We've made it to Victory Road at last. However, since we're here...
I should take the time to mention that these levels are not the result of hours of grinding but instead bolstered by Rare Candy abuse and I am not ashamed to admit so. (the training is the in-universe explanation, cause stuffing the Crew with Rare Candies would be nasty).
See, the Elite Four in Snakewood are so
nightmarishly, inhumanly powerful that I had to do this to even get a fighting chance. I'm talking mid/late-sixties while you're barely scratching level 50. Since the game isn't going to play fair, I might as well not either.
Despite that though, this should be the only cheat to proceed with the main story. The fact I even had to do this, though, is proof enough that the game is falling apart at this point.
Yeah, don't even bother. The only person getting there today is Jack and the Crew, and even then they're just barely suited to the task. One Zangol won't be able to save you, lady.
Jeanne helps Valor out by letting him get the kill on Zangol here... and as such will allow him to become one himself.
Oh yeah, at level 55 Zangoose can learn Shadow Swipe. It was originally False Swipe, but made much more lethal... and spooky, considering it's a
type move.
:
("Awww yeah. I even got a sword out of nowhere! This is hella rad!")
Zangoose needs an actual evolution like this. Sure, normal Zangoose is fine enough with his godlike Toxic Boost Facade, but imagine the possibilities.
Thankfully, the boulders are moved out of the way since you wouldn't have Strength at this point. I bet these kinds of maps are the kind Cutlerine liked the most - seeing as they take the least amount of effort to edit.
Oh, and because there's a bunch of rocks in the way, Umbra trades out Slash for Rock Smash. Trust me, this becomes a lynchpin far later into the episode.
Full Restores can just be bought. This isn't that special - if you put a Caramac (PP boost) or something else here, that'd be a better reward.
Also, there was this dude. His gimmick is that he doesn't speak and just resorts to ellipses.
Valor, in his new form, dispatches Edward Nygma Jr.'s Pokemon here in short order. Each one didn't even take a second to beat.
In other words, he's a gangsta'.
"I found this in the chest of a young woman from Fortree... I fear she no longer needs it."
What?
Oh jesus, that's gruesome.
So this means that all the Broken Hearts we have are actual bleeding organs taken from dead people. That's pretty ****ed, Cutlerine.
Also,
8 out of 50.
???????
what's all this about
F-
fish girl?!
I can't even explain this one in a way that would be plausible, considering that this has nothing to do with zombies or demons or anything we've seen so far. Hell, even Trolls are more likely than Fishgirl here.
Her only Pokemon is this Swampert that pretty much exists to ruin my day.
It took a tag-team by Valor and Jeanne to finally take the Swampert down. In hindsight, bringing a good Grass type would have solved this problem instantly but I don't really have the time for that.
Future Dan: *laughs derisively at past self for not getting Beatrice*
You can get some
phat lewt over here.
But now you are a
spook.
So let's just beat her up!
This is probably how everybody feels when Snakewood got to this point.
What could be here? It's one way only, so it's probably good.
Why do you put these in the game, Cutlerine? Like honest question. What's with the one-way horse****?!
Sigh. Thanks to the miraculous power of
~savestates~, I'm back in Victory Road to claim this Elixir.
Generic fire person retort. Yawn.
To think, without Ballin, this would have been a nightmare of a fight. When he
is here though?
TSUNAMI!
Snake Oil is nice, but seriously. Why not give us items that we couldn't buy, at least?
I would transcribe the rest of this dialogue, but him yelling out "NINJA!" is hilarious enough for me.
Poor Weavile. You're such a cool Pokemon, yet we never grab one in this hack.
Oh, and Sableye. They're cool too, but this isn't Gen VI so I can't get their Mega forms. Awww.
Nah. Even if the team wasn't boosted up to level 57+, that wouldn't have been hard in the slightest.
... * snickering *
Good
luck, man.
