younger. As you know, people who escape from cults don't do so well. He made up a new identity for himself and everything."
"So, one of our old Oligarchs...?"
Liam nodded. "Former cult member." He then put up a mock smile. "To think what you coulda become, Charlotte!"
"Anyway..." said Charlotte, steering Liam back on topic.
"Yeah. Anyway, Emerit, being head of cults, was perfectly positioned to send Calvin back to his cult, or even have him executed for treason. Conversely, he had the power to bribe him with the complete freedom of some family members. So, he approached Shore as Augury. One free family member a year per year of following orders, and a reasonable salary on the side. Revelation of his secret if he didn't. It was a no-brainer for young Calvin."
"What does this have to do with the Twirl?"
"I'm gettin' there, I'm gettin' there. Anyway, Calvin and HWIMAR had one secret, offshore bank account. It contained about twenty mil, and a safe-deposit box. By far the biggest one. It was the exit strategy for HWIMAR. Round about the time Evan left to Sinnoh, the account was hacked. And this included managing a smuggling operation with the safe deposit box."
"But... who?"
"Three people arranged it. As access cards, they made these." Liam flashed his Golden Twirl card. "'Course, two of 'em passed on. Only one of the original three remains."
"So, with those access cards...?"
"Entitle the holder to four mil and associated interest. The rest, including the safe deposit box can only be accessed with all three."
"You've had all this money? Yet you still stole?"
Liam shrugged. "This isn't the kind of money you live off. It wasn't any ordinary people who arranged this hacking. These were masters of the underworld. The one that still lives was a master cyber-crime dude. One was a major trainer, who gave me mine while he was 'bout to get caught, 'bout eighteen months ago. So, by a process of elimination, Dagger knew the corrupting arms and narcotics dealer. Essentially, the holders of these cards are acknowledged as the elite of the underworld."
"I thought most people didn't know about them?"
"It's not by virtue of holding the cards that you're a leader. It's the other way 'round, Charlotte."
"And... what's in the safe deposit box?"
Liam leaned back, smiling grimly. "I know you've heard of this one."
"Oh?"
"The Vile Vial. It's real, Charlotte."
Charlotte's face contorted with horror.
*
"Ah, you must be the legendary Liam I'm hearing about?"
It was the next day. Liam turned around from his breakfast to the foreign accent of Manfred von Stauffenberg.
"Ah, Manfred, isn't it?"
"Yes," said Manfred, sitting down next to him. Charlotte, who was about to sit down next to Liam, decided to find another table. She had tried to avoid the man responsible for making the first sixteen years of her life a living hell. She realised that he was necessary for the operations of the Knife, but that didn't mean she liked him any more.
"Can't say I'm a fan of your earlier work," said Liam with his mouth full of cornflakes. "What with the hocus-pocus and making Charlotte's life miserable."
"Your history's no less colourful. An aristocrat of all things," Manfred countered with mock disapproval.
He'd touched a raw nerve, but Liam laughed it off in his characteristically casual fashion. "So, like, I get why you wear a robe in the cult, but it's been what, three years? It's now just cross-dressing, mate."
"How did you manage to become popular with that attitude?"
"Standing up to people like you?"
"...Like me?"
Liam's lip twitched with contempt. "You led a cult. In doing so, you imprisoned and brainwashed a couple of hundred people. You took Charlotte away from her parents. I've heard you like to take the moral high ground. So either everyone else has no ethical instinct to speak of, or you're just a jackass pretending like he's better than everyone else."
Manfred grinned. "Ah, so it's about Charlotte."
"If you could really read people's minds, you'd know that already. Which means you're toying with me. Which means you're being a manipulative bastard."
"So humour me with an answer to this question: do you love her?"
Liam leered at him, and stole a glance at Charlotte. "But you already know the answer."
"Let's just say that I'm curious as to your honesty."
Liam smirked. "There's a reason people told me to stay away from you. I think I'll heed that advice."
He stood up, took a piece of Manfred's toast, and walked over to see Charlotte.
*
"The Vile Vial?"
Bevan was sitting in Augury's office. Or, more accurately, the office of President Evan Emerit. Earlier that day, the Moonlight Squad had killed a notorious computer hacker and taken his Golden Twirl. Augury had explained the story to Bevan.
