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  #1    
Old September 17th, 2010 (12:17 PM). Edited September 17th, 2010 by Disrupter.
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Disrupter Disrupter is offline
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 27



    This is my Let's Play of Pokemon Crystal. I'll try to update weekly or as much as I can, I'm busy with school and personal stuff. If you want make a suggestion for my team post it on the comments and I will consider it.

    The Shenanigans of Kris!
    Spoiler:

    Gay butt smex with Mr.Pokemon is no excuse for being late, good sir.



    Oak, you fudging pedo. I'm a girl problem brosky?



    I also woke up your mother in my own way. ZING!



    Best mum evar. LIEK OMGAWD I HAS TO GO TO ELM!



    LIEK NO WAI! TEH GINGERZZ KICKED ME IN MY VAG I Z BE BLEEDING!



    New team member. GET YO HANDS OFF MAI LETTUCE



    Last picture has no purpose at all, want me to improve? Post suggestions below.

    Disrupter out.




    Spoiler:
    Current Team:


    -MaiLettuce





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      #2    
    Old September 17th, 2010 (8:15 PM).
    Yuoaman's Avatar
    Yuoaman Yuoaman is offline
    Legen- wait for it...
    • Silver Tier
     
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    Suggestions:
    • Try to use less "L33T Speak", it distracts from the "humor".
    • More images. Seriously, this is far too few images to be considered and LP, screenshot LPs traditionally show everything you are able to screenshot, not just one whenever you feel like it.
    • Work on your humor, definitely. "Gay butt smex with Mr.Pokemon is no excuse for being late, good sir." is not funny, and you haven't developed Oak as that sort of character yet, so it feels very incongruous.
    • Reader participation. This is one of the things that separates LPs from walkthroughs with jokes, and the fact that you chose your starter and named them without any of that is a little odd.
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    "pps new screenie" - No, really shut up yuoaman.

    Haaave you read my LP?
    Pokémon Quartz - The only one of mine really worth reading.

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      #3    
    Old September 18th, 2010 (4:22 AM).
    Liliana Vess Liliana Vess is offline
    • Platinum Tier
     
    Join Date: Nov 2008
    Location: «UK»
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 1,984
    yuoaman you left out one of the best parts of your own lets play.
    Always have a recurring joke that begins from the start. and with crystal you have SO many, the mom that takes your money and spends it, the stupid professor that doesn't know what an egg it, the weird ginger rival with the weird hair style.
     

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