Zangol is
/
and can learn Brick Break. It may as well be called Bone Break when it comes to these Persians because
****ing ow!
Crawdaunt is one of those Pokemon that I always forget existed. And not really for good reason, either. I like its design.
It's just Psychic. The only person that can learn this is Bellamine... who has already learned it naturally. Less space in the TM section, I suppose.
If someone would like to point out the reference with this, that'd be dandy.
He had a Starmie that survived two of Valor's Shadow Swipes, but aside from that display of fortitude, nothing special.
You know, when I started this adventure, I didn't expect to find a guy with a Jamaican accent to fit my Rastafarian Parasect.
But what's this?
Temulence is back to settle the score!
"You! Yes, you, child! I won't let you get away with what you did at the Department Store! I'm going to kill you!"
:
"Bring it. I'l beat you again."
Jack just embraces that he's a boss. I love it.
:
"I hate your arrogance!"
^ Coming from one of the assholes that always claim to be able to defeat Jack easily, this line is
priceless.
[Just replay Super Cool No. 1 again.]
Functionally speaking, Temulence is no different than before aside from having higher levels. Regardless, the higher level boost might bite you in the ass if you didn't grind a bit.
It has to be
absolutely embarrassing for a giant sea serpent to get completely destroyed by an electric rodent that's about a fourth of his size.
[Bellamine dusts off her dress]
:
("Are you finished?")
Graceful as ever. Even if she wasn't powered up, this would still end the same way.
Who would have thought that a little nerdy pufferfish (yes, that's how I've pictured him this entire venture) would have grown up into a Pokemon that would make even Gyarados cry?
:
("Entei, you'll regret ever serving this guy! I'll drown you out!")
I'm so proud.
"You haven't heard the last of me!"
We actually
do see him later. I originally thought we didn't.
For now, though... We have a greater challenge ahead of us.
Pictured above: Great challenge.
Seriously though, this guy sells you stuff. I need to look into what these do (the Miner TM says it has to be "unlocked" first), but for now I'm not going to buy what he has.
"It used to be that beyond this point, only the Trainers with all eight Gym Badges could pass... But really, everybody who makes it here is so strong now because of all the zombies... Look, you've got six of eight badges, and something that proclaims you to be a certified Knight. I'm thinking that's good enough, yeah?"
This is probably the most sensible thing that's happened in the past few updates.
"Reach for the sky, defeat the Elite Four and all that stuff! Go forth and conquer!"
Excellent.
: "Oh man, this is pretty... intense."
[Heart pounds against chest]
This is our first challenge. Some green-haired chick that replaces Sidney.
"I'm Caitlin, and I'm going to be beating you up!"
Fun fact, in the original text, she said "I'm going to be beating up up!". I found it kind of funny.
[Theme I would use for all Elite Four minus the last one: Megalomania]
Alright, here comes the gauntlet of torture. Caitlin looks pretty good even if her ponytail looks like a stalk of seaweed. She's a
-based Trainer, despite looking like
with the swimsuit. (Then again, Phoebe was
and she was dressed up as a hula girl, so...)
Standard procedure for the first two fights...
Until this asshole comes along and nearly kills Bellamine in one swipe! Kenchukuo are my most hated Pokemon in this part of the game, mostly due to the fact that they're so blistering and they tend to outspeed you. The fact it looks like a demonic Gardevoir doesn't help it any.
This one may have gone down in one hit thanks to Bella's wonderful 190+ Special Attack stat, but I assure you: There
are more of these things.
Oh, and a completely unthreatening Machamp was here.
Since I don't want Bellamine to hog all the glory for the
-type Elite Four, Jeanne gets the final hit.
I
still don't jive that Jack is supposed to be 16 in this game. He should be like... 20 or something at least.
At the very least, Caitlin is graceful towards her loss. If she were a real Elite Four, she'd probably be cool.
This is not Sidney even though they look pretty similar.