"Yes, the Vile Vial. It's an old trainer legend. A true story, in reality."
"What is it?"
"It's a vial with a most potent liquid inside. If you gave it to a Pokémon, it would supposedly become invincible. Dark. Horrific."
"How did you get it?"
"How do you think?"
"Von Stauffenberg?"
"Precisely. It seems to be intrinsically linked with the Event, somehow. Manfred never explained it to me. He didn't really appreciate it being stolen."
"What value is it to you?"
"None, really. It would help to make one of my Pokémon lethally powerful, but the risk associated with it... Manfred was not lying when he told me of its potency. It's more to keep it out of the hands of others. As long as we have just one of the three Twirl cards, we're safe."
"They've stolen from us before. They can get it."
"This will be on my person at all times," said Augury. "I'd like to see them try."
"And Calvin Shore? Why did you insist that he stay alive? You have no use for him anymore."
Augury laughed. "And now we're leading on to quite a new tangent. Very well, I shall tell you."
*
Cigarette smoke twisted upwards. Liam was leaning against a tree, outside, smoking.
"That's terrible for your health, you know."
Manfred strode out, his robe noisily moving against the scattered twigs on the ground.
Liam shrugged. "It's relaxin', though."
"You need relaxing?" Manfred was curious.
"You don't?"
"No," said Manfred casually. "But I'm surprised you do."
"This world's ugly. You experience the brunt of it as a trainer. And, well... become a part of it. Look what I've got myself sucked into. The odd ciggy now and then helps."
"What about love? Surely that would help? Something good amongst the ugly?"
Liam scoffed. "I've been payin' for it since fifteen. Except..."
"Except...?"
"You've already looked into my head, haven't you?"
Manfred laughed. "So suspicious. I know I look it, but I'm not exactly a gossip," he winked. "If you don't want to tell me, I won't look."
"So why ask?"
Manfred shrugged. "I like to help people with their problems. Perhaps a little too much..." He trailed off, muttering to himself. A few seconds later, he realised what he was doing, and added, "'Cause I'm swell like that."
"You know how long it's been since someone's said swell?"
"A few seconds, by my watch," winked Manfred.
They stood in silence. "Who did you hurt?" Liam's curiosity had been piqued.
"Huh?"
"You trailed off earlier. Who'd ya hurt?"
Manfred sighed. "I share, you share."
"It's a deal, old man." Despite their rocky start earlier today, Liam was beginning to like Manfred. Despite the fact that he'd always given off a rebellious image, he'd always respected people with wisdom. He was beginning to sense this in Manfred. And this troubled him a bit, because he knew how cruelly Manfred had lead his cult. How he had hurt Charlotte.
"Bevan Emerit."
Liam spat.
"You've heard of him," said Manfred.
"Thanks for the info, Captain Obvious," Liam said abrasively. "He's been terrorisin' the underground for the last two years. I used to know him as a kid. I quite liked him then, but he's become a right bastard now. What do you have to do with him?"
"He was a Knife member three years ago. I sensed an emotional dull in him. I tried to help him, but I ended up driving it. I took an innocent phase and made it horrific. His cold-hearted bastardry is partially my fault. If I hadn't driven him to that... he would have never been able to forgive Augury for killing his mother-"
"His mother committed suicide," said Liam, crushing his cigarette and lighting up a new one.
"That was staged," said Manfred coldly.
Liam swore sympathetically. "Bevan joined the person who killed his mum? What a f-"
"No," interrupted Manfred. "He's a victim. One might look upon his nature as cruel, and it is, perhaps. But he simply couldn't handle his own emotions and so tried to expunge them. He would have failed, but I lacked the foresight to stop myself from intervening. And here we are. Now, what's your story? The one exception."
"Well, you know from breakfast."
"Charlotte?"
"Yep."
"How?"
"We traveled together. Up until a week before she got caught. I fell in love with her, Manfred. It's not just infatuation. I've felt that before. This was different."
"And Charlotte?"
"No idea," shrugged Liam. "Truth be told, I haven't had the guts."
"Fear of rejection is..."