"In Sweden, we have a very good understanding of what makes a good fight scene, especially for cops. These Flying Pokemon are good at that too!"
A Swedish action movie cop that works as one of the new Hoenn Elite Four as the
guy. Next you'll probably tell me he writes his own one-liners.
Benny's first Pokemon is this Tropius that tries to put you to sleep. Ambes had none of that and went straight into decking her in the face.
Oh, god damn it. Level 60 already...
See, the three level difference from the last one is enough to make this guy (girl?) into a nightmare as Kenchukuo's game is speed. This one knows Earthquake, so Kenchukuo would just murder Jeanne before she can do anything.
Thankfully, Bellamine can stand up to an Earthquake and -- wait a god damn second. Look at Kenchukuo's health.
She survived with literally 1% health left?!
You've got to be ****ting me.
Thankfully, the A.I is dumb in that it likes to spam Full Restores when their mon's health is in the red. It's a sigh of relief because it gives me a free attack.
Ambes shoots down a Swellow who is nowhere near as cool as Ace. Fun part, he didn't even try to. He just sneezed and she was gone.
There was an Altaria before this (the screenshot got overwritten because I wasn't paying attention to the keyboard) that unfortunately got Ambes because I didn't have the Bright Idea to use a healing item on him, hence why Bella is landing the final blow on this sucker.
Unfortunately not. You'd be a great actor at the Film University, though.
"You are very good, to beat a trained Swedish Policeman. I think you can go far!"
I find it hilarious that when the game is easy, it's pissing me off with annoying characters and dumb story. When the game is hard, the characters are more likable and the plot is less silly. How does that make sense?
You okay there, buddy?
:
("Sorta, yeah. I'll just... rest a bit before we have to fight again.")
If you hadn't guessed yet, Glacia is the only surviving member of the old Elite Four. Which means that poor Phoebe was eaten. My heart
heaves.
(oh and sidney and drake, that sucks too)
"I am Glacia. I came here from far away, but ended up staying. I was too strong for the zombies to get. Let's see if you're any good."
This brings up a giant question. Why is Glacia the only one to survive? I mean, the other three weren't half bad as trainers. They're called the
Elite Four for a reason.
I like the redesign she got in ORAS, though. It fit her "ice queen" theme a lot more than her "I'm from the Alps" clothing in Gen 3.
Glalie wasn't that special aside from taking two Flamethrowers to the face before she finally gave up. Then again, Jeanne was going easy.
Walrein gets punched to submission by Valor, and probably got German Suplexed in the process.
Oh, that wacky Weavile.
:
("Oh my god, I think I see what everybody else is talking about!")
Damn it, he caught on.
You know, despite Articuno being a graceful blue bird that represents Ice...
Ambes is still gonna roast her like a chicken.
"Your spirit burns with fiery passion. How can ice stand against such flame?"
All in all, aside from Weavile, Glacia is actually the most normal (and the easiest) of the Snakewood Elite Four. Then again, she's the only person who's an actual character from the games.
Indigo? He must be a big hot shot, then.
Well, uh... he doesn't need legs to fight, it seems.
"I am Indigo, the Thunder King. With the power of the sky, I'll strike you down!"
Oh? Well, come on then!
[Theme I would use for Indigo: Into the Dark Night]
Yes, he's cool enough to have his own theme. He's probably the coolest human sprite edit in the game yet, and he takes full advantage of that title with all of his
Pokemon.
Also, what is he? Is he some kind of Mortal Kombat Raiden-esque thunder god?
His first Pokemon was a Luxray that nearly killed Jeanne in one hit with Earthquake, but Confuse and Burn managed to take them down easily enough.
[Valor used Slash!]
:
("Eh. He should be alright... Can't say the same for myself, though... oof.")
rude... crude dudes alert
That's... that's really a level 67 Zapdos.
You're killing me here, Cutlerine.
:
("In my eyes, even the mightiest among you looks no stronger than an infant. You still mean to charge at me and Indigo head on?")