"Irrational, I know," waved Liam dismissively, the last few ashes of his second cigarette falling to the ground. "And yet here we are."
"You've fought off Cloaks, and yet..."
"Fighting off Cloaks is thrilling. And you know you'll succeed. But getting rejected... I tried to avoid coming here because it tears me up a little inside that I don't have the stomach to tell her how I feel."
"it's another thing entirely," said Manfred grimly. "Tell her anyway."
Liam laughed, pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, and scribbled something on it. "Payment for not telling this to Charlotte." Then, he left.
Manfred looked down at the piece of paper and laughed. It read, "IOU 1 piece of toast".
Sgt Shock
Goldsmith
- 385
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Age 32
- Rokkenjima
- Seen May 19, 2014
That was a fantastic chapter in terms of character development of Manfred and Liam. I'm alternated between my favorite between Cicero and Manfred. You just make it so hard to like both of them.
I kind of like the way that Manfred basically toyed with Liam to admit that he loved Charlotte. The fact that he knew made it priceless forcing Liam to speak verbally.
Now about the main issue at hand; actually two rather. The Golden Swirl was very interesting concept, one that I wouldn't have thought of honestly. I didn't think it could be in the financial realm of things. Clever. About the Vile Vial. It seems like it can be pretty dangerous in the terms of a gamble. Something that I find interesting. Could it be something in the future that has things stirring.
By the way, "IOU a piece of toast" = lol moment.
Great chapter, Citrinin. XD
I kind of like the way that Manfred basically toyed with Liam to admit that he loved Charlotte. The fact that he knew made it priceless forcing Liam to speak verbally.
Now about the main issue at hand; actually two rather. The Golden Swirl was very interesting concept, one that I wouldn't have thought of honestly. I didn't think it could be in the financial realm of things. Clever. About the Vile Vial. It seems like it can be pretty dangerous in the terms of a gamble. Something that I find interesting. Could it be something in the future that has things stirring.
By the way, "IOU a piece of toast" = lol moment.
Great chapter, Citrinin. XD
Legendarian Mistress
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Hey Cit, how's it going? I've read up to the first Bridge (though I call them Extras) and part 1 of HWIMAR is just so bloody fantastic. You've obviously thought your fic out quite well, I like it. Will Bevan get a full team of 6 Pokémon? Oh, this one's more important, though – Is Evan Cyrus in disguise? If he's not, however, please do tell what happened to the TG leader... All you really said was that Giratina threw him off Spear Pillar; there was nothing to indicate that he'd fallen unconscious, or died, or whatever.
Keep getting well, my friend, keep getting well.
Edit # 1:
Here's my review for part 2, including the second bridge/extra.
*exhales deeply, while struggling to stay awake*
I'd been awake since 1 AM yesterday, before you ask. After I've finished this review, I'm gonna hit the sack.
Part 2 was full of action. I loved the part where Iserno fought off Rex. By any chance, is Iserno the evolved form of Issely?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Are you serious, Cit? You made Bevan evil?! How could you?!
Edit # 2:
*mouth hangs open*
Uhh, you must like violence, Cit. Why? What was the point of having Bevan order Tyranitar kill the innocent man?
More to the point, I want you to make Bevan GOOD again. Perhaps he could see the ghost of his mother who encourages him to believe in the Light of the world...
Also, it is now 8:40 PM Wednesday night, and I am going to BED. (Certain comments, like the 8:40 PM one, will be rendered neutralized when I post this today, so don't worry).
Keep getting well, my friend, keep getting well.
Edit # 1:
Here's my review for part 2, including the second bridge/extra.
*exhales deeply, while struggling to stay awake*
I'd been awake since 1 AM yesterday, before you ask. After I've finished this review, I'm gonna hit the sack.
Part 2 was full of action. I loved the part where Iserno fought off Rex. By any chance, is Iserno the evolved form of Issely?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Are you serious, Cit? You made Bevan evil?! How could you?!
Edit # 2:
*mouth hangs open*
Uhh, you must like violence, Cit. Why? What was the point of having Bevan order Tyranitar kill the innocent man?
More to the point, I want you to make Bevan GOOD again. Perhaps he could see the ghost of his mother who encourages him to believe in the Light of the world...