:
("I... I have to! We have to prove our strength by defeating you! We need to build our strength up to defeat the Dark Lord!")
:
("Very well then. I praise your bravery even if it might cost you your life, young warrior.")
Thanks to Ambes's typing, Zapdos can't just murder him instantly... but this still took me a while to finish. He's a really hardy bastard, not helped at all by the Full Restores that Indigo keeps using.
Still though, in the context of what's happening, Ambes (A regular Raichu that we originally picked up as a level 6 Pikachu back in Petalburg Woods) is fighting the legendary bird of
and
is standing his ground despite being ten levels lower than him.
That, my friends, takes some massive cojones.
(If this were Gen 6 and Ambes had Lightning Rod though, this would be hilariously one-sided for Zapdos.)
[Ambes used Ice Punch!]
:
("... Urgh! Well done, young warrior. You just may have what it takes... to save this world.")
:
("We've made it this far for a reason.")
(I know this is dramatic and all, but aren't these guys as strong as Jack and the Crew? If not more so? Why do we have to do it ourselves?
Whatever.)
Ampharos here is pretty annoying. He likes to paralyze you and wail on you with Thunder Punch. Unfortunately, Umbra doesn't survive his assault.
Oh, and he likes to be a tool and keep 1 HP thanks to his Chaos of Oden (Focus Band). This happened twice, despite the fact that the Focus Band is only able to protect you 10% of the time. Just my rotten luck, I suppose.
Bellamine manages to put him down, thankfully. I don't know how much my temper would have held out if the Chaos of Oden/Focus Band managed to save him three times.
Oh hey, another Gen 5 Pokemon. Not that it matters though, cause Zebstrika is pretty easy.
Don't let the red health fool you, Valor managed to take 'em down without much hassle.
The Martial Art of Not Dying? Thanks, I practice it a lot.
"Now go on to the next room."
Indigo is playing too cool for school.
Just a reminder, guys. This is a team that was bolstered from mid 40s to high 50s through a Rare Candy cheat... and we
still got our asses whupped five ways to Sunday.
Like hot ****ing damn. (Seriously, go look at the team-setup of the last episode to see how much they increased)
Yes, you really are supposed to grind over twenty levels (if not more) just to make the Elite Four
comfortable. The level increase is so steep and punishing that I've seen a ton of people give up before they even reach the Champion! It's
that bad.
It's as if Cutlerine really didn't want people to finish (or enjoy) Snakewood the more he worked on it.
Thanks to Jack's endless source of Full Restores and a Revive, the team is back in ass-kicking order. Let's finish this.
: "This is it... the Champion. Can't turn back now."
[Current audio in-game: Pre-Champion theme]
I love this pre-Champion theme. It emphasizes that you're at the end of your journey and you're about to face the biggest fight of your life. It's only second to Cynthia's pre-battle theme, though.
"Hum, hum, hum... Oh, you want to fight me? That can be arranged. Shall we, then?"
Short and sweet, just how I like it.
[Theme I would use for this fight: My Dear Comrade]
Oh, what the f-- it's literally Tower Tycoon Palmer with a different name and title! His sprite isn't even edited! How shameless can you get, Cutlerine? (don't answer that)
Despite the...
originality, he's actually one of the hardest fights in the game.
Hitmontop can't do anything to Bellamine, so I took this time to charge up with a Calm Mind.
It was worth it. I wish I could have gotten a Hitmontop for myself in Gen VI just to clear out the National Dex.
God damn, this thing is nearly level 70! How are you supposed to do this again?
Despite the intimidation factor, all Bouffalant does is use Swords Dance and leave himself wide open for Valor's Brick Break.
Ramshaker is one of the most annoying Pokemon in the entire hack and this fight shows it at its worst. Ramshaker has Bright Idea, so the thing will erase you from existence if you give it a chance.
Yes, you are reading that correctly. I used an Elixir to restore Jeanne's Flamethrower. This fight got so bad that I had to resort to using the "too good to use club" items.
Once again, Valor steps in to save the day. That's my boy.
oh sweet jesus why, why, why
A level 73 Kingmadio?! It was bad enough with the one that was just level 1! Why must we live in a world where this thing exists?
See, here's the thing. This Kingmadio can do either two things: Splash or Toxic. Jeanne thankfully has two options to kill it (Confuse Ray and Burn), so she won't be running out of moves any time soon. (Toxic is also a move that Kingmadio cannot learn without cheating so way to go, Cutlerine)
There's just one problem, though. Mr. Super-Original likes to spam Full Restores on Kingmadio whenever he gets into the red, completely undoing whatever damage you did and possibly screwing you over. You could claim the first Kingmadio was just an eccentric mistake, but this is a full-fledged one-fingered salute to the player and whatever fun that could be mined out of this.
By some divine blessing, Jeanne managed to exorcise Kingmadio without the Champion healing it up. That should be the last Kingmadio we ever have to fight, so I'm infinitely thankful.
... What the hell is that.
Believe it or not, that's what Cinderco (you know, the little grenade bird) evolves into if you give it a Leaf Stone. It's a
/
orange monster with Voltorb's eyes that's just... wow, I don't think the stupidity behind this thing can be summarized better than with a little song.
Everybody sing it with me now:
♪~WHAT IS THIS HORSE****, WHY IS IT A THING~♪
aaaaAAAAH IT HAS A SIGNATURE MOVE!
... Oh. Well, that's not so bad. It lowers your Attack if you get hit by it though, which makes Valor less feasible for this fight.
Ballin eats the freakin' thing after dipping it in water. Can we move on, please?
Oh, would you look at that?
Another Roclobster! And since he has legendary stats, he can easily rip apart the entire team!
Umbra used Rock Smash to lower Roclobster's defense offscreen. He was beaten into submission as a result, so Valor's here to take the revenge blow.
[Valor used Brick Break!]
This is how I feel about Snakewood in general, actually. But hey, we beat the Elite Four and the Champion!
I know, right?
"Oho, congratulations! It's been a long time since anyone other than Steven Stone beat me!"
No wonder, given the rat**** insane Pokemon you use. Where's Steven now, actually?
"Amazing, isn't it."
... Oh, he's just there. He's like one of the few people that didn't get eaten or killed as the game progressed.
"My Bronzong tells me that there's a disturbance in your mind. Oh well, I suppose that's your business. Don't mind me - I just like to look in on those who beat the Champion."
... That's... disconcerting.
"Oh wait, you've got a Pokedex now, Jack! I'll rate it for you!"
Birch is here too? Oh man,
this conversation would have turned awkward fast if he realized this was May's Pokedex.
:
"Hmhm... So you've seen 160 Pokemon and caught 34 Pokemon..."
Like it really matters in the world we live in anymore? What really matters is a group that's dependable, not a collectathon.
"That's good. I never got a Pokedex. I just wrote it all down on the back of Prof. Elm's balding head."
Nobody cares, Mr. Super Original.
Now
this I do care about. Lead me there, crazy man.
"Hey, guys. Only Jack and I can go past here. Steven, you're not the Champion anymore, you know?"
Steven:
"Naturally. We'll wait, right, Birch?"
"This is some kind of room where some famous people are remembered... Eh, ask Steven about it. I'm just gonna register you."
I've always liked the look of this room. Where did this guy come from, though? Just out of the ether like the rest of the crazy people?
We finally managed to get this far. I'm impressed, to say the least.
: (
"Aw, hell yeah! We're famous now, baby!")
:
("We did great! Congratulations, everybody!")
:
("I'll admit, I could get used to this kind of admiration.")
:
("Man, we kicked ass! I never thought I would even be... here, you know?!")
:
("Whoa! I can't wait to tell Shine and Spark! They're gonna be so proud of me!")