Also, it is now 8:40 PM Wednesday night, and I am going to BED. (Certain comments, like the 8:40 PM one, will be rendered neutralized when I post this today, so don't worry).
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Should be "one secret, an offshore bank account".
That's all I could find. Great chapter, I'm liking Manfred a lot. Also, I hope you haven't forgotten any ideas you had for the story since the accident XD Get well soon.
Citrinin
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I took a few days off for rest, and I'm really glad I did. :) I feel so much better, and I'm ready to provide the responses that you guys deserve. ;D
But I think to see Bevan purely as evil would be overly simplistic. There is a great pain beneath that mercenary exterior.
Thanks. ^^Sgt Shock said:
Heh, this happens to me on some TV shows or books; I can't figure out who I like more. XD; They both have some darkness, but they are both relatively likeable as well.Sgt Shock said:
Manfred's incredibly manipulative, but he wouldn't call it that, and he certainly doesn't see it as a negative trait. ;PSgt Shock said:
It all comes down to money, before the advent of psychic powers. XD;Sgt Shock said:
The foundations for Part III are being laid... ;DSgt Shock said:
Who's referring to that? o.o;Feign said:
Indeed he does. XDFeign said:
Thanks. ^__^Kyuu-chan said:
You'll see. ;PKyuu-chan said:
No. :PKyuu-chan said:
You might find that out, but ultimately, it's not important to the story. Luckily, I plan to answer openly and honestly any questions you'll have after the epilogue, so if it hasn't been revealed by the end, you can find out afterwards. But it really doesn't have any bearing on future plot.Kyuu-chan said:
Thank you. ^^Kyuu-chan said:
Yep. ^_^Kyuu-chan said:
Kyuu-chan said:
Alright, I suppose I can explain this. I will preface this by noting that by the end, circumstances surrounding Bevan will be... different. I never initially planned for Bevan to be evil, but it evolved. The only way I could pull him into a mode capable of fighting in battle was to have him get over his status. Now, to do that perfectly, I thought, would be too unrealistic. So I had him try to sacrifice emotion. This was an opportunity too good to pass up: Manfred, a man tied to the Event, Cyrus, and Giratina, sees a youth with enormous potential try to give up emotion. Foolishly, he goes in to stop him, but Bevan's still-rebellious nature leads him to push back. It sort of fell into place.Kyuu-chan said:
But I think to see Bevan purely as evil would be overly simplistic. There is a great pain beneath that mercenary exterior.
Oh no; I didn't mean it as one secret, and that is an offshore bank account, but a bank account that is both secret and offshore". :xEliminator Jr. said:
Luckily I still remember the direction of the story. XD; And, I have several chapters ahead of the current one already written, sitting in a file on my computer. XD;Eliminator Jr. said:
Nudge
苺
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Well, Citrinin, I had no idea a new chapter was up *looks outraged* :P
Can't reeally be bothered reviewing it because i'm tired azz from being sick all week, but I liked it, i liked the way Liam and Manfred's characters evolved towards each other and whatnot.
That's about all I'm gonna say so yeah, Good Chapter.
Can't reeally be bothered reviewing it because i'm tired azz from being sick all week, but I liked it, i liked the way Liam and Manfred's characters evolved towards each other and whatnot.
That's about all I'm gonna say so yeah, Good Chapter.
Feign
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"Thanks for the info, Captain Obvious," Liam said abrasively. "He's been terrorisin' the underground for the last two years.
Liam in that case XD Okay well he doesn't directly say it, but I wouldn't put it past Bevan for doing as such. XD
I'm having a bit of difficulty imagining Liam's accent though, I mean, it might be just as easy to say they're all NZ ones, but on several occasions you've had the n' stuff. For some reason I think of him having a bit of an American southerner accent, but at times, he speaks quite eloquently to a bit educated.
Citrinin
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If I recall correctly, I described his speaking style in his debut chapter as intermittently eloquent and slang-ridden (or something to that effect). XD; Nonetheless, I always imagine him having a rather light American Southerner accent for no particular reason other than to go against his aristocratic upbringing. (The only other person whose accent I imagine is Manfred's - obviously German. Everyone else, it's just easier to think of as NZer. XD;)