:
("... I'm not usually fond of this kind of attention but I'm glad I could help.")
: "Sweet! Let's celebrate, guys! Tomorrow, we're going to seal the Dark Lord's demise!"
[Current audio in-game: Credits]
Well, that's the end. (I guess?)
Now we just have to watch the credits roll with Not Jack Landon riding through the landscape. Granted, I'll give Cutlerine slack for not being able to change the Credits considering it's fully animated.
[Various images of The Crew show up]
If this were a Nuzlocke and I lost some of these guys, this part of the credits would have been more heartwrenching than it needed to be.
... You know, in the context of Snakewood's "story", Landon and May might actually be
fleeing from Senex's forces in this ending. Then again, that's giving the game way too much credit.
Well, that's the end of Snakewood.
... I'm just joshing you. The game isn't done yet - not by a long shot! See you next time on Let's Play Pokemon Snakewood where we tackle the "postgame" and get a real conclusion!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team setup:
(Bellamine,
, Level 58,
) -
"Jack, are you drinking again?!"
(Ambes,
, Level 58,
)
- "Yeah! Me and that Zapdos had a hell of a time - we kept countering each other's moves, but Ice Punch let me come out on top!"
(Jeanne,
, Level 58,
)
- "Hmmhmm~ Valor was a knight in shining armor. I adore how he always helped me when we got cornered."
(Valor,
, Level 58, has Plus Band,
/
) -
"We sure whipped them good. I have no idea what was up with the weird fire orange, though."
(Umbra,
, Level 57,
)
- [senses a malicious force on the horizon and shivers]
(Ballin,
, level 58,
/
) -
[is telling a story to the others]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back-up Team:
(Reggie,
, Level 33, has Leftovers,
/
)
- "Eyyyyyyyy! Congratulations, you guys! We need to party 'till we drop!"
(Zagon,
, Level 33,
) -
"I... wouldn't recommend that, Reggie? I mean, Jack and the active Crew still need to be able to fight the Dark Lord..."
(Alice,
, level 12,
) -
"Nyahahaha! You guys were awesome! I'll always feel safe with you guys around!"
(Ace,
, Level 40, has Anadrin Talon,
/
)
- "Valor is a man after my own heart. The fact he came back a hero is even better."
(Tohru,
, Level 46,
/
)
- "Hwahahaha! Welcome back, champion!" [pats Jack on the shoulder hard enough to topple him over]
(Pumbloom,
, level 14,
) -
"You're the best, Ballin!"
(Wagner,
, Level 44,
/
)
- "... I don't quite understand why we're celebrating while there's more danger ahead. Hmm... Well, the challenge they faced was great. So I'll let them bask in the glory."
(Chloris,
, level 43,
/
) -
[is dressed up in a tiny cheerleader's outfit with Beatrice and Juno]
(Beatrice,
, Level 26,
/
)
- [cheers for Jack and the active Crew]
(Shine,
, level 12,
) -
"Ambes, you're incredible! Beating Zapdos and everything else you've done... You're undoubtedly one of the best big bros out there."
(Spark,
, level 12,
) -
"I know, right? Our big bro's a natural born savior!"
(Alpha, level 50,
/
) -
"... FEH. IF I WERE ORGANIC, THIS IS WHERE I WOULD VOMIT. SO SACCHARINE... ALTHOUGH THE DINOSAUR HAS A POINT. ISN'T THERE MORE DANGER AHEAD?"
(Letro, level 31,
/
) -
"LET THE ELITE FOUR HANDLE IT. THEY'RE CLEARLY STRONG ENOUGH TO PROTECT THE PLACE WHILE WE REST."
(Juno,
, Level 38,
)
- [is cheerleading with Beatrice and Chloris]
(Menti, , level 37, /) - "... Everybody sounds so happy outside. I wish I could join the fun too...!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
/Smilies/emot-rock.gif)
